Ring Barrer Dilemma
For our wedding, I am having my 9 yr old sister be the flower girl (I don`t really have any other little girls that I`m that close to). My thought for my ring barrer was to have my ten yr old brother. I thought it made more sense to have to age/size similar. I also really want them to be a part of our wedding since I am so close to them. The trick to this is, my brother isn`t completely convinced he wants to play THAT part (he`d rather stand with my fiance`) and my fiance` and his family thinks that his only nephew who is 2 should be the ring barrer. Since he`s an only child, never really around other kids and young, I`m afraid he won`t be ready, or won`t be able to handle it. He was just recently in his parents wedding and threw a huge fit and had to be removed from the church. I`m so stuck-what should I do? I don`t want to hurt anyone and I want them all to have a part. I also want my wedding to be nice and attention on us, not a screaming child.
Posted by Erica; updated 01/30/04
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I think that 10 is a little old for a ring bearer. If your brother obviously thinks it`s a little childish for him, let him be a junior usher, then he is still involved. There is no rule that says you even have to have a ring bearer. If you don`t want to have a 2 year old, then don`t, or have your little sister carry the rings. Or the best man.
Posted by Sarah; updated 01/31/04
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The reason my brother would prefer not to be the ring barrer is because he was one recently and it scared him. He`d much rather hide in with all the other guys and doesnt much want to walk with my sister. He doesnt feel it is childish, he is just playing the girls have cooties and im a bit shy game. My parents think I should make him be it anyway and that the 2 yr old is still too young but his family just thinks he`s cute and should be a part of the wedding. I just don`t know what else to have a two yr old do in a wedding.
Posted by Erica; updated 02/01/04
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I had the same problem... Here is what i did.
I didnt have a Ring bearer (boy) that was close to the age of my flower girl. So we decidied to have my neice who is 6 months older than my 5yr old flowergirl. The 2 walked together with 2 baskets, 1 basket with petels. The 2nd basket we made a pillow and placed it in the basket. With rings attached to it.
Hope this helps
Posted by barbi; updated 02/01/04
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If you decided to have the little `un (the 2 year old) as the ring bearer, you could always have him walk in holding hands with the flower girl. Or you could have someone (bridesmaid, groomsman, or flower girl) pull him in a cute decorated wagon.
Posted by jen; updated 02/01/04
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Thank you Jen and Barbi. Those are both wonderful ideas. I will run them past my fiance` and see what we can some up with. Thanks so much for trying to help. :-)
Posted by Erica; updated 02/01/04
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I have a similar problem. It is okay to just have a flower girl. It`s not as if the ring bearer has any other job to do than to look adorable. I agree, have your younger brother who`s 10 be a junior usher, and just have your sister walk down the aisle. If you force any of the children (or encourage strongly) you are just asking for disaster because they will be scared and won`t do it. Get the little one who`s 2 involved in just the picture taking etc. You say he made a sceen at his parents wedding, he`d probably do the same for your`s. Good luck!
Posted by CLL; updated 02/05/04
