I Do Not Want A Bachelor Party
Hello, I just got proposed to on Friday (Nov. 2) and said yes. I have always been a bit scared of getting married, but I have found the perfect guy and know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We have known each other for five years, been a couple for a little over a year, and been living together for about six months now.
My first question is, how unproper is it to not have bachelor/bachelorette parties? And how do you politely, but sternly make that known? We have both agreed wholeheartedly that we do not want them. We are actually saving ourselves for each other (including nudity/seeing nudity). I have also heard that a lot of people never make it to their wedding because of arguments after the parties that can leave emotional scars. To me, a bachelor or bachelorette party is like Temptation Island. Why risk it? I am very trusting of my guy and am not worried about him cheating or anything, but do I really want him to remember his last single night as "one of the best nights of his life". Is that not what a marriage is for? I do not want him to associate being without me with hot naked women. And the same the other way around. I would feel ashamed seeing naked men. I read a post where someone said she kept wondering who was the stripper when her friends took her out. To me, personally, I can not imagine that. Imagining someone other than my guy naked is sad to me. It makes me feel sick inside. There any many other reasons involved, also.
Sorry for posting this twice, but I felt my first subject was not letting everyone answer.
Posted by Melissa; updated 01/15/04
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I know I am going to get it for stating my opionion here but, I feel the need. I am a bride to be and I am getting married March 2004. This is my second marriage and in my first marriage I had no bachelor or ette parties. This marriage I am. He can have a stripper if he wants and vice versa. My thing is TRUST which is one of the foundations a marriage should be built on. I trust him wholeheartedly. I am very secure with myself and my relationship. Perhaps alot of the women who have "issues" with these parties arent to secure with their relationships?! I think alot of people put way to much enphasis on these parties. So what your man sees a naked woman. Are you with him 24-7 making sure he never looks at a nudie mag or a bad video? I doubt it. As for cheating.. Well I suppose it could be a forum where that could and has happened but, if it happened at his party it would have been only a matter of time before he found "another" forum to cheat. Good luck in all your marriages! ;)
Posted by March bride; updated 01/15/04
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If you are both really virgins, and you are that uptight about it, then it makes sense to not have a party.
BUT it begs the questions (especially if you are over 20), R U really sure he saved himself for you?
Posted by MArk; updated 01/15/04
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If you are concerned about the members of your bridal party pressuring you two into the party thing i wouldn`t worry too much.. They are your friends and if they care about and respect you, and for that matter , if they know you even in the slightest, they will respect your decision. Because it is just that: your decision, which need not be justified to anyone. As for the previous statement about your future husband, i should think that you alos know him better than to doubt him: if you`ve been together for a while, i`m sure you would have had hints of who he really is by now.
Good luck
Posted by stacey; updated 02/28/04
