WHY :(

YOU GO GIRL! I CoMpLeTeLy agree... I keep going on here for help on my wedding-it use to be such a great place for advice and ideas. But lately all I keep getting is people telling me that I am stupid and that my plans won`t work. But, like you said, and what I have tried saying before is, everyone is different. Each town and state is different. Every family is different. Each year is different. So, my advice to all brides: GO WITH WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU, HONEY. IT`S ALL ABOUT YOU ANYHOW. And GOOD LUCK.

It`s stupid-selfish-self-centered comments like "GO WITH WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU, HONEY. IT`S ALL ABOUT YOU ANYHOW. And GOOD LUCK." that reminds me of how stupid people out there really are......

No, the day isn`t all about YOU. It`s about your guests, your families, your frields. It`s an event in HONOR of you and your marriage but it`s NOT all about you! Get your head out of your butt and realize that and then perhaps your vision won`t be so cloudy.

If you truely believed that, then why would you remain "nameless"? Funny.....

I`ve also noticed a huge number of EXPERTS who THINK that they know EVERYTHING!

The one thing I`d like to express is that NOONE can know everything about every culture, situation, location, and such. Everything comes down to personal values!

Would it really matter if I had put my name....Jane, Kelly, Kim, Linda, Beth, etc? We`re all just a bunch of first name people from mystery cities. I could have put my real name in, which is Meredith by the way. It really doesn`t matter.

Would it really matter if I had put my name....Jane, Kelly, Kim, Linda, Beth, etc? We`re all just a bunch of first name people from mystery cities. I could have put my real name in, which is Meredith by the way. It really doesn`t matter.

If my name is so darn important to you, it`s Meredith.

I have come to the conclusion that the people who post negative are people who are unhappy with themselves and their lives and want everyone else to be miserable with them.
That or they are brides left at the alter that want to ruin others SPECIAL DAY

And your wedding day is YOUR DAY!!!!

But YOUR DAY doesn`t give you the green light to snub your guests. BUT GO WITH WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU people! Insert poems in your invitations telling your guests to give you money, or dress up in formal gown and tuxedo and while serving a pizza dinner, or have the guests purchase their own food or drinks at your reception! If that`s what it means to GO WITH YOUR HEART, then you are HEARTLESS hosts.

Rules of ettiquite are not set in stone anymore. And, by the way, I have attended a wedding where the bride and groom were formally dressed and pizza was served at the reception. Pizza and beer. Tacky?? Not at all. The bride and groom were business partners in a successfull pizzaria. They fell in love while making a living selling pizza. Betcha would`ve said tacky before you knew the story behind it! My point is....ya don`t know them! You don`t know their circumstances, lives, loves, hearts.... Not a single guest there was put off by the hosts decision to serve pizza at a formal event! It was as unique as the bride and groom.

While there is no reason for bad manners to take over, there is also no reason why each bride and groom should not feel comfortable doing what makes them happy.

I choose to continue to be a supportive friend to anyone needing advice on starting their new lives together! That is what we are all here for.

You want to know what is generally accepted? Ask me, and I`ll tell you...but I won`t tell you that you are some kind of horrible person for asking for advice or feeling differently on a particular subject than I do.

Congratulations to all of us!

STEPHANIE, My point exactly. Nobody here knows each others stories or what goes on in each others lives. Thats why i don`t get why they gotta be rude and leave the negative remarks; when all we do is come on for some advice.
I SAY EITHER GIVE ADVICE WITHOUT THE RUDE REMARKS OR DON`T BOTHER ANSWERING.
I have decided we are going with the picnic reception. Goes with our theme and it will work out wonderfully. Thanks to everyone who offers their good advice. :)

Melissa

I think the difference is over the word "reception" itself. Some of us understand that a reception is about receiving your guests. We understand what receiving guests entails and that we have an obligation as hosts. And others mistakenly think that a reception is an excuse for the bride and groom to do whatever they want as long as it makes them happy.

Yes, personal tastes and traditions vary from family to family and from region to region. But we`re not talking about either of those things. We`re talking about common sense and manners. Manners never go out of style. Some seem to think that with a wedding the bride and grooms wants and needs come first and manners come second (if at all).

