Cash For Gifts

This is odd. I grew up in New Jersey and everyone I know always gave cash gifts. We gave other gifts at the Showers, but cash at the wedding reception. When I moved South I found that people there bought gifts. I still prefer giving cash and letting people decide what they want to use it for.

I don`t care what you say, it is always rude to request any gift. Gifts should be accepted with gratitude, not expected with greed. It is okay to ask for cash gifts, but ONLY throught word of mouth. Same goes for a registry. You invite people to your wedding to share in your day, not to provide you with a down payment on a house or to pay you back for the cost of the reception. Get a clue and realize how rude and offensive behaviour like this is. If "popular" ideas always hung around, slavery would never have been abolished. Courtesy and manners have been around since the dawn of time, and only this new fad of telling people what to give you has been around for the last few years. Get out of the grind and get back into society where it is never acceptable to tell people on an invite what to give.

Realwoman, perhaps you should change your name to "RealRUDEwoman" because that is what you are.

Ditto....I am so sick of the people on these boards that think the WORLD owes them a living. If you cannot afford the wedding, SCALE it down to what is affordable. I am glad I am not your family
"RealRudeWoman". Here in the Chicagoland area, more than 90% of your guests are going to bring a card with money/check enclosed. They would have already purchased a gift from your registry for your shower. But it is NEVER proper to ask for it. I always give money but if I received your invitation BEGGING for funds, I would go to Walmart and buy you the cheapest blender I could fine!

I will normally spend between $50-$200 on a gift depending who you are in relation to me. I do give money at times again depending on the person. However, if you request money you will recieve a a set of towels from Target. Try returning something there.
Demanding money or a gift is RUDE!!!!!!!!

I recently received a wedding invitation that had "Monetary Gifts Only Please" on the Reception card. I efficiently filed it into the garbage and will not be attending this wedding or sending a gift. However, if the B&G had sent me an invite WITHOUT the rude note on the reception card, and opted to not register anywhere, I would have graciously given them cash as I can put 2 and 2 together and make four.

Remember, there is a way to make a request without ever having to say - or write - anything. I do not feel it is ever appropriate to ask for money as a gift (or to ask for gifts at all) but there are ways to let your guests know that you have everything you need by not registering at a department store.

People are not dumb, if they see a B&G are not registered anywhere they will get the idea to give cash.

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that my elegant wedding went out without a hitch back in September.

I took the advice of many of you who were really offended by my thoughts on this topic--I did "not" write anything on the invitations regarding my preference for the gift.

My husband and I decided that we really wanted to go all out with the invitations. My guests got a kick out of the gift boxes they received--we sent out 100 handmade "message in a bottle" invitions in the colors of the wedding. This was a much more expensive choice for the invitations, but it was well worth it.

When guests asked what we wanted (since there was no registry info)--other friends and family members politely told them cash would be better since we would not be able to travel with gifts. It worked out perfectly.

The reason this whole thing began was because of the fact that I`m from down south (where my wedding was held)--I currently live in New York where the mentality is much much different. Everyone up here buys gifts for the showers and brings cash for the reception--down there--many people still purchase gifts for everything. I had to find a way to slowly change their frame of mind.

Surprisingly--we pulled it off nicely. No one was offended, everyone bought cash and envelopes for the wishing well, and I heard many comments that guests preferred to do it that way because of how easy it made things for them.

Anyway, the wedding was absolutely beautiful. We found a lovely plantation in SC where the elegant ceremony was held in front of a lake. Cocktails, lemonade and iced tea were served at 4:00 PM before the ceremony began at 5 PM sharp. I had 8 hostesses and ushers who led guests from the cocktail area under the gazebo to the ceremony seating area.

Our guests were provided with oriental fans (that they took home as "one" of their favors) along with the programs to fan themselves against the outdoor elements. Luckily, the sun was beaming, but the weather was crisp--around the mid 80`s.

The reception was held in a 3 room lodge complete with fireplaces and plenty of other candy for even the most critical of eyes.

A picture window, the complete legnth of the lodge--provided a view of the lake during the ceremony. As night drew in--the lights on the plantation grounds and lake began to twinkle in the moonlight. It was breathtaking

We ate, we danced and had a wonderful time. I never dreamed my wedding would be as gorgeous at it was. We were blessed with a beautiful and glamorous day. Nevertheless, I was happy when it was over (smile). I planned everything "myself" with the help of Martha Stewart weddings of course.

Since our wedding day--I have been asked to help plan just about everyone`s wedding that I know. I will know for sure to never "ask" for money.

So REALWOMAN is also woman enought to admit when she`s wrong. I`m just thankful that I did not make the mistake of printing this request. I appreciate all of the critical yet kind comments from some of you at this message board.

The wedding was simple, beautiful and elegant filled with fresh flowers, wines and an assortment of alcoholic punches.

So everyone can rest assured that I pulled it off and with a whole lot of class!!!

Good luck to all of the future brides and grooms.

P.S. I am actually still receiving gifts here and there from people who couldn`t make it and I truly appreciate them all.

Just trying to find the most creative way to say thank you when I send out my X-mas/thank you cards next month. I must find just one more way to knock their socks off.

Realwoman, you are obviously a much bigger person than most to admit that you made an error in judment. I commend you on that attribute.

Congratulations on your wedding and I`m glad that you found a way to "ask" for what you want without ever really having to do something that many find to be rude. It all goes to show that when guests don`t know where a B&G are registered that they get the hint.

Your wedding sounds like it was fabulous and I hope your are enjoying married life. Best wishes to you!