Im Not The Maid Of Honor?
My sister told me that i was going to be a bridesmaid in the wedding and that her friend was going to be the maid of honor..i was realy sad and that night i cried....she told me that i had to be 18 in order to sign a contract..i was soo mad that i actually looked everything up...i found out that you can have more than 1 maid of honor and your maid of honor doesnt have to sign a contract it should be your grandmother(it actually said that)...i really want to tell my sister how i feel but i dont want to hurt her feelings...she is so happy...how can i tell her?
Posted by tracy; updated 12/19/03
Reply
Honestly, you have to respect your sisters decision. It is her wedding and if that is the wway she wants it, then that is how it should be. Besides she is happy! I think the best thing to do is to bite it and try and be happy with her! Sory you are sad! =(
Posted by nicole; updated 12/19/03
Reply
Hi,
I know its rough when you expect something, and things do not turn out to be that way. Think about your sister and what stress she must be going through with all the planning. I know it hurts and that is ok. Think about it this way, 10 years from now, you will also be married with kids, and you and her will be great friends. Trust me i have seen this happen before. When siblings are young, they put their friends ahead of their families, once they are married, your family comes before your friends. 10 years from now, her best friend might not be in her life, but you will also be there. Let her make her choice, she might regret it later (trust me, i know she will), but she is old enough to make her choice.
Plus she probably told you about the contract signing thing so as not to hurt your feelings, which shows that she cares about you. If she did not care, she could has said anything else.......
Remember no matter what she will always be your sister....
Posted by elbint; updated 12/20/03
Reply
I don`t know where you read about the grandmother. But that doesn`t matter anyway. The witnesses are the people who stand up for you in the wedding and this is rarely a grandmother.
But anyway, your sister has her reasons and it is up to you to respect them. If there is any conflict over this, it will be because you stirred it up. Do you want to be the cause of bad relations during this happy time?
You do have to be of legal age (varies from state to state) to be a witness. Brides and Grooms that have their minor children act as the Maid of honor or Best Man, have to get someone else to sign the contract. So, she was not lying to you.
Whatever happens, do not be the cause of bad blood. It will lie on your shoulders for years. Enjoy this time with her. Her Maid of Honor is not just who she is closest to, it is also a huge responsibility, for people who take wedding seriously. The Maid of Honor is in charge of putting together the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Can you realistically do this at your age? This person is also to make sure the Bride remains stress free on the wedding day and she also handles any and all last minute emergencies/mishaps. This person is the contact at the reception should any vendors have any issues. Vendors should not go to the Bride/Groom or to their parents. This responsibility is given to the witnesses so that the other key players can enjoy the day. Are you old enough, mature enough, responsible enough, and wise enough to deal with these issues (DJ/band, caterer, rented hall, toilet overflowing because a child shoved too much TP down the toilet)? There is a lot to consider in being a bridesmaid. Anyone not willing to do all of these things need to say no when asked. It is their jobs to make sure the Bride/Groom completely enjoy the day and never know there was any sort of problem.
I don’t know how old you are, but if you’re under 18 or even 21, you probably cannot carry this burden fully.
Posted by Dawn; updated 12/21/03
