Charging To Attend Bridal Shower?

Holy Cow!!!!! That`s awful!!! How dare she! I hope she doesn`t expect them to bring a gift in addtion to that! And besides, not only is she rude and tacky to charge an entrance fee to her own shower, but it`s also rude and tacky to even give your own shower.

You can look in any etiquette book but I doubt you will find anything about charging your shower guests to attend your shower. The idea is just so repulsive and unheard of that who would even think to adress it in a book?

I can`t believe that anyone would actually think that this is okay! This is horrible. Who does she think she is anyways. Personally, I wouldn`t attend the wedding, let alone the shower. How disgusting can some people get anyways?!

That`s a new one to me. I have never heard anything like that. It is outrageous!

It just shows you where this world is headed. But believe me I bet that there will be posts saying WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT? IT"S HER SHOWER SHE CAN DO WHAT SHE WANTS! SHOWERS ARE EXPENSIVE AND NO ONE WILL MIND! These will be the same people that think that requesting cash only gifts and puttiing it on their invitations no less is also OK. Some people are just don`t get it and never will!

Although I do agree with the fact that you should not charge guests to attend your bridal shower, I still do not agree with some of the users of this sites rudeness. This site is too help you for your wedding, it seems like there are a lot of people on this site that just make people feel very badly. I understand that people are asking for opinions by placing a post, but there are way to say things nicely. And yes, although, some peoples wedding options may be not normal, it still is their wedding. It is not hurting you, so why, complain so much. I think that a wedding should be a very exciting time in your life and I love to know others opinions, but some of the replies that I have viewed on this site, are very rude. I just wanted to make people aware that you are still able to let others know your opinion and not make them feel so badly about it. I hope that everyone has a great wedding and good luck to all of the to be brides.

What...
Apparently you did not read the original post, she said that it is a friend and she thought it was improper and tacky.....so I assume you feel that it isn`t tacky, and it was your feelings that were hurt, not the original person who posted the question.We are being honest, it is tacky and if people would first visit one of the thousand wedding ediquitte sites they would get an idea of what the general public will respond.If you spend any time on this board you will know without asking what the general public feels about requesting money for gifts, requesting guests pay their own way for the wedding dinner, trying to find out how to shake down guests at the reception, and now we can add the paying for the shower (that personally is a new one to me)!As I said before some people just don`t get it and they never will!

RecentBride- your post made me smile - apparently some people don`t get it! After posting on these for several months, I do see the pattern. Some people just have to defend for the sake of "its your wedding and you can do what you want!"

Well this lady has no right! Cover charges are for frat parties, not for bridal showers!

And - I am sorry, you will not find an book to say this is wrong, because it is common sense! You can print this out for her, though!

Amen Gina!

Thanks girls for taking the time to reply to my original message. I didn`t mean to come off rude (for those of you that think that some people are being rude!) but if I`m going to give my opinion on here it`s going to be 100% honest and while I think some people (at times) lack tact I don`t think there`s any other way to say that my friend is being extremely tacky in requesting people pay money to attend her shower. I wanted to see what other people had to say on this because I intend to forward these responses to her before she embarrasses herself by sending out the shower invitations telling people that they must pay to attend. And while I agree that it is YOUR wedding and you can do what you want, I am also newly married and I believe that how you go about the planning of your wedding and shower says a lot about the kind of person you are. I think asking for money to attend your shower is classless and quite rude (especially if you still expect a gift!). Thanks again. And for those of you that commented on whether to attend or not, I for one won`t be attending the shower. And as of right now, I DOUBT that I will attend the wedding!

I would send a note declining with a I.O.U. For $25.00.
That is way RUDE.

I WOULD NOT attend. That is tacky and rude, you are already getting gifts from them and if the problem is hall cost then have it at some ones house. That is such bad form I can not begin to tell you my disgust on this

Oh and to top it all off, I found out that she was confronted about this (about charging people) and her response was, "It`s a CUBAN thing." Now while I understand that there are sometimes major cultural differences when it comes to acceptable customs, I don`t think this is one of them. However, I`m not Cuban so if any of you ladies are Cuban or of another hispanic heritage I would appreciate your comments on this. Is it really ACCEPTABLE in hispanic cultures to charge??

Well I don`t know about Cuban culture, but I am Mexican and I have NEVER heard of this before! When we have showers or partys, my family OFFERS to contribute something (food or decorations) to help out, but I have never heard of ANYONE charging!! That is to much!

According to most, if not all etiquette books, brides are never to give themselves bridal showers. Bridal showers are to be given by close friends (not even immediate family members) only. When you get the invitation respectfully decline.

Having recently been invited to a Cuban-Latin Bridal Shower, I was delighted that $25.00 included my full lunch at a very nice restaurant (with service attendance) as well as the shower gift. This is a cultural thing. At a traditional American Shower, I would have spent more and shopped registries. I thought it was a cool custom.

My goodness, you are going to get a book to prove your friend wrong? My opinion is if you don`t agree; humbly tell your friend why you are not planning to attend but wish her the best and you`ll be there for the wedding. It is her right to charge if she see`s fit. It`s her event.

If her friend wants to charge for people to attend a bridal shower, I guess she can do it. However, she may need to prepare herself for not having very many guests show up. I certainly would not attend this. There are a lot of other things I would rather do with my twenty-five dollars.

I am Cuban American and my family plans baby showers and bridal showers. They charge the most 20 dollars to attend these two types of parties. You`ll be impressed by how many people pay. If the people you invite really care they would pay. I myself do not think is appropriate to plan a party and expect people to pay. But, sorry to say alot of Cubans charge to come to their parites.

I found these posts very interesting. First of all I agree with one of the posts that we should be very careful about how we say things. Words like tacky are kind of hurtful. I am from Miami and I am Cuban, I personally do not charge for any parties I throw, but here in Miami it is a very common practice. Not only have I paid to go to bridal showers I have paid for baby showers. I have paid up to $25 plus I had to bring a gift. Now, is there something wrong with that? It depends. Some people cannot afford to throw a party. This way everyone chips in and has a good time. If you think its tacky and unacceptable, then you do not go. I go to more showers where I have to pay then not pay.

I know exactly what you are talking about.i was invited to a bridal shower in virginia.I live in baltimore,let alone i drove the two hours to get there then she only wanted something out of victoria secrets.anyway we get there eat our brunch and about ready to leave when we get a bill for the brunch we just ate.i was like what the hell,we thought that it was all paid for.Her maid of honor was like only the bride and wedding party was paid fro not the guest.I thought when you went to a bridal shower you did not have to pay for anything