When To Get Married

My fiancee and i have been engaged since xmas 2001. We are now getting married in may. We made sure we had enough money saved to pay for the wedding.
My opinion, i would wait until you both have stable jobs and are financially well off. Waiting may seem like an eternity (sp) but if you two are meant to be soulmates then waiting two years won`t make a difference. To me you will have two years where you can plan you wedding of your dreams. But like i said thats just my opinion.

Mel

Wait!!! You`re young and he`s young - you have a lot of living to do before you`re ready to settle down. If he`s the one now, then he still will be several years from now when you`re done with school and ready for `real life.`

I want to thank you for your comments. I would also like to say that while I may be young I have done a lot in my life. Yes I am sure that there is a lot to do in life but why can`t I do it w/ a husband? Just a question not trying to sound pushy or rude.

Krystina,
Go for it! get married now. Tell ur parents that you don`t want to live in sin with ur boyfriend and u want to do whats right. Marriage never stopped anyone from getting where they want to be. I know of women who went through medical school, not only while married, but while having children also.

My fiance and I have been together for almost 9 yrs, since high school, we know have 2 boys and still aren`t getting married for another 2 yrs (due to military) I am a freshman in college, at 26 yrs old, and we have money issues sometimes but that happens.
My family refused to pay for my college even before I got pregnant and will not give me a penny for my wedding, they said I don`t deserve it since I have kids. I am doing what I want and paying for it myself.
If you are smart enough to get accepted to college I am sure you are smart enough to decide how to live your life and what you want out of your future. Don`t let anything hold you back

My fiance and I have been engaged for almost a year. We are waiting until June 2006 (when I graduate from nursing school), so I totally understand how long a wait it seems! However, what I have learned over this last year, is how great a long engagement is! I have time (even in my extremely busy schedule) to look around, plan, and really enjoy the engagement. I don`t feel rushed or busy or overwhelmed. I have the time to find discounts and whatnot, and I don`t feel anymore that 2 years is really that far away. I would suggest wait, take your time and enjoy your engagement. Your love, and your future aren`t going to go anywhere.

I wish questions like these had easy simple answers. Thank you for your input and any more would be appreciated.

Hi Krystina-

I am 30 yrs old and am planning my second wedding, which isn`t until Apr 2005. The previous marriage was at the ripe old age of 19. I, too, was in college and thought I had lived and knew everything. However, after we got married, bills came into play then I got pregnant, so college was put on hold. I did not know who I was at the age of 19. I have changed ten fold since then, through good and bad experiences. My ex-husband and I started to grow apart because we wanted two different things as we got older. We separated by the time I was 24 and divorced by the time I turned 25. You mentioned you have done a lot in your life. That may be the case, however, there is a lot more to come. My suggestion is to wait, continue your education (let your parents pay for it, because it is expensive and is going to get more expensive) and if it is meant to be, it will happen. The only difference is, you will be a lot wiser about who you are and what you want out of life. This comes from experience. Matter of fact, if you do your research, you`ll find many marriages (now-a-days) that started in youth do not last.

This is one of the simplest questions to answer contrary to what you just said.

The simple rule of thumb is: date 2 years, then get engaged and set the wedding date at least 1 year in advance so that all your relatives have ample time to make their vacation plans.

This way you`ll have ample time to make sure you`re compatible and your relatives will also have enough time to make plans to come to your wedding.

If you`re as mature as you say you are then you also have the patience that comes with maturity. 3 years from first meeting your boyfriend to marriage is actually a short turnaround time.

Just remember that within one year after marriage, that kids come (holds true 80% of the time). I guarantee it.... So make sure you have your ducks all in a row.

Good luck

Krystina-

I think you should do what you and your boyfriend feel is right, but with that said I will tell you that things change after getting married, finacially that is. I got married at 20 and it was the best thing I have done. We have been together for 4 years now and have 2 kids and one on the way May 10th!!! My husband went through college while I was pregnant with our second child and it was hard but we made it he graduated and is now in a good job. As far as college goes some people I know thought it was easier after they got married (they were both going at the same time) they didn`t have the distractions of "college life" because they wanted to be home and with each other. Yes you have alot of life ahead of you and everyone says wait experience life. But I think going through life with someone by my side is sooooo much more fun!!! There is always finacial aid out there to help you with school costs. My husband received a lot of grants for college. No one can tell you what the future holds and what you should do just make sure you weigh both sides of the situation and remember there is going to be bumps in the road no matter what you do.

Don`t get married until you are both settled.

It will either work out or it will not work out. Let the time pass - don`t add marriage as yet another thing you`d need to settle if it DOESN`T work out.

My name is hamdi

NO WAIT ! IT WILL TAKE AT LEAST A YEAR OR MORE TO PLAN ! GO AHEAD WITH PLAN AND HOLD OFF THIS WAY EVERBODY IS HAPPY!!

Krystina this may not directly apply to you, but I see lots of posts on this site talking about marriage in coordination with financial instability.
In regard to that topic, has anyone realized that marriage may infact relieve financial burden? Think about this, if both of you have a house payment or rent, now there is only one payment due every month. Only one utilities bill, one phone bill, one hot water bill, one internet bill, etc... And for the things that can`t be eliminated alot of these bills can be condensed when a couple is married. Examples, you can get a cell phone plan together, insurance together, etc...
I`m not saying that if you can`t afford to house and feed yourself then you should get married. Just that if each of you is supporting a life of your own, chances are it will be cheaper to live as one than two.

I know exactly how you feel. My fiance and I met at the young and we were so anxious to be married. I thought that if we loved each other and knew that we were meant to be together then why shouldn`t we be as soon as possible. Now I am so glad that we did not get married. I could not imagine going through college with a husband. College is a point in your life where you learn so much more than you ever thought. Not only do you have extremely hard classes with tons of homework, but you have to learn all over how to make friends. You find new interests due to there being more options than you ever knew possible. You also learn so much about your self. My fiance and I needed that time to grow seperately and together. You need to learn how to be independent and not rely totally on each other for all of your emotional and social needs.

There is also always the chance that one of you will love the school and for the other it just won`t work out, which happenned with us. Our choice of college was not right for my fiance. He needed to transfer to a school with a different program, while the school that we were at had exactly what I needed and wanted with my major. He ended up moving 2 hours away, which was terrible at the time, but only made our relationship stronger.

So, after I have rambled forever, I just want to sum it up by saying that now that we are engaged and done with school, I absolutely know that now is the right time and I am so glad that we didn`t get married earlier. I am sure that we would have made it through, but we are much better people now than we would have been.