Rehersal Dinner

Judy, many people will tell you that you should invite all the out-of-towners to the RD. I however disagree with that thought. I recently got married and my husband`s family/friends are all from out of town and we did not invite all of them to the RD. We invited: wedding party and their significant others, parents, grandparents, readers, greeters &sig others, personal attendants & sig others, ushers & sig others.

I personally don`t think it`s necessary, or expected, to invite all the out-of-towners. You will be celebrating with everyone the following evening at the wedding and reception.

I wouldn`t go so far as to say having out of towners has an effect on the enjoyment of the event. I`ve been an out of towner invited to rehearsal dinners and I`ve been a bride who invited out of towners to my rehearsal dinner. I can tell you that all of the dinners were quite enjoyable events.

However, even though it is a nice gesture it is by no means necessary or expected. Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is limited to bridal party & spouses, parents, grandparents, siblings & spouses. So it is perfectly acceptable to go this route without feeling any guilt or breach of etiquette.

If having out of town guests at the dinner is not affordable or too stressful, then simply don`t do it.

Thank you all for your input and support in making the right decision for the rehersal dinner for my Son. I spoke to his fiance and told her we had decided to stay with just the wedding party/spouses and immediate family members. She then sent me a list of the wedding party PLUS another 6 names that fits under the gategory of "House Party." Can you please tell me what a house party is? Thank you!

Other than she meaning that perhaps her , or her parents with host a house party following the dinner I have NO idea, never heard of it before. When you find out will you let us know?

The Bride informed me that a "House Party" includes the person serving the cake, the ones decorating, running last minute errands for her on the day of the wedding, picking up flowers, etc. I am with you...never heard of such a thing but my reply is going to be simple! If you want to thank your errand girls and cake cutter then buy them a gift! My husband and I are just about ready to tell them since they are being so persistant about the rehersal dinner to just do it and pay for it themselves!

Hey, I think this Bride is trying to pull a fast one on you. Sounds like she needs to understand that most of the "House Party" duties she claims her FAVORITE Friends will be doing are "hired help jobs" and if I was her "favorite Friends" I would be insulted to cut the cake since she didn`t think I was Favorite enough to stand in her bridal party..... I think she needs a quick tip from a bridal consultant..... Btw.. Where is her mother in all this.... I am sure SHE is embarrassed.

How come Bonnie`s posts conveniently disappear?

Who is Bonnie? I have not seen anything posted from her. As an update to all of you....I don`t think the bride is trying to pull a ``fast one" but I think consideration for us, as the Grooms` parents should come into play here. We all have "limits" and it`s time to be a bit more mature about this rehersal dinner issue. Afterall, the wedding and reception is going to be the FUN part! I have alotted and saved about $1200-$1300 for the rehersal dinner. I would hope that would be sufficient.

Bonnie is just someone who posted an answer in this thread and now it`s disappeared. I`ve noticed it`s not the first time for her posts to disappear, so I was wondering, that`s all.

Judy, you`ll just have to tell the bride and groom that this is what you are willing and able to provide. Hopefully they`re grateful for it. If not, there isn`t much more you can do other than to tell them you`re sorry they`ll have to make their own plans then.