Young Bride To Be..How To Deal With Critics?

From your post, it sounds as if you guys are very sure of your commitment to each other. My sincerest congratulations!

I`ve recently learned of a similarly young relationship resulting in a marriage w/ the bride only 15 at the time; the couple is still happily together, now w/ grandchildren.

I wish I could offer specific advice re your families` negative reactions, but can`t. Except to mention that what you`ve said is the perfect response to their arguments. If you can find a venue for sitting each dissenting party down at different times (?), & just calmly presenting that reality of your relationship to these guys. No arguments ... Just the facts....

And then asking them to support your relationship: isn`t that what *they* would have wanted, when they were engaged? Etc.?

Good luck, & please feel free to write me personally at: bonnie-mbds5853@mailblocks.com

Bonnie

One thing to add, it seems like he is going on with his education and furthering himself, while you didn`t mention anything about your education. PLEASE do yourself a huge favor and continue your education, even if all you do is take 1 class a semester at a community college. Time flies, and before you know it, you will have a degree in your hand.

No one knows what the future will bring. Not that you guys will get divorced or anything, but what if he gets laid off in the future or can`t find a job. With a degree in ur hand, you will be able to land a better paying job and help out more....

Bye

I am in the exact same position as you. Me and my FH are 20, and will be 21 when we marry. Luckily we have a lot of family support, but there are always people who aren`t as supportive.

More education earns more respect from those relentless people. I decided to take a break off school this semmester to plan the wedding and concentrate on my work full time. At first everyone was really against it, but when I explained my plan on getting a pell grant to continue school after we are married (I have about two and a half years to go). It is much much easier to get a pell grant as a young married couple with little money. Without our well-off parents making us appear as dependents anymore, we will be able to get this grant. Everyone has seemed to respect my decision to lay of the load more when they realize that I would like to continue school. But remember, it is not about everyone else, this is what you want to do, and you didn`t ask about education...

Here is a way to handle the "why don`t you spend some years getting drunk at the bars and sleeping with man whores until you are crawling with at least six varieties of STDs before you settle down?" remark that I have found very effective: tell them you will grow together, go through the younger days together. It will be good to have somebody to depend on. Explain to them that there is no reason for you to lose a perfectly good thing to mess around with some other jerk, so you can realize you lost a perfectly good thing. Other people want you to go through this lesson so you can be like the millions of others with the "one that got away."

I would also recommend birth control if you haven`t already, but also have a nest egg for whatever might happen.

Oh yes, and premarital counseling (often available through churches) is a must. The reason I recommend this is that even after four years of dating me and my fh were asked questions that had us stumped. It is important to concentrate on the marriage you will have over planning and what fine china you will pick out on your gift registry... It will also boost your ego about how well adjusted of a couple you are, and reinforce in your minds why you have decided to marry.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice! i forgot to mention my college plans.. I was taking a year off after graduating high school to save up money..to have something to fall back on and to save for wedding/college expenses. I AM going to college--2 years at a community college then transferring to a university. Majoring in either English or library science stuff. Sorry, I should have made that clear from the beginning

I was in the same boat as you are right now. I got married when I was 18, now 20. My husband is eight years older then me. I love him with all my heart, even after a year and half of marriage. I had a lot of critism about my marriage. Most of my teachers and friends from school did not understand me. I come from a very conservative family. I did not have sex prior to my wedding day, and trust me no partying either. Right now I attened a college, this semester I`m going to take 18 credits (Yikes), and also working full time. My received his real estate license so now we are waiting for his big break. He is also a musician. I love being married, and when I talk to some of my friends now that were against it, they are suprised how far I have come along being married. They too thought that I would end up being a married little hillbilly and I`ll be popping out children every year. However they are just now seeing that they were wrong. My advice is to take each day at time, enjoy your time with him, enjoy planning the wedding. And when people do try to critize you try to explain exactly what you wrote on the post. I can`t imagine how people sleep around with a countless and countless of men, and then at 30 decide to get married, and then at 40 decide to have kids. That`s crazy. No offence to anyone that fall under that catogory, but I`d like to spend my life knowing that someone loves me and cares about me. I`d like to still see when our children graduate and get married.( in the future when we do have children). Best of Luck.