My Brother And Sister Are NOT INVITED

If the attitude SLYVIA has is a family trait, I wouldn`t invite any of them. Obviously, learning to be judicious, compromising, and gracious is not your strong suits. Fine, don`t invite them. I can`t stand my sister, who is seriously prone to outbreaks, but she`s smart enough to be civil at a family event like that.

Now, maybe you come from a family that can`t control themselves. Or can`t listen to the other side. Or enjoy getting into shouting matches without consideration of the scene they are causing. I wonder where they get it from.

WELL EVELYN .......pms or what!!!!! I really regret posting anything about this now....because all I have gotten is a bunch of crabby old bi*** reply. It sounds to me like YOU have some kind of problem and you may want to seek some proffessional help for your little condition, that one day may cause you some more trouble. I posted this message on here, to see if anyone else was in a similar situation, not to get judged for a decision that both my fiance and I made. We have our reasons for this, and everyone seems to be forgetting that it is OUR day, and we can invite who the *(&# we want to our wedding. Maybe if you knew the real situations, you would come to the same conclusions that we did. Thankyou for your lovely post, and may i sudjest you not post if you have nothing supportive to say, or if you have an opinion find a nicer way of saying it. Have a lovely day.

Sylvia, seriously.... You sure can dish it but you cant take it! I know YOU have posted some rude things before.... What did you expect? I dont know why you posted it, you surely have made up your mind, so you arent looking for advise or anything! If you are just looking for someone in the same situation, QUIT BEING SO NOSY! not everyone cares to share their life story!

Oh gosh, I`m so sorry, I change my response. You DO sound like a really level headed person that made your decision to exclude people based on valid, well thought out reasons. Looking back at your posts, I don`t know what I was thinking, it in no way sounds like you`re being selfish or using your wedding as a stage to flaunt your righteousness in excluding people. You`re totally right, you must have made the decision for a good reason.

And I was mistaken, you were just looking for other people who are excluding people, too, so you could feel like you`re not the only one out there. And because most people would take the occasion to be civil so it`s a wonderful day not a catfight, maybe that`s why you haven`t got the stroking you begged for, but a flogging.

Eveyln... Are you serious? She wants a pity party! If you want to join her thats fine! BLah BLah BLah!!! =)
Best of luck to ALL!!!

OMG- I was being sarcastic. I was doing what I like to call the ol` "Nod and Smile."

Ok, good! Sometimes I cant tell the typing "tone"! You worried me for a second! =)

I am trying to figure out if the rift is between your siblings and your parents, because if it is, then that is between them.
You said you feel bad ,so you must be having second thoughts about not sending them an invitation. It is not your job at the wedding to be a referee, you simply invite them and let whomever come that wants to after all it is you and your new husbands day and if they cannot see past that and act like grown-ups, then shame on them. Besides you could be creating a bigger rift between you and your family members for the rest of your lives. Other than that i guess that is why people elope!! good luck

Sylvia,

I personally would not have done what you did.
My parents are divorced and don`t really get along but for family functions they to feud.
This is your day and if your family can`t get along for the sake of your happy day, then i don`t know.
But i agree not inviting them probably will make more of a feud between your family.
But in the end the choice is yours.
Good luck and hope all goes well

Melissa

FOR FAMILY FUNCTIONS THEY DO NOT FEUD. NOT THEY DO. BOY I CAN`T TYPE. LOLOL


Melissa

Silvia i think you should keep them away my partners daughter is comming to mine and im going to jamacia we only booked it so far from home so they wouldnt come and no fight we are from scotland and now she is on the same plane for ten LONG LONG hours with me and she taking 5 friends with her without asking she is 26 and a lot spoilt i wish she wasnt going and if i could afford to change destinations i would without a dought so dont let anyone spoil ur day it only comes once for you , good luck cher xx

I DO have a similar situation, except my groom doesn`t want to invite is mother. His mother has gone behind his back and spoken ill of both him and me to his three year old son for the last two years and has encouraged his son`s mother to try and withhold visitation. We have talked about it a lot and have decided that if my groom`s mother cannot apologize to us by the day we mail out invitiations, she will not get one. It breaks our hearts to do this, but it`s either exclude her and have no worries about the wedding or invite her and risk the possibilty of her bringing my soon-to-be stepson`s mother as her guest or the possibility of her standing up in the middle of the wedding or reception to cause a scene. I can understand that you are trying to keep your day happy and without problems. I wish you the best of luck in your decision.

