BRIDESMAID ISSUE

Hi Tina,
If she hasn`t bothered to attend anything and keeps making excuses then in my opinion; i would drop her from the wedding and find someone else. But i guess it depends on each situation. I hope you figure out what you have to do and good luck with your planning. Congrats.

Mel

If she is one of your friends she should be supportive. If she isn`t then you don`t need her to drag you and your bridesmaids down. Enjoy your wedding and drop the unavailable bridesmaid.

Drop her. The last thing you need is more stress and if she is unreliable now what have you got to look forward to. Drop her now!!

I see this situation a bit differently than the other posters. I`d have a one-on-one conversation with her regarding your frustration with her lack of involement in your wedding. Sit down with her and talk things out, find out why she can`t/won`t participate in wedding things -- let her know how important it is to you that she does participate. Being supportive of a friend`s wedding doesn`t always mean that they are actively involved with the details.

Also, I certainly don`t mean this in a rude way, but I don`t see why she has to look at the hall, help you pick out your wedding dress, and get together to discuss the wedding. You stated that she is planning a simple wedding, perhaps she doesn`t get excited over details and obsessing about a wedding.

I wouldn`t drop her as a bridesmaid. There`s a reason why she isn`t participating in some of the wedding activities and that is her option. She`s a bridesmaid, not the MOH, so her obligations aren`t as numerous.

You stated she`s a lifelong friend and you want her standing up at your wedding - do you now want to change your mind because she can`t participate in all the activities you want her to?

The choice is ultimately up to you, but think long and hard about it before you make your decision. Not everyone gets into planning weddings.

Best wishes to you!

Your wedding is YOUR wedding. It`s not something she`s dreamed about for years.

I just don`t get brides these days. I expect NOTHING from my bridesmaids. Isn`t paying for a plane ticket, hotel room, and dress enough?

Well said Kay and Angela! No one cares as much about your wedding as you do. Same goes for my wedding, and everyone else`s.

If I was the bridesmaid, I really wouldn`t want to go on all these errands like seeing the hall, appointments for discussing the wedding, etc. It`s not personal at all. I hate getting bogged down in all the millions of details in the planning of a wedding. She might not feel like she can say that to you. Maybe she`s just very busy planning her own wedding and doesn`t have the time to help you wilth all the things you would like her to.

I think you should be more concerned about your relationship with her and why she clearly doesn`t feel comfortable telling you what`s up. Perhaps you`ve been so focused on your wedding that you are missing something?

Also, it`s a wee bit selfish to complain that she set her wedding date 3 months before yours and so she may not be able to "support" yours too. Have you ever asked her what you can do to help her out? I mean, her wedding is only 3 months away. It may be cliche, but friendships are a two way street.