Wedding- Guests Pay To Enter
Hey look I know it`s rude but I`m in a BIG fix.
We are having our wedding at a local renaissance festival. The cost is $25 per person. We booked this in Sept. And then in October my husband to be got laid off from work and has been working odd jobs since. We are doing everything we can just to make this happen with the bare bones. The pakage we have includes 50 people and we intend to pay for that (somehow) Now my parents (who are not contributing financially) want me to invite the entire family (total ending guest list at about 100) There is no way we can afford to this, the only option is to have some of these people pay their own way. What do we do and what should we say to these people??
Posted by Alaena; updated 03/31/04
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Oh no! you ARE in a bind. You should explain to your parents that there is NO WAY that you can afford that. You must put your foot down. Tell your parents that if they want to add to the guest list then they HAVE to pay for it. They should understand that you two are in a finacial bind. Hopefully they`ll understand...but I don`t think you should have your guest pay to enter....that is just to much to ask. Good luck to you and I pray your FH will find a new job soon.
Congrats
Posted by Erica; updated 03/31/04
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I agree and disagree with the previous poster. If your parents want to add to the guest list, then they should pay for them. It is rude to charge your guests entry to attend your wedding. How would you feel if you were at a wedding and talking to another guest and after paying 25 to enter they said theirs was free? It will just cause problems. Either have your parents pay for their extra guests or just have the original 50 you had planned for. I hope all works out for you.
Posted by Sarah; updated 03/31/04
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There is no way you can charge your guests to attend your wedding. You must either scale back down to your original 50 or you must communicate with your parents that they will need to chip in if they want to invite more people.
Posted by Linda; updated 03/31/04
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If your parents are not contributing financially to your wedding, then they have no say in the guest list. They cannot tell you who to invite. You don`t have to invite any of their family if you can`t afford it. I think its RUDE of your parents to insist you invite more people than what you can afford to pay for. Your parents are the ones being rude here, not you.
Posted by Missy; updated 04/01/04
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That last post about your parents not having a say in the wedding needs to re-examine what they just said, they haven`t formed their opinion with any concept of reality. Of course your parents will say whatever comes accross the their minds, especially the mother. And from your description of the problem your having, the wedding sounds like it will combine the wedding cerimony and the reception at the same location.
The importance of the distinction between the reception and the cerimony is this: the Wedding cerimony is all about YOU and the reception is all about your GUESTS. If the reception is all about YOU, you`re guest`s considerations won`t be adressed and your guests will not have as much fun at the reception, which will directly affect the amount of fun YOU will have on your wedding day.
My suggestion for solving the situation is simple. Listen to your parents while addressing your financial concerns.
I would solve the problem by paying for the admission of your original guest list... And trying to bargain with the festival for a discounted price. If you`re not getting at least a 50% discount on tickets already, you should be. The festival is benefitting from your wedding too... To help with your bargaining postion, try calling the local news channel and telling them about your wedding day, if they sound like they may have someone their to cover your wedding event, you could relay that possibility to the festival.
As for the additional guests that you`re parents would like to have invited to the wedding, I think it would be acceptable for you to have them pay for admission to the wedding while at the same time saying that you would love for them to attend and make it known that they should not feel obligated that they bring gifts... The gift of love is all they need to bring with them. Don`t fret about not getting gifts, you`re likely to get plenty of them. Not to mention that gifts is not the reason for you wedding... I have no clue what gifts I got at my wedding, but I do remember who attended.
This way you`ll be happy, your parents will be happy, and the all your friends and family will not have to wonder why they weren`t invited to your splendid wedding!
And for those that usually take issue with "money issues", the money issue in this case is overridden by the fact that the guests will be attending a medival festival. Wasn`t in the orginal budget, and is the best method for including as many people as possible.
Also remember why you don`t usually want your guests to pay for anything... It`s a party and the Bride and Groom are the hosts and should foot the bill... The notion that the Bride and Groom`s parents contribute to the wedding is historically a marketing gimmick, such as the 3 months salary for a diamond ring gimmick, and the Christmas phenomenon, and so on...
Think of the money issue this way... If you`re hosting a party in your backyard or at the local park pavillion. You wouldn`t expect your friends to pay a cent... But if you were to host and event that required them to be at Cinderella`s Castle in Disney World... It would be acceptable that your guests pay a discounted fee to get into DisneyWorld, as long as they don`t have to pay for the Cinderella Castle rental or the for the meal.
Posted by Brian; updated 04/05/04
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Oh my, I`m not sure what Brian`s been smoking but he`s waaaaaaay off base. The other posters are correct, if you parents want you to add additional people to the guest list then perhaps they should be financially contributing.
Gift giving or no gift giving, no guest should have to pay to attend a wedding. If you and your fiance are paying for this wedding, thus you are the host/hostess, then it`s up to you who should be invited.
Posted by Meredith; updated 04/05/04
