Parents Help Pay For Wedding

I think that you are sounding like a spoiled brat. It is not your parent`s responsibility to pay for everything you want. If you want this lavish wedding, then pay for it yourself and be happy and grateful for any help that you receive. Who cares if you don`t get a big engagement party? Seriously, is it worth ruining your relationships over? I suggest you reread your posting, maybe you will see how immature and selfish you really sound. "My mom kicked me out when I was 22". So. What`s your point. I`m surprised that she put up with you that long. At 22, you should be able to support yourself. I`m guessing that since your fiance had to pay for a hotel for you to stay at that you aren`t able to handle or support yourself. At 22, you should be able to do this. I`m guessing she kicked you out to teach you how to live on your own. Grow up. I don`t know how old you are now, but you are at least 22 and should learn that it is time to grow up and stop relying on others to support you. If you want a big wedding, start saving some money and pay for it yourself.

BTW - I am not insulting you, but giving you my opinion (which you asked for) The real test of your maturity level is whether or not we see a string of insults back at me because I don`t agree with you.

If your parents want to attend your wedding, they should be willing to contribute some monetary amount. Ask them what they can afford, and accept what they offer. Consider cutting some costs in certain areas or having a smaller wedding.

Tara, my dear, you are not mature enough to be getting married. Please reconsider this.

Tara,
No i don`t think your mother is being fair. If she paid for your brothers wedding, schooling, his credit card, and bought him a car. Then yes to be fair, it seems she would help you out or at least act like she is interested in that you are getting married. I have two brothers and i have always known my parents favored my brothers. To this day my mother still does, my father not really. My mother always says she tries to be equal, she never does. I do a lot for my family, i bend over backwards and then i get crapped on. My mother has shown no interest to help me out in any way for my wedding. You would think being her only daughter she would. But parents should never have favorite kids and should be equal between all of their kids. But for some reason it just never happens that way.

Mel

This is to Meia Fang, I am very mature thank you very much, i just turned 35. Like hello, you are the one that is immature and has no idea what life is like, do you have siblings?? are you saying that it is right for a mother to favor her son and then when it comes to her daughther wedding she doesnt care?? like come on did you just fall off of a turnip truck or what!!!!, i think you should reconcider, i have an excellent realationship with my fiancee of 7 years!! we are like to peas in a pod!! I hate judgmental people like yourself, you have alot of growing up to do if you fail to realize what i`m disputing.

Oh. My. God. You are 35 years old? You sound like you are 17 or 18.

No its not "fair" for parents to favor one sibling over another. Unfortunately it happens to lots of people. Life in general, is not really fair. If you are already getting ten thousand dollars for your wedding, that is a lot of money. My wedding is not costing even that much!

To liza, oh another judgement person, keep you comments to yourself, how can you say i sound 17 when you dont even know me, the amt is 10000 canadian not american**** duh** god you american lack intelligence!!!!

Tara - I`m not American. Thanks.

Your parents kicked you out at 22? Mine kicked me out at 17, but then I half deserved it. It made me a better person.
Now at 26, with two children and just now getting ready to marry their father in 2 yrs (due to military personnel, my self included). And I have not one time asked my parents for anything. I have bought my own things since I was old enough to babysit. I have a 12 yr old sister MY birth parents adopted and she gets treated 10 times better than me because they feel sorry for some of her childhood and they now have more money to give her the luxuries they couldn`t afford to give me. But like I said I do have 2 kids and my parents are great to them.
Am I a jealous older sibling, yes once in awhile but then I look back to how my parents did the best they could for me at the time and still do good by me by treating my kids good. Will I complain cause they wouldn`t offer to pay my college tution or for my wedding, NEVER! They pay me enough in the love they show for me and my kids and though they really don`t like my fiance due to personal reasons they are kind to him and respect him.

Hi Tara.
While you may not feel that your parents (or just your mothers) treatement towards you is not fair the fact remains that you can not force anyone to help you with anything. It seems like you have two choices. You can either let this upset you and hate your mom, not invite your folks to the wedding and so on (which you may regret later), or you can choose to "go it on your own" and have the satisfaction that you succeeded on your own two feet. Granted, the extra money would help you make your day exactly how you want it to be, but if you have to cut from your budget somewhere at least you`ll still be marrying the guy of your dreams right?? In the end... Thats what really matters right?

Tara your wrong americans are very smart. By the way your the one who misspelled your name how smart is that. What did you go to the 2nd grade to learn that.

