Giving Me Away

I`ve had brides do it many different ways. I had a bride that was 72, with no living parents or siblings. It was a very lovely wedding where the bride and groom walked up the aisle together.

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I am 38, 2nd marriage, no father to walk me and need to find a song for us to walk down together.
It is in a church but very informal. HELP!!

Stephanie,

What kind of music do you both like? What is your story? (how you met, obstacles overcome, things like that...) I have a huge list of songs. I bet one of them fits your life!

(My favorite one of all time is a country song...
Love of my life by Sammy Kershaw ..)

Stephanie Fudge,

My fiance and I are looking for a song for us to dance to at our reception and we are having a hard time finding anything that we truly like. We are not really into country, but were leaning towards Shania Twain`s song "From This Moment" simply because the lyrics are so close to what we feel. Do you know of any other songs that are similar, but not country?

Kelly-
You can walk down by yourself and when the minister asks --Who gives this bride, your dad can just say because he is officiating- I give this bride.

It will be different and lovely.

Hey Kelly,
Have a great wedding. Having your dad perform the ceremony will be great!
Got a question for you. See my fiancee is 43 and this is his {and my} first wedding. I did not even want to get married until he asked me. How are you handeling the hole thing? Are you have panic attacks or just loving it? My fiancee seem`s happy .. But a little nervous.

Cobchic...

You might find something you like on this list...I adore each one of these songs for a different reason. Think back to special moments in your lives to find the perfect song. (: I hope this helps!

I only have eyes for you...The Flamingos
Someone Like You....Van Morrison
(these two because I would watch my parents dance in the living room to these songs. To me, they are pure romance.)

For My Wedding....Don Henley
Your Love Amazes Me...John Berry (gives me goosebumps!)
All I Want is You....U2
I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You...Savage Garden
Angel Eyes...Jeff Healy Band (looove this song!)
Don`t Wanna Miss A Thing...Aerosmith
Heaven...Bryan Adams
Come Away With Me...Nora Jones
Love of a Lifetime...Firehouse
It`s Your Love...Tim McGraw/Faith Hill

But, my all time favorite is Love of My Life by Sammy Kershaw. Look up the lyrics to it...you will melt!

Stephanie Fudge...you must be a child of the 80`s! (haha me, too!)

Hi Kelly,
I have heard of the bride walking herself down the asile and the groom meeting her half way to symbolize walking together into a new life.
Good luck
Sandie

I love that idea Sandie. If I didn`t have my father around thats what I would do. I might do that if my father isn`t able to walk, he has a bad foot. But we will see I have a year to see what happens.

That is a beautiful idea---I can just picture it in my head.

Thanks for the suggestions....they were good! I was afraid of breaking some "etiquette" but see now that pretty much you can customize with freedom.
Belle: My main advice is just ENJOY it! I didn`t want to stress about wedding planning, so that`s why we`ve decided on a small, garden affair Memorial Day weekend to kick off the summer. Grilling out and time to just visit with friends and relatives. I`m thinking of it more as a Memorial Day Picnic, and we just so happen to be exchanging vows (don`t get me wrong, I am taking the ceremony very seriously, but enjoying it!)
Best of luck with your plans (and yes, I do get a little nervous sometimes: after all these years, I`m not going to be able to do things MY way all the time anymore. Ha.)

Kelly,
This is something that you really can do how ever you choose. Are you close to your Mom? She could walk you also, I see this all the time now(though usually because their Mom`s raised them alone) but being your Dad will be on up at the alter, you could also do this.

Hey, this may come off as hostile, but it`s not intended as an insult to anyone, i`m just hostile to certain traditions that are very anti-woman. I understand that women come from all different backgrounds and degrees of traditionality and whatnot, but most of us agree that as women, we are not anyone`s property to be given away. You give away gifts at christmas, not people. As an attorney, I am quite well versed in the history of the law. It might be something that you were all unaware of, but up until about 50 years ago, a woman was the legal property of her father until she was married. Then she became the legal property of her husband. Because the woman was owned, she was not allowed to own her own land, buisness, or property, and it was far more acceptable for her to be abused. She could not make a contract, vote, or get a job without permission. Decisions that we make in our lives nowdays that we take for granted are decisions our foremothers were not allowed. The tradition of being given away is a carry over of the original act of a father transfering posession of a woman to her new owner. I find this tradition sickening, and would note that even if one includes one`s mother in the process of being given away, you are still being given to a man, and i would like to think that most of you are contrary to that notion. I am a proud and strong woman who chooses to walk confidently down the aisle myself. I would encourage others to do the same, and not to include in any way the officant`s question "who gives this woman to be married." It`s insulting. Rather, I think it shows a lot of love for one`s father to share a special dance, or to make a special toast at the wedding. This is a good way of honoring that man you love while still maintaining your dignity. To the woman posing the question, this is just another reason why you shouldn`t feel bound by the norm. Often, the norm is misunderstood, and carried out without full knowledge of it`s implication. There is no need to explain to anyone why you choose to do things this way, meaning; you need not make a social statement out of your lovely wedding. You have the right to do things however you want, and not being given away is a great place to start.

