Secret Marriage

I just want to say that I don`t really understand the need to be married secretly, but to each his own. Do what you want. However, people here are getting mad that others don`t understand and then don`t even try to explain why they would such a, frankly, unusal thing. If you were really concerned about people understanding, you should probably give a little more detail. While I don`t think that you have to spill out your entire life story to complete strangers, but its sort of not fair to ask people to understand your situation if you can`t give a reason why having a secret wedding is a good thing. Like I said, it is your life and you can do anything you want to, and the reasons that I did hear on this thread seemed to be valid reasons, but your wedding is supposed to be the happiest thing in your life. I think that I would be hurt if I went to a wedding just find out that the couple had been married already, especially if it was a close friend or family member. In short, I think ultimatly, make yourself happy, but you should take other peoples feelings into consideration. While you should be the most important person in your decision making, you do not live in an isolated world, and your decisions affect others.

Fudgie, I totally understand your wishes to marry secretly. My fiance and I are planning our wedding for next October. I can`t tell you how many times we`ve thought about eloping. I am a wedding planner so there is more expectation on us than ever! My advice is to do what you feel is right in your heart. I disagree with the guilt trips of family and friends... Sure it`s nice for them to be whitness and celebrate your union but when it comes down to it, this marriage is about you and your soon to be groom and the love you share. There are many reasons why people tie the knot outside of the box. Whatever your reasons are, they are enough and if folks can`t understand that then that`s their own problem....
Good Luck! - Stephanie

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I do not recommend a secret wedding. My husband and I got married last January. We originally planned a June 2003 wedding. I got pregnant with our now 6 month old son and was due in June 2003. We ended up getting married at the Justice of Peace ( so I would have medical insurance) and attempted to keep our marriage a secret and just push the wedding bck until September because we desperatly wanted the wedding of our dreams. After months of "talk" about the pregnancy behind our backs and our familys hounding us about our wedding that is completely unrealistic. We cracked and spilled the beans about allready being married to end all the gossip. We are now in the midst of planning a proper wedding for April 2004. We couldnt have wedding in September with the baby being only three months old and was born c- section. Looking back I wish that we would have just planned an intimate wedding with family and friends reguardless of having the wedding of our dreams. We now know that a wedding can be pulled off with only three months of planning, because a few months later I wasnt the only one being gossiped about and a rush wedding was in effect for my cousin.