Young Marriage

(keep in mind I am young too, Im 20) Marriage is a serious thing. To me it seems that you are just wanting to get married to get away from your family....not the best idea. I know that a lot of times parents can be difficult but they are the ones you need the most in life, you will learn that when you are older. I seroiusly dont think it is a good idea to get married in high school, you still have a lot of growing up to do and likes and dislikes can change. I would completely recommend that you take a lot of time to think about this. I am also wondering how long you have known him and if you have met him in person? If not I would recommend that you take those steps first and make sure he is the real deal. I mean, I dont know a lot of 19 year old accountants....I understand that sometimes you get lucky with jobs but usually you have to go to school to be an accountant (which is a four year degree, so the dates cant match up)! Also, keep in mind he is young too, he still has a lot of growing up to do and his likes/dislikes might change as well. Are you sure you are in love, by reading your post it seems more of a lust because he gives you so much attention that your family isnt. There is a lot to think about but I think ultimatley you need to establish a better relationship with your mother beore jumping into another relationship!

Getting married to escape a horrible homelife is a horrible idea. When you are 18, move out, get a loan, go to collage, learn life, love and whatever else your heart desires. Just please, please don`t get married! You may think you love him, but love isn`t always so perfect and crystal clear when you are 17. It`s not always that way at 35 either! You need to allow yourself the opportunity to learn about who you are first. This can only be done through a little living. I`m not saying stop talking to him or dating him, but just allow yourself a little time to grow and nurture the young woman you are going to be. If you truly love each other, waiting a few years will not hurt your relationship, in fact, it will most likely make it stronger. And as for your mother, I know you love her, but you should (even if you fight with her) listen to her. She know`s from experience how young marriages can fail. She`s not telling you these things to hurt you, but to help you so that you don`t make the same mistakes. Good luck to you honey. I hope that you can find some happiness on your journey into the adult world. I also hope that you do it alone (before you find happiness in a stable healthy marriage) :-)

Thank you all for your input. I guess that in my 1st post i did not say a lot about my love for him but i do love him. Very much. I do not think that my family life is the only reason that i want to get married but you are right that if we are meant to be together a few years will not hurt. A few years of waiting is nothing compared to how long i plan to be with him. No i have not met him in person. But he did what i am doing. I am enrolled in a college program while i am still in highschool. I am taking a college accounting class in high school for 2 years which leaves only 2 years to finish it at the college. He graduated when he was 17 like my sister did. He told me about how he graduated and how he got his job before i decided to take this couse at my highschool. He is a wonderful man and i love him with all my heart. It is just so hard to wait, but i will wait to make our relationship stronger and to make my mother happy. I know that i should listen to my mother but it is so hard to when she does the oposite of what she is teaching me. She tells me not to live with a man unless i am married but we live with her boyfriend. She tells him that she loves him, but she has told me before that she wanted to leave him because he is so much older than her. She is also talkin with a guy in france that used to be a foreign exchange student at her highschool. He asked her to marry him. She said yes if he comes over here to the usa. Well he has applied for his visa to come over. And during all this she tells me not to lead guys on. Both my parents have lied during their divorce wich took more than 2 years and it is hard to believe what is the truth. I love both my parents it is just hard to tell the truth. I love dan so much. I know i will be happy with him. I was raised that the woman takes care of the kids and does the house work while the man provides and protects and they both love and cherish each other and their family. I know most women these days are supposed to be independent but i would be very happy to stay at home and take care of my children. That is all i have ever wanted. People say not to let other people pressure you into doing things. The only thing i feel i am being pressured to do is go to college. The thing i want to be most i do not need to go to college for. I want to be a mother. I also would like to be a designer. I design dresses all the time i get offers to make them for others for their prom, but i do not know how to sew. I would go to college to take a fashion course but that is all that i am really interested in and that the only reason i have ever been interested in going to college. I will wait though to marry him. I will wait as long as my heart can take it. Instead of marrying him when i turn 18 i will just meet him in person and he will move near me. Hopefully then my family will embrasse our descion.
Thank you again for your help. I just thought that you might want to know a little bit more about my situation. I love him i really do and he loves me. I have prayed about this very much and so much peace has come upon me about this. I am happy to be married now or wait a few years as long as it is him that i marry. Thank you again for all your help. I greatly appreciat it.

It is very sad...what you are saying...you haven`t even met him...oh my god! You can have babies but that "having it all" is much harder than you can imagine. For pete`s sake...go get some counseling..you are confused and marrying someone you`ve NEVER MET AT 17 is not the answer.
Go, be a designer, be yourself...if you want to be a grown up...you need to learn to act like one, so far you are acting like a young confused girl about to make a big mistake.
Hang in...

Hi, my name is Rebecca and I`m 19 years old, I`m also married to my husband who is 21 years old. We eloped on my 18th birthday, he was 20 at the time. We are very oldfashioned and wanted to get married young. We wouldn`t have it any other way. I graduated High School early in order to marry my husband in March of 2002. My advice is to graduate first, then decide on marriage. Make sure you love the person before saying I Do, that is always a must at any age. Divorce is not a bed of roses, so make sure he is the one.