Should We Be Offended?

Is this couple having a meal following their ceremony at some point? If so, and they are only inviting you to the ceremony and dance and omitting you from the meal - yes, I`d be offended, not attend, and not send a gift.

There is a dinner and there may be finger food at the Church following the ceremony. We definitely aren`t invited for dinner.

This is just my two cents but I don`t think that you should be offended. A wedding is so expensive and it sounds like they want you to share in the festivities but might not have been able to invite you to dinner. Having helped planned many weddings, I have seen the thought process of these brides and you are not obligated to bring a gift. I do not believe that they expect this of you, but it sounds like they just couldn`t afford to include you in the evening dinner (where it is most costly).

This is my opinion speaking from experience. :)

Kellyn

I would be offended as what she (the bride) did is not proper. It sounds as though the email invitation was an after thought. I feel if a person isn`t important enough to someone to be invited to all of the wedding festivities then they shouldn`t be invited to any. It`s all or nothing when it comes to weddings - you shouldn`t invite some to eat the meal and others to go to the `free` parts. It`s a rude practice in my opinion.

Look, not everyone can afford to feed everyone they would like to share in their special day. My mom happens to come from a very large family and not even her brothers and sisters are invited to the meal following the ceremony. For some people its not about spending $100 a plate for 150 guests . Or some people might prefer that time to be a more intimate, family-oriented time.
The only thing I can see being offended about is the fact that you were invited in an e-mail which by the sounds of it was directed to three or four of you at a time.

I just got invited to a co-worker`s wedding that is May 29th, we just received the e-mile invite today, 24 days before! how rude! We have all been working together 3 years. She told us she ran out of invitations that`s why she didn`t give us any. I`m planning my own wedding as well, and I have planned to order at least 25 extras, it`s just so last-minute to do this type of e-mail invite. I`m still attending her wedding, but just a quick note to everyone, order enough invitations in advance!

Adriana,
In this case it sounds as though, they may indeed have had enough invitations, but have been getting their replies back and maybe are not making their quota. Usually they have to give a solid number two weeks before. So they date their response cards three weeks before. I`d say you probably were on the B list of invites. If they weren`t making their guarenteed # for the reception hall, they had a few stand-bys in mind. I`ve heard of this, but never actually witnessed it.

I am getting married in May. The only people at my wedding will be our parents(4), siblings(7), one friend each, and people at my job(I work in a church,you know how they travel, and it`s free). But at my reception it`s only our families(100). So it`s not that I don`t want to invite people at my job to my reception, it`s that I can`t feed everyone! Some don`t be offended their doing the best they can w/ their budget to include EVERYBODY in their special day, take it from me! As for the invitation, I would have at least went to the nearest party city and got a Do It Yourself kit for $20 if I ran out! I`d be cracking up if I received an invitation through my emails. They can`t be trying to cut back that much! But it`s up to you if you want to go, I would. Why go to the reception if you don`t know all of her family and friends? Yall just work together.

We actually had a co-worker who had a very large family and so did the groom. She told us by word of mouth that we were more than welcome to attend the ceremony but she couldn`t possibly have us at the reception because of cost restraints. We had already thrown a wedding shower for her and another co-worker at work (some small gifts and a gift certificate) so we were not expected to bring gifts. Many of us attended to see how beautiful and happy she was and to witness the ceremony and were not the least offended to not be invited to the entire reception. Depending on the motive of your co-worker - she could just be a harried bride who really wants you guys there and realized she could invite people to the ceremony and dance only - whether proper or not. You generally would not do this but if offered correctly and taken with the same understanding it could work out for all to have a nice party.

It`s just one day that means more to her than you guys.

If you decide to go - have a wonderful time. You could all buy her one affordable gift and make her day by attending. It will make for good water-cooler conversation if one of you falls for one of the groomsmen.

Best regards,

Kim Pruitt

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