Argument With Groom`s Mother
My fiance`s parents are planning and paying for the rehearsal dinner. His mother called me to make sure we had everyone on the list that needed to be invited. I told her I`d like my neice and nephew there. I really wanted them to be part of the wedding, but my fiance` didn`t want kids in the wedding. I agreed to that, but I expected them to be a part of everything else. Anyhow... His mother said this is her party that she`s giving for us, and I have nerve asking her if these 2 children can go. It`s not like they`ll be running around like crazy, they`re 10 and 12 yrs old. I told her we would pay for the entire dinner if that`s the way she was going to be. But she said that`s like her asking us to invite her friends to the wedding. We`re paying for the wedding, so she said she`d never do that. Although we invited 4 of her friends and spouses. She said no, this is her party and it will go her way. I explained that this is my wedding and it should go my way. We offered to pay for the children`s dinner, etc... She still said no. Now 7 of my family members refuse to attend the dinner and I won`t feel comfortable there. What to do? What to do?
Posted by Hurt N Confused; updated 01/03/04
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The rehearsal dinner is usually for people in the wedding party, though it can vary. You may be better off to help these 2 children feel special by giving them a job to do the day of the wedding. Could they oversee the guest book, or have a similar responsibility?
Posted by Karen; updated 01/04/04
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Hey,
Truly sorry to hear of your dilemma, & fully understand it. But your more significant problem has little to do w/ who`s invited to what: you & your future MIL are essentially fighting over "control" issues, & that suggests some deeper worry that needs to surface at some point. What is really going on here?
It`s late, & I`m growing too tired to continue. But w/ a family history of such wranglings that continued into the future w/o ever being addressed or solved, I do have suggestions that *might* help a bit. If interested, please email me
Good luck,
Bon
Posted by Bonnie; updated 01/05/04
