Baptism Ettiquette
We are baptizing our 6 month old daughter in the next two weeks. I wanted to keep the event small and intimate. My husband and I have very large and somewhat unreasonable families. I have decided to invite them to the baptism and then include a small not that states that we will be taking the godparents to dinner, and if they should want to join ust, we can make reservations for a no host dinner. Is this completely rude and inappropriate?
Posted by Michele; updated 11/04/03
Reply
It sounds like you are in a tough situation. What about inviting all these family members to the baptism and not mention anything about a `reception` afterwards. Although many people do host an small meal afterwards, it`s not required. You could simply take the Godparents out afterwards and not tell the other guests. Perhaps you could request that the godparents not mention the dinner afterwards so that people don`t feel thwarted.
It`s a tough situation and I sympathize with you. However, I think it would be more appropriate to not mention anything to the others than to give them the option to come along yet pay for themselves.
It`s up to you on how you do this, the above information is just my opinion - do with it what you will.
Congratulations on your new baby and good luck with the event!
Posted by Kay; updated 11/04/03
Reply
Hi, Michele --
First, I agree w/ Kay that mentioning nothing at all would be more tactful than adding the note you suggest. Yet if the baptism is taking place in a church, your families will likely expect *something* afterwards, right?
What about a hybrid solution? What I mean is, *between* the baptism itself & the intimate meal w/ the godparents, include a short & well-defined "reception" ... Preferably at one of your parents` homes! Here`s what I have in mind for inclusion in your invitations: "Following the ceremony, please join us at ____`s home for a "coffee hour" of snacks & chat, from 4 to 6 pm."
Stay for only 1 hour yourselves, thank everyone gracefully, & take your leave w/ no real need for explanations.
Just an idea ... Good luck with this, & congratulations!
-- Bon
Posted by Bon; updated 11/05/03
