Bridesmaid Drama
I am having an issue with my bridal party and I would like some advice from people who are totally on the outside. I have acousin who I asked to be in my wedding and she accepted. I told her from the beginning(since i knew she`d be getting engaged soon) not to feel obligated to put me in her wedding party. And she had stated anyway that it would just be immediate family(brothers,sisters,etc...) But about 3 weeks after she got engaged she asked me to be a bridesmaid. (this was just before christmas `03) We tried on dresses for her wedding, we did planning, I got measured and everything. About 4 days ago she writes me an email saying she is taking me out of the wedding. None of the resons she listed have anything to do with one another. ( Like, "some of my friends were mad they weren`t asked" and "i`m not sure if my brother will be in it so the parties will be uneven") Also, she stated that i am proccupied and don`t have time for her and that since i am planning my own and in other people`s weddings, I can`t afford hers. I called her and confronted her and she had nothing to say for herself. I asked her if this was just a way to say she didn`t want to be in my wedding, and again, she had nothing to say. I don`t want to be part of her wedding(as a bridesmaid) but my question is now, do I take her out of mine? I know it sounds petty but i`m just not sure I can look at her the same way and have the kind of relationship with her that I fell we as cousins, and bridesmaids should have. Thanks for any advice you give me.
KND
Posted by KND; updated 01/31/04
Reply
Wow, tough situation! I hope it all turns out ok for you.
If you are truly hurt by what she did and would feel uncomfortable on your wedding day by having her in you wedding party I`d ask her to bow out as a BM. However, if you are more mad than hurt then I`d wait a bit before you made your final decision. You may get over your anger and still want her there on your day.
It sounds as though you are hurt by her actions, and rightfully so, perhaps you should sit down with her in person and talk about your feelings more.
Also ask yourself this question.....in the future if you two patch things up will you regret not having had her in your wedding party for your wedding? If you think you may have regrets you may want to have her stay as a BM.
Good luck and I sincerely hope things turn out for you.
Posted by Kay; updated 01/31/04
Reply
Thanks Kay. Like I said, I called her right after i got her letter and had it out with her. She has not called me since. I am giving her about 2 weeeks to call me and explain herself, otherwise I;ve decided she is no longer a bridesmaid. I will invite her to the wedding, because if ever we do reconcile, I would probably have liked her to be there.
Posted by KND; updated 02/04/04
