SHOWER ETIQUETTE ASAP
My daughter`s shower is in 2 weeks in a very beautiful restaurant on the water with 65 to 70 quests. What exactly is my role in this shower. I am paying for the whole thing. I`m not one to make a toast since my daughter isn`t even talking to me. Do I greet guests as they walk in? Do I go to each table and thank them individually? Also, what do most mothers give their daughters for a shower present. I was hoping that the $2,000 that I`m spending for the shower would be enough. If you are wondering why my daughter isn`t talking to me go back and read "Gay Parent" for that story.
Thanks,
Lynn
Posted by Lynn; updated 04/03/04
Reply
Mothers don`t usually host or pay for their daughter`s shower, etiquettely speaking. But since you are, then yes, you do greet the guests, you should make it a point to make the rounds at all the tables. And your daughter should also try to speak with each guest or go to each table to personally thank them.
As for your gift, you can get her whatever you want. If you feel the shower was your gift to her then so be it.
Posted by Linda; updated 04/03/04
Reply
I have read your post and I am sorry that your own daughter would feel that way. She should feel grateful that you still offered to pay for her shower.
I guess it would be your preference as to wether or not you purchase her another gift. In my opinion, I don`t think she deserves it. I know she is your daughter and being both a daughter and a mother myself, I am trying to look at this from both points of view.
Goodluck to you and I hope that by the time the wedding gets here, maybe she will realize how hurtful she has become,and be grateful for all that you and your wonderful partner have done for her.
I agree with the previous post, since you are hosting the shower than you should greet the guest,and since your daughter is the guest of honor, she too, should greet them. Maybe not at the same time, if it is going to cause friction. Maybe you can greet them at the door and she can greet them at the tables.
Hope everything works out for you and sorry if I sound judgmental to your daughter, i don`t mean to. Goodluck!
Posted by brandy; updated 04/03/04
Reply
Brandy,
Thank you for responding, I have another question regarding the opening of the presents. I seems they open the presents of the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom last. Is it appropriate to announce when she opens my card that my gift to her is the shower? I would like it to be said because people would think that I did`nt give her anything.
Thanks,
Lynn
Posted by Lynn; updated 04/03/04
Reply
I think I would add a personal touch in there stating that the shower was a gift. Such as..
Daughter,
I hope this shower, as my gift, shows how much I love you and appreciate you. Hope you and Fh have many happy years together. Or something of that nature.
I don`t really know what else tosay at the moment but if I think of anything else I`ll let you know. Goodluck!
Posted by Brandy; updated 04/03/04
Reply
Lynn, I don`t think it`s appropriate to do that. I predict that that after such a moment with the announcement of your "gift" there will be a moment of uncomfortable silence. Nobody will know what to say and it will be awkward for your daughter, for guests watching and for you. If you are hosting the shower then everybody already knows it. To announce it or put it in your card to prove you are giving her a gift seems a little over the top to me. If you are really concerned about people thinking you didn`t give her anything then give her something.
Posted by Linda; updated 04/04/04
