2ND WEDDING

Who cares when they got married? Yes I understand that you would feel hurt for not being told earlier, however they still can have a reception if the choose. I hope though that they are not trying to fool other people into thinking that they are just getting married then! Let them have a party to celebrate their marriage and new baby and have fun!

They can have a wedding if they want to! I don`t see what the problem is.

It`s not a wedding. They already had the wedding. You can`t pretend to be getting married when you`re already married. They can host a reception if they want. Nothing wrong with that. Some people like to have a vow renewal ceremony as well. But the wedding is over.

I don`t consider going to the justice of the peace having a wedding. That is called getting married completely different IMHO. A wedding is a special ceremony service with all of your family and friends there to witness. With the gown, flowers, candles, and everything else. I don`t think this couple should be told that they can not have a wedding because they chose to go to the JOP first. They might have chosen to do this because they were living together. No matter what the reason every couple has the right to have that special day where they can announce their love to each other in front of all their family and friends. I personally would not give them a hard time about wanting to have their special day.

The definition of a wedding has nothing to do with where you do it or how many people are in attendance or what the decorations are. A wedding is simply when you wed! Some people choose to have big, glitzy weddings with all the trimmings, while some people choose to have a private wedding with a JP. Either way, both are weddings and both give you the same end result - two people who are now wed, united in matrimony, husband and wife.

You can`t really have a wedding when you`re already wed. The best that you can do is have a pretend wedding. But that would either mean deceiving your guests or telling your guests that you are already married and want to put on a play. Why not just be honest and accept the fact that for whatever reason you chose to have a private JP wedding and then go invite your friends and family to a reception celebrating that!

This is the definition given by Columbia University. It is said to be a social event.
The noun "wedding"
1. Wedding, wedding ceremony, nuptials, hymeneals -- (the social event at which the ceremony of marriage is performed)

Or why not just except the fact that your brother and his wife wants to a have a wedding with the all the glitz. Not to be rude but unless you are paying for it, it is really none of your business. You have the option of giving them your support in their marriage and attending their "wedding" and making your future relationship with them good or ignore their wishes in the celebration of their life together and not attend their wedding and possibly ruinning your relationship with your brother.
I would think about how much and what you say to them. Especially your sister in law. As you know the big wedding is one of the most important part of most girls life. It is something that we all dream about. That is why we are all here. To plan that dream wedding.
So I guess what I am trying to say no matter if you agree with it choose which is more important to you your relationship with your brother or going to a wedding that you might not agree with the concept.

Trust me I have seen it many times weddings can split families.

Good luck to yourself and your brother and sister in law in their wedding.

The proper thing would be to have a vow renewal service. I can`t imagine a couple trying to hide the fact that they are already married to their guests. Also, if they plan to get married in a church, there is no way a Pastor, Priest, Minister, etc would partake in anything other than a vow renewal service.

Once again, I have to say it is quite common for people to get married in a justice of the peace - then celebrate with a big fancy wedding later on. Its not uncommon at all. My husband and I had a small, private ceremony, then a few weeks later we had our "public" ceremony in front of all our family and friends. It DID serve a purpose, so that everyone would know we were married and they could be witnesses to the event. Its not like we just wanted to throw a big wedding for show. I think if someone has an objection to it, then fine, don`t go. Your choice. If it were a close friend of mine, I would want to be supportive. Its not much to ask that someone attend a wedding, especially if its local.

Who do you get to perform a "fake" wedding if you`re already married?

Hanna, its not a fake wedding. Its two people who are publicly making a commitment to each other, in front of their family and friends. It is a "real" wedding. Any preacher or pastor would perform the ceremony.

Well you know what I mean... If you`re already married who do you get to officiate over it? I just can`t imagine anyone would officiate a marriage ceremony of two married people unless it`s like a vow renewal. How does this work, really I`m curious about it.

Why do people officiate a wedding ceremony for two married people? It happens all the time. The people say their vows, just like a regular ceremony. Any pastor or preacher would do this. Its not immoral or illegal. Like I said before, its purpose is to say vows publicly in the presence of witnesses, all your friends and family. If someone has an ethical issue with it, or thinks its a "fake" wedding, then they should not attend the wedding. That`s their choice.

I have had several friends who did this. One friend needed to get on her fiance`s health insurance policy as soon as possible, so they got married at home in a 15-minute ceremony. Then a few months later, had the big wedding. Were they being fake or phoney? No. They were just having the wedding they had planned on to begin with.

Another thing Hanna, you said you cannot imagine anybody would officiate a marriage ceremony of two married people (like its wrong or something). Well, I cannot imagine why any preacher would officiate a marriage ceremony of two people who have each been divorced 3, 4 or 5 times. But it still happens every day. I see people who`ve been married 4 or 5 times still have the "big wedding". So what is wrong with a couple who is already married, but just wants to have one wedding???

What do you mean by one wedding? It`s not one wedding. It`s a wedding and then a pretend play at a later date. A married woman dressing up as a bride. I`m with you on this one, Hanna. There aren`t any officiants that would pretend to marry to a legally married couple. They will do a vow renewal ceremony. But they will not pretend that a couple is not married yet.

Why not call it what it is and have the appropriate ceremony and a nice reception?

Linda, there are lots of officiants who will do this type of ceremony, I personally have known some and attended weddings where the couple had married a few days or few weeks earlier, and they did the wedding with the traditional vows. I can`t get over what you people think is so horrible about this.

I don`t think it`s horrible, I think it`s bizarre and deceptive. I just don`t understand why people want to pretend that they aren`t married so that they can have a bigger wedding and wear the bridal gown. Tell the truth, and send out invitations that explain the situation as it is...
We are pleased to announce that
Dick and Jane were married on June 12, 2004.
We would be honored to have you share with us in a celebration of our recent nuptuals.
Please join us as we repeat our vows on October 5...
Dinner and Dancing will immediately follow...

Something to that effect. Then you wear appropriate clothing, not clothing pretending to be a bride if you`re not a bride.

My uncle and aunt have been married for 40 years and he still calls her his bride. I would like you to tell him she is not.

Entry: bride
Function: noun
Definition: wife
Synonyms: helpmate, mate, spouse, wife
Antonyms: bridegroom, groom, husband
Concept: family entity
Source: Roget`s Interactive Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.0.0)
Copyright © 2004 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Helping, I agree with you.

If two people are married, they can still have a wedding, they can have a vow renewal, they can do whatever they want. They are two people who love each other, that should be celebrated, not frowned upon.

Maybe others are just jealous of those who are happily married....