Wishing Wells

There is no nice way to mention in your invitation what you want people to give you. The invitation is strictly about inviting people to be with you on your special day.

No nice way to put it at all - it is rude. Have the well and people will drop cards in - some will even contain money. BUT, you can not mention anything about gifts at all in an invitation, it is rude and presumptious. The invitations are strictly for inviting them to the wedding, the gift is their decision, not yours.

They are right, there is no nice way to request a gift let alone cash. We had a card collection box set up on our gift table without any mention of one. We received cards with checks in them from 95% of our guests, and very nice gifts from the other 5%. So for us it worked out perfectly without breaking any ediquette rules. Good Luck

I am also getting married in April, and my partner and I are also having a wishing well. I have read the other posts and feel that they are a little out dated. I have been to several weddings in the last few years and nearly all of them have had wishing wells and included a short poem in the invitation. This is not rude but a simple and easy way to explain to your guest that you are set up in life and do not need another toaster of kettle. A wishing well also saves the embarrasment of taking gifts back. There are heaps of poems to choose from. Just do a google search using words such as wedding poems, wishing wells ect. Good luck with it all and enjoy your big day.

There are also tons of Wedding Etiquette sites, I suggest you visit them first!

Anoushka, the advice given on this topic is not at all outdated. Just because you witness rude or tacky behavior doesn`t mean it`s suddenly become acceptable.

I found this post on the invitation message board..........I have heard of Couples printing this in the corner of their Wedding invitations. Such as Please honor our Presence at the wedding at The Wishing Well. Hope this Helps
I agree with the lady that wrote this....its sounds very nice. Good luck!

Please honor our presence at the wedding at the wishing well? Huh? The invitation is supposed to be about telling the guests you would be honored by THEIR presence. It`s not about honoring YOUR presence! If I ever got a wedding invitation asking me to honor the bride and groom`s presence, or an invitation asking me for gifts, I simply would not attend. I would be insulted!

Good manners and etiquette never become `outdated.` How presumptous of anyone to include mention of gifts/money in a wedding invitation.

There`s no good way to say "Please give us money" and I do understand why you would want to do it in the first place. However, if you don`t have a Registry anywhere,it will be understood that monetary gifts are what`s needed. The people who give you a toaster in spite of your lack of a Biridal registry are going to give you a toaster no matter what. Good luck!

HOPE THIS HELPS:
WE DON`T WANT YOU TO FUSS
OR WALK THE TOWN FOR US
WE`VE BEEN IN OUR HOUSE FOR A SOMETIME NOW
AND WE`D LLIKE TO BUY SOMETHING NEW
A GIFT OF CASH IN OUR WISHING WELL
WILL HELP OUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

This is a question for those of you who think that including a wishing well preference in the invitations is inappropriate. For your wedding, did you register? And if so, how is this any different? My fiance and I moved in together a year ago and found that we had two or more of everything. We honestly don`t want to go through that again. While searching for wishing well ideas, I came across an article on msn about unwanted wedding gifts and the amount of money wasted each year on these gifts. You should read it. As with everything else in life, we all must expect reactions just like yours from our own guests. It a choice and nothing else.....my choice to have a wishing well... And it has always been the guest`s choice to bring a gift, money, or just themselves. My intention is not to get rich but to avoid needless gifts.

The thing is, is that most of your guests are going to give you cash, because they know you well enough, and your bridal party, and family can tell people if they ask what you need or want. And you don`t come off as rude and self serving. You are inviting GUESTS to celebrate your special day. You cannot assume that they are going to give you gifts, though you know they will. Here in the midwest, 90% of guests will give you money. The registry is used for purchasing shower gifts, which is acceptable because the Bride does not host her own, and the whole concept of the shower is to "Shower the couple with gifts".

I have observed the comments posted on this page regarding this topic since I originally asked for advice. To those who used this page for it`s purpose (to help) I thank you. To those who used this page to post their opinions I thank you for offering a different view. To those who used this page to slander mine & my fiance`s opinion on this topic... I have nothing to say to you.

Bree - I wish you well in finalizing the logistics of your wedding. If you come across a "poem" or appropriate invitation wording, please forward the website, et. Al at your convenience. My bride to be and I have been performing an exhaustive search, and we are inclined to simply provide a definition of a "wishing well gift registry" following the conventional invitation wording. For those who would rather field phone calls pertaining to the gift registry in lieu of providing that informaiton in the invitation, I wish you well.

Do you have a wedding website? Why not include a short explanation there instead of having a link to a registry? That way you can avoid putting it in the invitation (which many clearly think is inappropriate) but still get the message out.