Thankyou to all with similar situations,,for your input....yes our wedding is now a week away, and my fiance and I both agreed that we would not invite them...because there is such tension between everyone that we feel that it wouldn`t matter to them whether or not it was our day or not. They are stubborn, and my sister is just unbearable. We have made the final decision not to have them. We don`t want to spend the day worrying at what point something is going to be said or done. We also came to the conclusion on this, also due to the fact we were all not invited to their weddings. Thankyou to all who donated valueable information on this.

Good luck at your wedding i can understand how you are feeling im not inviting any of my family becuase none of them get along and im not going to play favorites. Its sad but its your day and your decishion

My fiance`s father left them when he was two. He barely knows the guy, he has been described to me as a decent man, but a horrible father, horrible with kids. Out of courtesy, because his mother is an amazing soul, we have invited his father. No word on whether he will come, but a wedding is celebratory. And using it to disclude people is waging an act of family war, that unless it`s warranted, is just asking for trouble. As for the woman on the plane with her partner`s daughter that she doesn`t like, I think it is always something you should discuss with your spouse-to-be.

You should feel guilty, you are selfish and self-centered. You are more worried about yourself than those people who you love and have been there for you.

No -- you don`t know for sure that there will be a disruption caused by your siblings. You can`t see into the future. Anyways, who cares if there is some sort of disruption -- at least it`s the people in your life that you love causing the disruption. I`d rather have my brother and sister AT my wedding, causing a disruption than to have to live the rest of my life knowing that they weren`t with me on the most important day of my life.

You are the epitome of selfish.

Wow im sooo sick of these people coming on these boards bashing people and then they dont put their names! im sick of seeing people bash other people period!First of all there are LOTS of reasons people don`t want to invite so called family.Reasons people arn`t going to list here.Family is the first to screw you!Especially if you come from a screwed up family!Selfish?Nameless(coward) called that girl selfish?Selfish is the family members who can`t keep theyr`e big mouths shut for one day! Selfish is the "family" who needs to make a scene,not caring about their so called "loved ones" on their most important day,let alone the hours and thousands into it!Where does it say it is in good taste to invite people who make you miserable? Or people who puposely do things to ruin your day?I say it`s in bad taste!You know what? I don`t care if it`s your MOTHER that you are NOT going to invite!If they are going to cause heartache,trouble or ruin it then do NOT invite them.You`ll be sending a message loud and clear, this is the fist day of your new lives TOGETHER,not with a brother,sister,friend and so on.It will be you and him,if they can`t support your wishes for ONE day thats supposed to be a happy one, then what good are they going to be down the road when you need them during unhappy times!?So to everyone bashing people when all they want is support,save it,its obvious these people are already getting it from the people who should be the one`s giving their support,their "loved ones",they don`t need it from you too.

Amen, Stacy!

Wow!! either planning weddings is really really stressful or there is some really angry people out there!

Suzan

Looks like all Nameless was saying was to it up, and not make a wedding a place for widening gaps.

It is also a joyful time, not the time to be cooking up ways to out manuever your family.

And however bad the family is, she could have said "there are family rifts so deep, a wedding cannot solve them."

But instead, she made it sound like "ha ha, I got one and you don`t, nyah nyah" That kind of attitude is just BEGGING for a flambé.

There are family rifts that are too big, but if you realize you are singling people out, you are no better than the problem itself. It will be your big, beautiful day. Enlist a maid of honor or someone to be a buffer between you and someone that worries you, talk to your mother, whoever, and ask that they not cause a scene. Send them a personal note that you want them to be there to celebrate your day- and to put aside differences.

But don`t come to a public posting site, ill equiped to deal with the fact that you sound selfish, immature, and two-faced. Don`t come to a public site asking for advice when you want to be stroked about behaving badly. You will get pros and cons. You will have to sift through them. If your reasons for making decisions is based on the right heartfelt decision, then I would expect her response to say "no, you don`t understand." but instead, she wigged out because people JUDGED her which tells me she knows she`s in the wrong.

If you don`t want your decisions judged, then don`t put them out there. Seek advice, not s ups.

She COULD have said it another way. She didn`t.