WEDDING GIFTS

[[[[[Linda,
In response to your comment that you made regarding my thoughts, if you think it is so rude to mention what you want for a wedding present in your wedding invatations than I wonder why they thought up this thing called GIFT REGISTRY they even have these little cards to put inside the invatations to let everyone know where to go and purchase your present.]]]]]]]

Jenelle, I registered at three stores and never placed any registry cards in my invitations, nor did I tell any guests where I was registered. I wonder how it is that so many of my guests ended up choosing to buy gifts that I registered for? Must have been MAGIC! Woooo! No actually, your bridesmaids and your parents are privy to that information. It`s really that simple.

Sweetie, the registry is a guide for guests who don`t know what you like and what your tastes are. They are in no way obligated to buy you a gift, let alone a gift off your registry. However if they are so inclined, they might ask your bridesmaids or your parents and then your bridesmaids or your parents will either invite them to view your registry (in simpler terms: they will say "Jenelle has a registry at Macys that might help you in choosing a gift") . Or gee, they might even say something like "I don`t believe Jenelle has registered for any gifts, she and Bob have accumulated so many of the household items over the years. (Most guests will write a check then).

YOU, as the bride, do not include registry cards or info in your invitation. You do not put poems or gift requests in your invitation. You do not tell your guests that you have everything you need in your household and their thoughtfulness of a toaster would not be appreciated. You do not tell people what you would like to receive. You do not initiate any dialogue (written or verbal) with your guests regarding what type of gift they should bring for you.

Your guests will either decide all by themselves what they would like to give you (or not give you) or they will ask your maids for assistance. If they don`t ask, that means they`re prepared to take on the gift choosing all by themselves.

The concept of a gift registry at a department store, was of course invented by the department stores - so can they can make money. A hundred years ago, there was no such thing as gift registries at department stores.. It about big business and $$$.

Val I think that is a great idea but personally I have never heard of it done that way. I think every one has blown this issue way out of the water, every invitation that I have ever received has had some sort of tag or piece of paper in it stating where the happy couple to be is registered. You only know what you have been taught and for me this is the norm, no one finds it weird or rude. I will be getting married this year, my FIRST & only marriage and have gotten some great advice from this web sight when I have asked but this whole thing has made me think twice about asking anyone anything because when it comes down to it, its your wedding and you want it to be perfect and ultimately the bride is going to what she feels is best. Correct me if I am wronge (and im sure you all will) but isn`t this web sight for support, I think we all should try a little harder to say things a little nicer!

Janelle,
Not sure where you are from, but I personally have NEVER received a wedding invite with registry information attached to it. (Yet, I have for showers) I have also registered at 2 places and DID NOT attached that info in my invitations. I would be very embarrassed to do so. It is very uncommon and very presumptuous, yet it seems as though times are changing. Not for the Better!

OK....here is my 2 cents worth!
It is never acceptable to mention ANY type of gift in your Wedding invitation! Doesn`t matter if it is 1950 or 2025....it is rude. Of course people are going to give you gifts, but you cannot assume this. You are inviting those closest to you to celebrate this special moment in your lives as your GUESTS.
It is true people register at dept. Stores etc. And it is totally acceptable to place these cards in Shower invitations. The reason being is that a Shower should never be given by the Bride or close family members....(Mother or sisters of bride). One exception is a sister can host it if she is MOH or with other Brides Maids. Friends host the shower and the "Shower" concept is to Shower the couple with gifts, so making it acceptable. Old Fashioned maybe, but at least your grandma`s will not be embarrarsed! I hope good etiquette never goes out of style but the more time I spend on these boards, the more self serving rude behavior I encounter. Please visit a Etiquiette message board and pose these questions. You can think what you want, but your guests will be thinking how RUDE! Look up ETIQUETTE in the dictionary.....it is "the conduct or procedure required by good breeding" ENOUGH said!

I also have never received a wedding invitation with registration information on it. Only for showers.

I can`t imagine what adult person "expects" and/or demands other people to give them things. That is so immature. It is nice when people give a gift, it is not an obligation on their part.

Ladies,
Nobody here is saying anything about demanding gifts or even asking for them. Its very common to receive wedding presents and all the card is about is letting people who may not know the couple as well as others may or people may not know what they need for there home, its telling them what store to go to that the couple has registered at for what they need. Times are changing maybe not for the better but honestly what has gotten better in this world. I have seen the registry cards placed in the invitations and in the shower invites (not both for the same wedding). Its all about how the bride wants to do it!