I have never participated in a discussion like this. I am responding now because I came to this board looking for advice on getting bulk champagne glasses etched for my wedding favors. If anyone has any ideas I would appreciate a webaddress or something.

As far as the comments that have been made about the differences between what the wedding party should extend to the other guests, following edicut so forth, I am running into similar problems. My Mother thinks that Im doing to much for my guests, whilte my instincts tell me to go all out to make everyone feel comfortable and loved.

I think that the ceremony, reception or dance party or whatever you choose to do to celebrate the union of two people means love. To me, I want to convey that every single person at my wedding is there because I love them, and I want them to share in the happiness I feel when I am with my man. I want them to see that we are a great team and we can pull all these people from all of these various backgrounds together and have a great party. Now I don`t expect the thing to go off with out some sort of disaster because thats life, but that is also what makes it memorable. Being different, letting things happen as they will and enjoying it all anyway.

It is about the Bride and the Groom and what they feel is right, but it is also about what everyone else feels and being polite gives a good feeling. So why not have some combonation?!? At least that is what I am going to try to do!

Lisa, you will be a perfect and gracious hostess.

I agree with you 100%. I grew up in a small town in Nebraska and moved to New York (Long Island) 5 years ago. I am marring here next August and having a very expensive wedding. My sister is getting married this September back home, and spending a fraction of what we are. When ever I say anything about what my sister is doing with her wedding to my FH family they make snobby remarks. If I would have thought about my wedding twice I would have had it back home also. And would have never gotten involved with a" Long Island" style wedding. I feel your wedding is your day, so you should do what ever you want that will make you happy and everyone eles should keep there negative comments and snobby remarks to them selfs. Good Luck to you and best wishes. Tiffany

Stephanie, I can`t see donning formal attire and serving pizzas and beer for dinner at the reception. The bride and groom being owners of a pizza place still doesn`t make it any less tacky. I mean they could serve special mini pizzas as hordourves (sp?) being passed during the cocktails hour. See they can still incorporate the pizza thing at a formal affair, but in a classy way. But to each his own I guess.

Yes it is your day and you should do what you want to, be considerate of your guests but why make your one special day unhappy to make some else happy. With that said IF YOU CAN`T SAY SOMETHING NICE A POSITIVE AND HELPFUL DON`T SAY ANYTHING

Actually you are not obligated to serve any kind of meal to your guests at all. They are supposed to be there to support you. To give emotional support and act as witnesses to the marriage. A wedding is not necessarilly about throwing a big expensive party.. I can`t afford to serve a huge four course dinner to my wedding guests; I don`t feel horrible about it. I just cannot do it. But I still want to see them that day, and enjoy their company. I can`t make everybody happy. I don`t expect to be catered to, either. But I can`t please everyone.

Wow...there are a lot of angry people here. Er...I just don`t understand how the wedding isn`t about you. Granted it isn`t ALL about you, but I think it`s extremely rude and selfish for a guest to think it`s all about them! It`s a balance!

Guys...I see a world of difference between forcing people to buy sodas at your wedding (yes, tacky), and NOT serving a four course meal.
I`d also like to mention the fact that I`ve been to weddings where I know the Bride and Groom spent a lot of money on a meal, and it honestly wasn`t that good.
Let`s face it. There are wedding vendors and caterers out there that hear the word "wedding" and their eyes light up with $$. I think a lot of brides are led to believe if they don`t spend a lot of money, or things don`t go 100% by tradition, it won`t be a nice wedding.
I don`t know about you guys all, but I don`t go to a wedding to judge the bride and groom on the finer points of ettiqute. Yes, there can be some glaring errors in judgement, but mostly, the minor stuff is just that, minor. I mean, would you ride someones rear end if they used the "wrong fork". Why does it really matter. Does using the wrong fork for the salad hurt you any? No! But this could be concidered an ettiqutte no-no.
Again, I`ll say how surprised at all the angry people here. A wedding should be a happy occasion, but it seems people are more concerned with the minor details, and not with the big picture!

My opinion is, a wedding should be simple. It shouldn`t be like putting on some Broadway show. Its not about putting on airs or pretenses. It is not about whether or not you have a five-hundred dollar ice sculpture, or are wearing a two thousand dollar wedding gown.