I doubt Tara misspelled her name (although its possibe - she spells everything else wrong!). However, her BIGOTED comments regarding the nationalties of other people (Americans) is unwelcome here on this board. If you don`t like a certain group of people - keep it to yourself.

In all honesty, I can see why your mother kicked you out of the house at age 22. You are being unreasonable and sounding like a 5 year old who didn`t get her way. Quit being so childish and act like an adult getting ready to get married.

I`d just like to agree with all the people on this board who tried to make your realize how ridiculous you sound. First of all, 10K Canadian or American is a lot of money and you should thank your mother. She probably has not given you more because you never thanked her for the first installment of the wedding. Second, with your attitude, I have a hunch that the marriage won`t last long. It`s a waste of money. Finally, at 35, you should be paying for ALL of your wedding. You are not a child anymore, despite the fact that you still think like one. You asked us for our opinions and it`s nearly unanimous: You are selfish. Also, you really should have been independent at 22. Your mom was probably trying to do you a favor... Or you were just getting on her nerves like the rest of us.

Amy said it all! AMEN!

No really she did misspell her name look at the 7th post it says Taro. Karen has a sharp sense.

Parents are people just like any other. Sometimes they make bad decisions. If they aren`t paying for your wedding, Tara, then be the bigger person and do what you must to make your day beautiful. After all, you already have 10,000 going toward it.

Also, you said Roman Catholic... Perhaps a little church would do you some good. Much luck!

Tara,
Before you get all defensive, like you have, maybe you should stop and take a step back. I know that it is hard because obviously this is a very emotional issue for you. I, too, know what it is like to be the less favored one. However, consider this, (i`m assuming) that your brother got married many years ago. Your parents financial situation may have changed, and they might not have told you because they might be like most parents who don`t want to worry their children, or who are content with what they have. If you are 35, then chances are your parents are at or near retirement age. Unless they are very rich, chances are they will need that money more to live off of in the next 5-10 years which to me it seems more important to have money to live off of than to spend a rediculous amount of money on one day. I know that a lot of people spend that much but I still kind of view it as a waste b/c it only lasts one day, but maybe that`s b/c I come from a poorer background. You should feel privaledged for all that your parents have been able to do for you, b/c some of us were not so lucky and have had to pay for everything since the day they turned 18, including their own wedding. Also, since you are, i think you said 35, many people believe that at a certain age paying for your wedding no longer becomes an obligation to parents, because you are established and should be able to save up some money and such. I`ll be just a month shy of 21 when I get married and I don`t have hardly any money but will be scrimping and saving what I can. I do not expect my parents to pay for my wedding b/c I know they do not have the money, however, I am hoping that they will help out on a few of the smaller things, which they have offered. However, if I were 35, I would not even ask them for a dime and if they did offer, I would tell them no. At that point I would be well established and have the money to pay for it myself and would feel that I should pay for it myself because I would be more independent from my parents. Not that I`m not independent from them now, but the government still views me as dependent when it comes to paying for school and such. Anyway, long story short, I agree with a lot of people on here that you are being a bit unreasonable, however I can understand why you would react how you have because it is hard to think clearly when your emotions have the best of you and it seems to me that this is an issue that is very emotional for you. I hope that you are able to realize this and take a deep breath and step back and really look at the whole situation. Also an apology to everyone you badmouthed for simply answering your question honestly, which is what you asked them to do, would be a great way to show that you can overcome your emotions in this situation. Best of luck!

Traci, you are very mature for someone your age!

I know lots of other 21-year olds who would not be so understanding if their parents didn`t have a lot of money to finance their wedding. My own sister, when she married in her early 20`s, expected my parents to pay an outrageous sum of money for her "Cinderella" wedding day. This was money they didn`t really have and I think they were broke after paying for the wedding.

Michelle , sorry but your opinion is not very good i`m afraid to say, my brother by the way just got married last year and my parents are very well off, so sorry there are no excuses to be made here, my parents are being unfair!!! END OF STORY!!! MICHELLE DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT CHURCH IS!! I GO TO CHURCH ALL THE TIME, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PARENTS FAVORING OTHER KIDS IN FAMILY, MY GOD ARE YOU THAT DENSE!!!! CAN SOMEONE WHO IS INTELLIGENT PLEASE RESPOND !!! WHY AM I GETTING ALL THESE STU*PID PEOPLE GIVING ME THERE DUMB OPINIONS.