Bridal Shower Invites At A Restaraunt
I am throwing a couples shower for my sister at a restaraunt, at her request it will be a pay for your own food and beer, there will be dessert provided though. What is the best way to word the invitation so that it is not rude but this is clear. Thanks for any advice
Posted by amy; updated 01/20/04
Reply
Amy, is this an event that you are hosting for your sister? Or is your sister picking up the tab? I`m confused since you indicated that your sister wants the guests to pay for their own food and beer.
Here is an outline of proper etiquette for showers (take it or leave it, but this is what is proper...if you opt to go another way, then so be it....I`m simply providing you info on what is proper etiquette)
1. A bride should never host her own shower
2. It should be a friend or BM`s hosting the shower and not the sister of the bride or mother of the bride
3. It`s a hosted event, thus guests shouldn`t be expected to pay for their consumed items
If cost is an issue, perhaps someone could have the event at their home and make the food themselves. Just a suggestion.....
Good luck!
Here is an outline of proper etiquette for showers (take it or leave it, but this is what is proper...if you opt to go another way, then so be it....I`m simply providing you info on what is proper etiquette)
1. A bride should never host her own shower
2. It should be a friend or BM`s hosting the shower and not the sister of the bride or mother of the bride
3. It`s a hosted event, thus guests shouldn`t be expected to pay for their consumed items
If cost is an issue, perhaps someone could have the event at their home and make the food themselves. Just a suggestion.....
Good luck!
Posted by Kay; updated 02/15/04
Reply
I hate to tell you, but this is becoming a popular idea and among my friends we do not have a problem with this. It eliminates a few people from having to pay the bulk of the expenses to put on a nice shower and when your in the middle income bracket that is a nice thing. Someone who is offended can always just not come.Sorry if this doesn`t go along with your thoughts.
Posted by Paige; updated 03/10/04
Reply
You must live in a trailer park, right Paige?
Etiquette is what it is, it`s not one person`s thoughts, it`s society`s acceptable standard.
Etiquette is what it is, it`s not one person`s thoughts, it`s society`s acceptable standard.
Posted by Linda; updated 03/10/04
Reply
Linda:
Your comment to Paige
You must live in a trailer park, right Paige?
Etiquette is what it is, it`s not one person`s thoughts, it`s society`s acceptable standard.
That was not very nice and was uncalled for. Everyone who comes to this Forum has their right to express their comments and/or views as they see fit. Where they reside or what their income might be should not be an issue for you to insult them in such a way.
With today economy etc. I can understand why people try to make such an effort to save on cost for things. We should not judge them for making a choice to do so. Yes, it may not be tradition or standard, but some people may have to try other methods to make things happen. It is no different than a couple or person get things or items from vendors using the sponsor method. Let me tell you, I have seen many try this. They do get things at no cost to them. Think about it.
Your comment to Paige
You must live in a trailer park, right Paige?
Etiquette is what it is, it`s not one person`s thoughts, it`s society`s acceptable standard.
That was not very nice and was uncalled for. Everyone who comes to this Forum has their right to express their comments and/or views as they see fit. Where they reside or what their income might be should not be an issue for you to insult them in such a way.
With today economy etc. I can understand why people try to make such an effort to save on cost for things. We should not judge them for making a choice to do so. Yes, it may not be tradition or standard, but some people may have to try other methods to make things happen. It is no different than a couple or person get things or items from vendors using the sponsor method. Let me tell you, I have seen many try this. They do get things at no cost to them. Think about it.
Posted by Caring Person; updated 03/20/04
Reply
Ok, I thought abou it -- Yep, still rude and tacky. I was right the first time.
Posted by Linda; updated 03/26/04
Reply
Sorry, tacky old spinsters, but Paige is right. The idea that the host pays for everything is SOOOO 1950`s.
The last three showers I`ve been to have all been at very nice restaurants, where everyone pays for their own meal and dessert is provided. Like Paige said, if you don`t want to spend a lot, order something inexpensive or don`t come! It`s easy clean up, easy preparation, vegetarian-friendly, etc.
Ps-->fyi, i`ve never even been inside a trailor, but it takes one to know one!
The last three showers I`ve been to have all been at very nice restaurants, where everyone pays for their own meal and dessert is provided. Like Paige said, if you don`t want to spend a lot, order something inexpensive or don`t come! It`s easy clean up, easy preparation, vegetarian-friendly, etc.
Ps-->fyi, i`ve never even been inside a trailor, but it takes one to know one!
Posted by sexinthecitygirl; updated 03/27/04
Reply
Nope, Paige is wrong and so are you. Check any etiquette book and you`ll see I`m right.
Me right - you wrong.
Me right - you wrong.
Posted by Linda; updated 03/27/04
Reply
Etiquette=(noun) the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life
ENOUGH SAID......
ENOUGH SAID......
