HELP!!! MOTHER IN LAW TROUBLE

OH Marissa, my heart goes out to you honey!!
First breathe!! Things will be just fine.
About the invites....If she never has the chance to see them before they are sent, she can`t possibly alter them. Take care of sending them out yourself. When she gets hers, hopefully she will realize who is in charge here.
As far as the shower goes...Buying you furniture for your home is a very nice gesture. If you are having the shower at your home, the people that have been there before will know the truth. Paying for half of the shower is a really nice gesture as well and maybe should be considered a token of her happiness for you. Maybe you can talk to sister in law and see if she would mind sharing the MC duties with one of your gals. Hopefully she will understand and let go a little bit.

I know Mother In Laws can be a bit overwhelming, mine is a piece of work herself. I think the madness comes from love, it just gets all messed up on the way out.

Things will be just fine, and hopefully you will be the only one that really notices this "little situation".

To saramarie, thankyou for your re-ply, my shower is at a hotel and its quite the elaborate thing, anyway do you not think that my motherinlaw was rude forgetting that i have a maid of honor, the sisterinlaw is not even in the wedding party but acting like she is , i have spoken up to my sister in law alreay and said that the mc thing is my moh role and that she has plans for it already and adivsed her that she can say grace before the meal is served, i left this on her voicemail, and my mom also spoke to the mother inlaw today and told her that its my moh is doing the mc thing. Do you think it is also rude of her to tell my mom she is not buying a gift for my shower?? that the furniture which is two years old and meant to be the wedding present now also a shower gift???

Marisa it is not your mother in law`s wedding, so she cannot make the decisions about these things. It is your wedding, not hers. I have noticed that a lot of women want to try and take control over another woman`s wedding. I think this is entirely wrong. It is YOUR wedding.

I do think that your mother in law has over stepped her boundries here in a few places. You have enough to worry about and look forward to, you should not have to add mother in law to the plate.
When it comes right down to it, she will not really make that big of an impact on your big day. To make your life easier, maybe give her a little leeway on this whole shower thing. It is a party to celebrate you. All you really have to do is show up, smile and open a few presents. You may have to bite your tounge a time or two, but we all have to do that every once in a while. It sounds like you sister in law is understanding, seeing as how she probably did the same thing at her wedding. Talk to her, may find a great ali in her.
You are going to be great. Your friends that love and support you know who you are and know where your heart is. They will understand if everything doesn`t go the way you would have liked, and to tell you the truth, they probably wont notice for the most part.
If you need to vent, you are more than welcome to e-mail me!! You can get me at saramarie_usa@yahoo.com

Dear Marisa,

You`re getting Married and need to find constructive ways of tactfully working through many situations that will arise during your Marriage.

The number one rule is to keep in mind is the common misperception that this Wedding is all about YOU. This misperception will get you into lots of trouble not only now, but well beyond your wedding.

Since this is only a wedding shower, and your Mother-In-Law is contributing. (Whether she`s contributing doesn`t matter). Let her control the shower a bit and you take the postion of guiding her.

Your Wedding is meaningless if you strive to take full control of the wedding. This means that not everything will get done your way. Even though it is YOUR WEDDING, it isn`t. Treating your wedding as OUR WEDDING is the way to go... If you`re having trouble with the decisions being made, or there is one person that is trying to take too much control, there is a very simple way to alleviate this.

Have Wedding Planning Meetings.
Get everyone who is helping out with your wedding. IE You, your mom, and mother-in-law and bridesmaid and have a meeting or several meetings. You`ll be able to make use of peer-pressure to keep your mother-in-law in check and if she persists to completely control the wedding planning, you`ll be able to trump her easier when you have a coalition of people on your side.

Remember a marriage is a relationship. Not just between you and your husband, you`re creating a new family and your new family will have a relationship with your family and your spouses family.

Having said all that. The simple fact that you are already complaining about your Mother-in-Law hints at a problem that needs to be nutured... And from the tone of the message I`m thinking that you`re looking to have more control of your wedding. Having wedding planning meetings will help get mostly what you want. If you continue to fight and scrap and bitch and moan about having more control over your wedding... You`re doomed!

The Wedding cerimony is all about YOU... And your wedding reception is all about THEM. If you want to have a happy Wedding and Marriage afterwards you need to include everyone in the Wedding and concede control of your wedding a bit.