Is It Me Or Am I Over-Reacting
I want anyones total opinions on this.
I have people telling me i am an impossible, non-negotiable, b_tch and everything has to be my way.
Now here`s the thing. It`s my wedding, and my FH and i are paying for everything. I had already chosen what dresses i wanted and i gave that up and chose different ones for my MOH (who is not even helping me with anything). And she also was complaining she didn`t want dyeable shoes and didn`t want to spend money on stuff she wasn`t wearing again. Now mind you, she is a cousin of mine, we are kind of close. Which is probably the only reason i changed anything. I have been pretty reasonable with things and i am told i am not. And since i have told her we are having dyeable shoes she hasn`t bothered to help with anything, about 2 months now. My one friend makes excuses for everyone why they haven`t done this and that. But just tells me i am complaining and i am asking way too much from everyone. I have been planning my own wedding by myself along with my own Jack n Jill party. My friend also told me, well its just another day its no big deal; i don`t know why your making a big fuss. Am i wrong for being hurt and angry that nobody has done anything? The jack n jill party is april 24th. My friends like well u should have just had a shower. She knows its hard for us since my FH works nights. We had to pick a date and we wanted our parties together. Is there anything wrong with that. My friend just keeps telling me how impossible i am and i have to have things my way and how i won`t compromise and stuff like that. Is it just me, am i over rea-acting?
Mel
Posted by mel; updated 03/23/04
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I know how you feel, my parents think just because my fiance and I have two kids already that we don`t deserve a wedding. We are paying for EVERYTHING pourselfs, all I ask from my mom is her opinion. She wouldn`t even go wedding dress shopping with me, my cousin did, who was a big help at the beginning but since we have postponed our weddng for sometime, my cousin and I barely speak anymore. My FH also works nights and I go to school all day 5 days a week so it is hard to get anything done.
My parents complain about the money WE are spending for our wedding but when I offered to send them to St. Lucia with the money I get this summer for Basic Training for the Air Force I sure don`t see them complaining about that!
I kinda hope I get to go to war, by the time I get home I will close to 50,000 in the bank so I can have my cake and it too!
Posted by Brandy; updated 03/23/04
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Someone, yes i am very frustrated. I live in new york.
Brandy, yeah i know the feeling. My mother wouldn`t go with me either. My cousin, who is my MOH did, and actually she did this before i asked her. But now she isn`t doing anything, not since about xmas time.
Would an e-card work? Everyone has an email ! ! ! !
:o)
Mel
Posted by mel; updated 03/24/04
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I think an e-card would be nice. Thank her for all the wonderful things she has done so far.
Posted by Brandy; updated 03/24/04
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Well my parents did not want to finance my wedding, which by the way is my first one - because they felt I was "too old" to be having a big wedding. Well I had one anyway. They did not help out that much at all. But at least I still had the wedding. If a wedding is what you want, then do it. Just don`t break the bank or go into debt over it.
Posted by Lia; updated 03/24/04
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Lia, i don`t expect my parents to finance my wedding.
We are paying for everything. I am the only girl, i have to brothers. You would think that my own mother would want to help and be involved in her own daughters wedding. She has shown no interest, but when she got married this past V-Day; what did i do. Yep went helped and did everything for her. And still everything i do, she still doesn`t care. I don`t know maybe i am asking to much of everyone. I didn`t think i was but who knows.
Thanks again girls
Mel
Posted by mel; updated 03/24/04
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I think your mother should want to be involved in your wedding. Have you talked to her about her involvement? She is missing out if she doesn`t give her own daughter some support.
Posted by Lia; updated 03/24/04
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Lia,
I have said stuff. Just seems she doesn`t want to deal with it or me. I don`t know. After reading posts on here and all the girls views and stuff. I decided i can`t let it bother me. It`s my wedding, and i am marrying the man i love. We will be starting our own life and we are happy and thats all that matters.
Thanks to everyone.
Mel
Posted by mel; updated 03/24/04
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My dear mel you r not overreacting!
Sounds like you got a handle on it! just stay focused on your day and remember all that matters in the end is the look on your husbands face when you come down the aisle..the wedding is about you and hubby! if no one else wants to help so be it!
Go forth with new life and God Bless!
Posted by jacquie; updated 03/24/04
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Mel,
I must say I agree, you are not over reacting! And like you said, it`s your day and you are marrying the man you love and that is all that matters. We too are financing our own wedding. We have been together for 9 years now, and my mom is on disability and doesn`t have a lot of money so there isn`t even a question of asking her to help. So we are doing whatever we can afford. I got my dress for $50.00 someone made my whole wedding flower set (silk) for $120.00 lol and believe it or not the only person I have told is my sister, simply because I do not want to have to deal with his mother (or others) trying to help (whole different story there) but again, we are getting married and it is our wedding, It doesn`t matter how much money you spend or the way you do things, the only thing that matters is that you will be together and you are happy!!
Posted by Sus; updated 03/25/04
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I feel your pain! I`m going through something very similiar!! I currently live in Massachusetts for the past 3 yrs...I moved here from California. I met my fiance here and am very happy but have very few friends...sooo that leaves me to planning my own wedding, and I mean everything. I initially asked one of my supposed close friends in New Hampshire to be my MOH but she backed out because she thought it would be too much work. So here I am stuck to do everything, I don`t mind it so much, but I know that I will be pretty bummed when my bridal shower comes around...if it does. I know I`ll be the one planning it, which to me doesn`t seem right at all. Well if you live in the area I`d be more then willing to help your wedding plans seeing I know exactly how you feel!!
Take care!
Natalie
Posted by natalie; updated 03/27/04
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Hi Natalie,
I am from upstate new york.
I don`t mind it much either, but when they think they have the right to say the stuff they did. Guess it just bothers me, makes me upset. I guess it`s because when we are little girls we imagine how our weddings will be. Who will help us and how the wedding will be. But like i said, it`s my FH and myself. This is for us, we are paying for it and doing everything. I like to get opinions but nobody gives them to me until i get things done and then its why didn`t you do this or that. Guess we can`t win either way HUH.........LOLOLOLOL.
I just don`t know what to do about my cousin. I called her sat and she was suppose to call me back by sunday and here it is almost a week later. And i have not heard from her. I really don`t think she deserves the title of MOH anymore.
But if you got some game ideas or some party gift ideas for our Jack n Jill i could use some. Thanks :o)
If you got any questions or need some ideas i can try and help. :o)
Best wishes
Mel
Posted by mel; updated 03/27/04
