Dis-Invited Divocee

If you feel that she shouldn`t be your bridesmaid then explain to her your situation. Get your roomate to me your bridesmaid if that is what you want. It is you wedding and it should be the way you want it.

She may be feeling the same way....but not wanting to back out. Has she invested any money yet?(Down payment on dress, or purchased shoes)? I would talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel, and apologize explaining it is the situation not her and If she has already invested money you need to offer her a refund, but beyond that I think it would be ok under the circumstanses.

Julie, I agree with these two ladies. It sounds as though it`s a messy divorce and in all reality it would make for an uncomfortable event if both were at your wedding. Also, since it sounds as though you asked this girl out of a sense of obligation not wanting. She`ll probably be relived to find out she doesn`t have to stand up in her wedding. I`d phrase the conversation more towards a "I`m doing this for you -- I dont` want you to be uncomfortable -- it`s not fair to you -- I want what`s best for you" The more "you" statements you can make the better. You wouldn`t want her to think you are doing it in fear of her and him making a scene, etc-- make it about her and her feelings.

Good luck and best wishes.

Your responces have been wonderful thank you so much. I am lucky she has not invested any money or time on the event yet.
Thank You Again.