Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

Yes, I think it`s inappropriate. The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be as a "thank you" to show your appreciation for your wedding party. What kind of thank you would it be if they get tacked on with an extra duty - making/buying the food for the dinner?

I don`t think it is in appropriate at all. Weddings are expensive, people understand this and I cannot see anyone having a problem with bringing a dish to the rehearsal dinner. Besides it`s mostly family that is there anyway. Ask around and see how the people who are coming feel about it.

I would not do it. The dinner is to honor your attendants and thank them for all they have done. They have already paid for their gowns and tuxes, shoes, shower gift, wedding gift, and given their time and energy to help you. Then they attend the rehearsal for you so that your wedding ceremony will be perfect. It would be an insult to then ask them to provide the food for the dinner you are giving them!!

I am glad my family is so down to earth and my friends understand that I am not made of money. All of my family and friends have offered a solution to every brick wall I hit. I could not fathom the thought of someone getting upset at me because things weren`t they way they expected them to be at MY wedding. Thankfully I have friends and family that understand.

All of my friends and family have said it`s my day, make it special for me and my soon to be husband. All have offered opinions and ideas that I really appreciate.

Not to sound rude to any of you, but stop doing everything by the book, it`s ok to break the rules of etiquette sometimes.

Chill out some.

AND it was always my unerstanding the purpose of the rehearsal dinner was to bring the wedding party together to meet each other. I can see thanking your party at this time, but I do believe it`s sole purpose it to merge the new families together.

Its not terrible to have a potluck rehearsal dinner. However, I did not have a rehearsal dinner at all at my wedding (we couldn`t afford it) and we did survive this. If you want to do it, go ahead.

Brandymae it seems I have seen many of your posts all over this place. From all your posts it looks like you are a bridezilla not caring about your guests or your wedding party, only caring about you and how its YOUR DAY. I don`t know what you mean because rehearsal dinner has nothing to do with etiquette. It`s about YOU giving a dinner for your wedding party. After all the wedding party does and the money they spend for your wedding you have some nerve to let them know how much of a finanical hardship it will be for you to give a dinner and so they should provide their own food. Maybe your family puts up with it because they just know you by now and don`t feel it`s worth it to get you angry. I wouldn`t say all this to you just from this one post, but it`s because of many posts I have seen from you on different topics. All you care about is yourself and money. You could easily cook a pasta dinner yourself for so cheap, but i know you can`t be bothered because it`s YOUR DAY and your family knows how you just don`t have any money. Oh it`s so tiresome to hear people like you.

Melina, you are preaching to the wrong person. I am not having a wedding party, I am not having brides maids, my daughter is walking me down the aisle. We are not having a rehersal dinner, best man, etc. To call me bridezilla is very wrong. My guests aren`t incurring A SINGLE COST!

You have gotten the wrong idea, you have jumped to conclusions and should feel horrible for assuming all I care about is money. How dare you try to form an opinion about me and my life when you have just read a few posts I have written. You should truly be ashamed of yourself.

And in all honesty, yeah I am a little worried about money, I don`t have it to throw around, yet I am not asking for anyone else to do such either. Which is why my wedding is limited to 25 guests, all family and my closest friends. Which is why I am not having a cake made, no chair covers, no photographer, no flowers everywhere, which is why right now I don`t even have a dress to wear or a tux lined up. You see I could care less about the superficial stuff, all I want it to marry the man of my dreams and live happily ever after.

(not that there is anything wrong with having all the above, if you can afford it, right now I can`t.)

I`ve seen a lot of your other posts too and I agree with Malina.

Thank you so much for your help. Since I don`t want anyone`s feelings hurt, and I`m not sure how to delete the question I posted in the first place, I`m going to ask that no one else post anything as a response. Apparently the stress of a wedding is causing people to become upset. I didn`t and don`t want anyone to be hurt by what is said.

Oh Brother, I have been here less than 2 weeks, you must have me confused. I don`t have a "lot" of posts here.