Posted by RecentBride; updated 03/27/04
Reply
Hi, I just wanted to update and say that we had the shower mid-afternoon at Dave and Busters and it went perfect. Nobody had any problems paying for their own drinks and everbody had a blast. We provided cake and cookie favors. It certainly did not come off as a trailer park shower, I promise. Everybody commented on how elegant it turned out. Sometimes I think people need to decide if etiquette or caring for someone and wanting to do something for them even if funds are not unlimited is more important.
To clarify, the bride was not wanting to host her own shower, I just got some input from her so that it could be something that she would enjoy.
To clarify, the bride was not wanting to host her own shower, I just got some input from her so that it could be something that she would enjoy.
Posted by Amy (host); updated 03/28/04
Reply
Our shower has also come and gone. We had invited 30 people and out of that number 26 attended. A great number of the attendees expressed what a great time they had and commented how wonderful the shower was. We went to a lovely restaurant and no one seemed to have any problem paying for their own meal. We did provide cake and drink. It really was nice and of course, the bride`s meal was paid for by the host.
Posted by Paige; updated 03/29/04
Reply
The reality is there was "the meeting after the party" where everyone talked about having to pay for their own meal, etc. Do you really believe anyone would say anything negative to those `hosting` (and I use that term loosely) the shower? No, of course not, everyone puts on their happy faces and says nicey things. Then afterwards is when people talk.
Posted by Maddie; updated 03/29/04
Reply
Maddie,
I will admit I do agree with you to some degree. However, I guess we could beat this dead horse until who knows when. It just comes down to how each individual feels about the situation. Like I said before, we are middle income, and now I will add, I have 5 children who are counting on me to feed them and just because of those circumstances, I didn`t want to be unable to shower my dear friend with something special. I still think the idea is fine and I still say we had a great time. Thanks for your input.
I will admit I do agree with you to some degree. However, I guess we could beat this dead horse until who knows when. It just comes down to how each individual feels about the situation. Like I said before, we are middle income, and now I will add, I have 5 children who are counting on me to feed them and just because of those circumstances, I didn`t want to be unable to shower my dear friend with something special. I still think the idea is fine and I still say we had a great time. Thanks for your input.
Posted by Paige; updated 03/30/04
Reply
I just came upon this thread, because I am looking for polite ways to word an invitation that makes it clear that guests will be paying for their own meal. It looks as though you discussed whether this was appropriate ettiquette, but noone actually offered any wording suggestions. Without telling me that this is improper ettiquette, would anyone be able to provide some wording options?
Thank you!
Thank you!
Posted by Adrianne; updated 04/14/04
Reply
What we ended up doing was having the shower at 2 and the wording was we would like to invite you to celebrate the upcoming wedding of so and so with dessert and a chance to stock the kitchen of our friends and then their names. Hope this helps
Posted by Amy; updated 04/14/04
Reply
Ok, everybody is so "up" on etiquette right? Well, let us sit back and think of where all these etiquette rules and standards came from. One person started something that everybody thought was a good idea.
Since a number of people thought this was a good idea it was vast majority that this became a "law" so to say.
Times have changed and are continuing to change, that is what life is all about. So who says that people cannot change etiquette to a degree. Make some new "laws". If so many people are agreeing that these things are becoming more acceptable, then again, vast majority should rule.
I am no expert and I do not feel that everything is either right or wrong but after reading post after post of the same thing there has to be some kind of happy medium about stuff.
Shall we write Emily Post or Miss Manners and find out for sure who is right and who is wrong? Or shall everybody sit and continue to insult each other over something that DOES NOT effect them?
Since a number of people thought this was a good idea it was vast majority that this became a "law" so to say.
Times have changed and are continuing to change, that is what life is all about. So who says that people cannot change etiquette to a degree. Make some new "laws". If so many people are agreeing that these things are becoming more acceptable, then again, vast majority should rule.
I am no expert and I do not feel that everything is either right or wrong but after reading post after post of the same thing there has to be some kind of happy medium about stuff.
Shall we write Emily Post or Miss Manners and find out for sure who is right and who is wrong? Or shall everybody sit and continue to insult each other over something that DOES NOT effect them?
Posted by wondering; updated 04/15/04
Reply
Adrienne,
Here is the wording I used. It did pose a challenge for me to come up with something. Here goes.
Please join us as we shower (bride`s name) with gifts and fellowship over dinner.
Then I listed the location date and time. Then . .
Those attending my choose to pay individually or come just for fellowship.
Because I was not paying for everyone I never referred to myself as a host, however I did purchase a cake and paid for the bride`s meal.
Paige
Here is the wording I used. It did pose a challenge for me to come up with something. Here goes.
Please join us as we shower (bride`s name) with gifts and fellowship over dinner.
Then I listed the location date and time. Then . .
Those attending my choose to pay individually or come just for fellowship.
Because I was not paying for everyone I never referred to myself as a host, however I did purchase a cake and paid for the bride`s meal.
Paige
Posted by Paige; updated 04/17/04
