Who Pays For Wedding Dad Or Step Dad
My daughter is getting married and her real dad has never helped with anything car, graduation etc. Her step dad on the other hand has done it all. She is now getting married and her boyfriend called her real dad the day he asked for her hand. So my question is who pays for the wedding. Me and her step dad went and got her dress last weekend. What should we do? anyone
Posted by cheryl; updated 01/02/04
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Do what your heart tells you is right? Do not make your daughters big day a year of worry. She does not need for her parents to be fighting over who pays for what. Tell her what you can afford to pay. Then she can go to her dad and see what he can do also.
Don`t start a fight with her real dad if he hasn`t been there in the past. You know he probably won`t be there now. So you and your husband need to be there and support your daughter and future husband. You need to help them however you can and ease any tension that you can. Try not to start any in the process. The next year or however long the engagement is will be one of the most stressful yet happiest times in your daughters life. Embrace it and love her. She will need it.
Posted by helping; updated 01/02/04
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Wow! -- I think "helping" said it all in the previous post. It`s one of the best pieces of advice I`ve ever seen posted anywhere ...
With best regards,
Bonnie
Posted by Bonnie; updated 01/03/04
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Whoever wants to pay pays. You can`t force him to pay. You can ask ohim r your daughter can ask him, but no one has any obligation to pay. It would be nice if he did, but... You never know.
By the way, why does it have to be either an either/or situation with both the dads? Why can`t both contribute if they want?
Posted by Kerry; updated 01/03/04
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Cheryl,
I gather this is not really about the money but who walks your daughter down the aisle. If you pay for the wedding then you may feel that her step father has the right but if her father pays you may feel that he will have the right even though your husband has been there when her father has not been.
I agree with helping, be there for her now and don`t try and make her decisions for her. Let her know that you will be there to support her no matter what.
My brother and his wife when her daughter married shared expenses with her ex but when it came time to walk her down the aisle my brother stepped aside even though he had raised the bride.He did not want to upset her day.
This is only one day out of the rest of your daughter`s life make it a blessed one of love and charity of spirit.
Posted by Deb; updated 01/03/04
