My Brother And Sister Are NOT INVITED

Stacy, FYI, my name is Meredith, and no I am not a coward. By now knowing my first name does that make you feel as though you know me any better? Don`t you get it? It doesn`t matter what my name is.....this selfish girl asked for our opinions and she needs to deal with the answers when she doesn`t like what people have to say.

Get over it!

Hi Merideth,no your name doesn`t make me know you better, but i noticed lots of people write nasty things then don`t give their name,enableing them to give it out but not take it.I don`t know if you are one of those types of people or not.I do know you seemed to focus on that and not on anything else I wrote.So I guess your offended.Okay if you are,im sorry.My intention was to get your attention or whoever reads this post,with an intention to bash.My point is ....its a message board, typed words.Its hard to tell how people are coming off,because its written words.At first glance,its hard for people to understand why one would not invite one who is so close in the family tree.Usually when we come from a family we generally like, it`s especially hard to understand.Her feelings of guilt shows me she isn`t entirely selfish,if she were,why have the guilt?It sounded like she was trying to make it easier for her parents.Now from what I read, you all seem to have dealt with her before in some way or the other.So maybe I don`t have a clue.Maybe, I did come accross hard, im kind of in the same boat( read "help! dealing with mean family") I know the importance of family,im 28,both parents dead and an only child,my soon to be mother in law is no joy either.So I do cling to extended family,and put up with more than I normally would.But there has to be a limit for at least a day,I just thought it unfair to call her selfish,when all she wants is for her family to act accordingly for one day.I felt they were the selfish ones.But again, maybe its too close to home and maybe this girl is totally different then what I know from the post board.Again,I am sorry if I offended you,im not being sarcastic when I say, these boards are for support and not to offend people, and that is what I unintentionaly did. Truce? Stacy

Stacy, I do see your point and can agree a lot of bashing occurs on these boards -- certainly I`m not angel as I`ve often `bashed` people who I feel are doing inappropriate things.

There are several `issues` that get me worked up, one of which are brides who worry that someone is going to ruin `their day` with inappropriate behavior -- this case being a bit more extreme as the bride isn`t even inviting her brother and sister because of her fears.

This particular bride is yes, feeling guilt, which I do cut her some slack for. However, she loves her brother and sister and yet is not inviting them to her wedding because she`s scared their may be a disruption....that to me is quite selfish. First off, she doesn`t know for sure that they will do anything. Second, did she even try talking to them saying "hey, I love you and I want you at my wedding but I want to be sure that you and mom/dad don`t get into a skuttle." Third, did she talk to her parents and say the same thing.... Fourth, did she ask friends to be on the watch to intervene should something start happening.....

You get my point. So, yes I do feel she is being selfish and perhaps I was a bit harsh with her the first time around. I just don`t want her to do something she may regret the rest of her life -- she may look back and feel remorse for not having her sister and brother at her wedding when she obviously loves them.

This next information may shed some light on why I am so passionate about this particular situation......

I`m a pediatric nurse at a children`s hospital and have been working with terminally ill children for the past 6 years. Two days before Sylvia put up her original post I watched a 11 year old girl die of leukemia. Her mother sobbed for hours and had said to me, amongst may other things....."I always wanted to see my little girl grow up, get married, and have a family of her own so she could love her children as much as I love her." So, that stuck in my mind and it struck me how important it is to have people we love be there on our `special day` to be a part of something so wonderful.

I guess I took this situation a bit too seriously because of my professional life and was a bit harsh originally. I learn a lot from my patients and the experiences their families have......

So Sylvia, if you`re reading this -- please reconsider not inviting your sister and brother. They are a part of your life and family and you may one day regret not having them there at your wedding because of a "what if" that you fear. You never know what may happen until it does.......try talking to your family ahead of time and being proactive to head off any disruptions. Hopefully they understand how special your wedding day is and set aside their feelings for eachother for your sake.

Good luck!