Money, Money, Money
Barb, I`m in your boat. My husband-to-be and I want this to be the first most special moment in our lives together... And with the help of our families, it`ll be great.
I have been living on my own now for almost 2 years and I really have everything I need as far as the tupperware and... Haha... Toasters. The wedding is being taken care of by my wonderful parents... But there is still our honeymoon. This is my only wedding and I want everything to be perfect... Including the honeymoon. Where Dan and I are both working really hard right now, there are still some financial gaps that could be filled by monetary gifts from friends and family... And GREATLY APPRECIATED!
So here is my suggestion. (My mom`s idea, really.) Buy a white mail-box and decorate it however suits your wedding theme but don`t make any indications that people are supposed to put money in it (because like all etiquette guides will say, it`s just not the place). Most people will have a card for you and your hubby that they will need to put somewhere and the mailbox is perfect... And inside the card, if you haven`t registered for much, will usually be money. Now, this is just a wedding reception idea. Money trees are really more appropriate in a less ostentatious area of a Jack and Jill Shower, so long as the shower is more on the casual side.
The best tool at your disposal, though, is and always will be word-of-mouth. (Just no way of getting around it) Your bridesmaids and other people close to you and your hubby-to-be will usually be the ones asked about where you`ve registered. Talk to them ahead of time and let them know to respond by saying that the best gift you can really think of is an easier start to your financial relationship with each other.
I hope I`ve been a little help. Like "SomeoneFamous" said, this is your day. Enjoy it and do what seems most appropriate for your situation.
Posted by Shelly; updated 01/22/04
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Imagine this conversation:
"So Jill, do you know what Jane would like for a wedding gift?"
"Excellent question! Unfortunately, Jane and I haven`t discussed it, but I really think they would like an easier start for their financial relationship with each other."
Uh yeah, that won`t sound rehearsed at all. Why don`t we leave the gift-giving to the guests and not send our family around dropping hints of cash blessings. There is no good way to do it. These cutesy money-trees and decorated mailboxes are tacky. Why don`t you just include a deposit slip with the invitations. It`s the same effect.
Posted by Fay; updated 01/22/04
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I am not sure if this is a good idea or not. We booked our honeymoon with a travel agency and they gave us business cards with information about what we are planning to do on our honeymoon, not all details but saying that we have decided to take a cruise and that if you don`t know what to get us you can put any amount on our honeymoon as a gift. I think its a good idea but why would anyone want to give me money 2 months before my wedding because that is when our cruise needs to be paid in full.
We really don`t need anything for our home but we don`t want our family and friends think they need to get us anything. It`s really hard to decide what to do when someone asks me what I want. Because I want to say nothing but then they look at me like I am crazy the few times I have said that so far.
Posted by Shelley Ann; updated 01/22/04
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No need to be so harsh, Fay... She asked for suggestions...
Posted by Shelly; updated 01/22/04
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Re: Money, Money, Money
We are having a jack n jill party. We have been together for 3 years and we don`t need anything. So we are having a fee party (jack n jill). And everyone i have talked to loves the idea. I actually got it from my soon to be sister in law. That is what they did and everyone loved it. You do whats best for you.
Most people if you are not registered anywhere will just give you the gift of money.
Good Luck.
Melissa
Posted by melissa; updated 02/05/04
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Fay, How sad that a forum for support presents a tool for you to be sarcastic---
We are getting married on Feb. 14, and have been very careful not to ask for money by registering, saying when asked that we really have all we need, etc..(We are both in our forties, and this is the first marriage for us both....)
However, I know few people who do not appreciate cold hard gifts of cash when they are graciously given. Someone tucked a 100 dollar bill in a card at our shower, and we immediately used it to purchase 2 flower girl dresses. Wedding expenses add up, no matter how frugal you are trying to be.
We are closing on our house 3 days before we get married, so we have expenses there, as well.
No, we will not ASK for money....BUT it does go with everything in our house! A friend is putting a money tree out at our reception...totally his idea....He said he wants to do that for us. HMMMMM????
Another thing we have done to help with expenses, which we had not planned on doing, was registering at Bed Bath and Beyond. We did know this at the time, but you can return anything purchased from your registry and get cash return. We are REALLY trying to stick to a budget (we are using a spreadsheet and recording all expenses, even!), and we returned about 150.00 worth of stuff, and are using that cash for our above budget expenses.
We have also received some Target and Wal Mart gift cards, neither of which we registered. However, we are going to use those for purchasiing disposeable cameras and film for a friend who will photograph our wedding.
Hope some of this info is helpful to you other budget brides....
Posted by Melinda; updated 02/06/04
