Parents Dont Support Engagement
I am 20 years old and am a member of the United States Marine Corps. Recently I was proposed to by my boyfriend who is also a Marine and is on deployment to Japan right now. My problem is when I broke the news to my mom she was extremely unsupportive. She told me I was making a big mistake and told me she would not support me. What can I do to prove to them that I love my fiancee and am ready for this committment? Also he is Puero Rican and I am white so that may have some influence. I am going to marry him regardless but I would like to have my parents support.
Posted by Lyndsey; updated 11/27/03
Reply
Congratulations, Lyndsay, on your engagement! I totally understand what you`re experiencing since I`ve also experienced some opposition to my upcoming marriage from my parents as well. I know that it is hard to get married without your parents support,but you have to ultimately do what`s best for you. Best wishes to you!!
Posted by Angelique; updated 11/28/03
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Congratulations!
What can you do? You can respectfully listen to the things that they have to say . Some of their concerns may be legitamate things to think about and others may represent their own issues. Inevitably the proof is in the pudding and the thing to do ultimately is to live a long and happy life together. You can show them and the world an example of a loving, caring, supportive, enduring relationship. Then in time they will come to you and say how they were afraid for you in the beginning, but what they see you and your beloved have together is the kind of love and quality of life that they were hoping for you all along. I believe if we live well and love well then everything else will fall into line.
L&L, Pastor April
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Posted by Pastor April; updated 11/28/03
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Unfortunately there isn`t much you can do other than explain to your family how much you love your finace and how much you`d like to have their support. If in the end they still opt to not support you and your soon-to-be-husband then that is their issue. You`ll need to move on and let your family deal with their feelings.
Posted by Meredith; updated 12/01/03
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LISTEN to your parents....trust me! When I was about your age, I made the same mistake and did not listen to them. They are older and wiser. Listen to what they have to say and do not assume. It might not have anything to do with his nationality, and more with the fact that they want the best for you regardless of nationality....
Posted by caitlyn; updated 12/05/03