Hey, this may come off as hostile, but it`s not intended as an insult to anyone, i`m just hostile to certain traditions that are very anti-woman. I understand that women come from all different backgrounds and degrees of traditionality and whatnot, but most of us agree that as women, we are not anyone`s property to be given away. You give away gifts at christmas, not people. As an attorney, I am quite well versed in the history of the law. It might be something that you were all unaware of, but up until about 50 years ago, a woman was the legal property of her father until she was married. Then she became the legal property of her husband. Because the woman was owned, she was not allowed to own her own land, buisness, or property, and it was far more acceptable for her to be abused. She could not make a contract, vote, or get a job without permission. Decisions that we make in our lives nowdays that we take for granted are decisions our foremothers were not allowed. The tradition of being given away is a carry over of the original act of a father transfering posession of a woman to her new owner. I find this tradition sickening, and would note that even if one includes one`s mother in the process of being given away, you are still being given to a man, and i would like to think that most of you are contrary to that notion. I am a proud and strong woman who chooses to walk confidently down the aisle myself. I would encourage others to do the same, and not to include in any way the officant`s question "who gives this woman to be married." It`s insulting. Rather, I think it shows a lot of love for one`s father to share a special dance, or to make a special toast at the wedding. This is a good way of honoring that man you love while still maintaining your dignity. To the woman posing the question, this is just another reason why you shouldn`t feel bound by the norm. Often, the norm is misunderstood, and carried out without full knowledge of it`s implication. There is no need to explain to anyone why you choose to do things this way, meaning; you need not make a social statement out of your lovely wedding. You have the right to do things however you want, and not being given away is a great place to start.

I too, am an independant, educated woman, but one that was very proud to have my Dad by my side as I walked down the aisle. My parents have been by my side supporting and encouraging me my entire life, and I would not have miss the chance for him to do it once again. I said it before it is entirely up to the individual. I did it and am glad I did, my favorite picture is one of my Dad smiling from ear to ear as we walked down that aisle!

I agree with ames that the history behind giving the woman away at a wedding is very degrading and extremely outdated (as is saying `I now pronounce you man and wife, and changing names...but that`s another post!). We will getting married later in the year and we will be having an outdoor ceremony. We have decided that my partner and I will walk to the ceremony together with our parents (we are staying near the park). During the ceremony the celebrant will ask my partner`s parents if they give their `blessing` to the marriage, and then she will ask my parents the same (though we are trying not to be religious!). This way we acknowledge the importance of BOTH sets of parents in bringing us to this day, and not continuing a strange tradition of ownership of women by men (which I can`t understand any woman would want to continue to reinforce).

Cobchic, my favorite song for weddings is Here and Now by Luther Vandross. It is a fabulous wedding song and love sone

I am having my two sons walk me half way down the aisle, turning me over to my dad, who will then give me to the father of the first two most important men in my life. Our boys will then stand up front with their father.

Ames I just wanted to say that while I do not like the idea of being property I am including in my ceromony "giving the bride away" but we are changing the words to who presents this woman. That way my dad who has been a very important person in my life is still part of the wedding but i am not left feeling like property of people. Just a thought for others who think the same way I do on the subject but do not want to leave their father out of the wedding.

I`m having my Son walk me down the aisle too like Brandy, he is 12 years old. Both my Father and Mother have passed away. I think it will be nice for my son to walk me down the aisle, it will make him feel really important and special on the day. I can understand the views of ames and mp but you know what, life is too short to be worrying about what happened x amount of years ago, we should just be proud that times have changed and get over it, we are living in the here and now and right now we all have choices. I can appreciate what ames has to say because all of that history is a real eye opener for me, she has educated me on something I can honestly say I didn`t know about, however what happened back in the day is not going to stop me from planning my wedding how I want. I say do whatever will make you happy kelly and don`t worry about what happened 50 odd years ago. Live life be happy, don`t live in the past, its good to acknowledge what happened in the past so we can undertand our future but its time now to Move On do what is going to make yourself and family happy.