Wedding Reception - Kids Included Or Not

Hi There :)

We are in the midst of planning our wedding and are trying to figure out how to break the news to my cousin and my fiance`s sister that we would like to have an adults only reception. The guest list for the event is very small (only about 40 people) and for a reception we are just having a nice, elegant, candlelit 7 course meal at a very fancy hotel. The sister and cousin`s babies will be about 15 months at the time of the wedding. We would really like this to be a classy, relaxing event for all involved. We both love our nephew and my second cousin; but we also know how unpredictable toddlers can be .......and what a handful they are. We have offered to pay for a babysitter for the children during the ceremony and the dinner - a hotel staff member who would babysit in the parent`s hotel room (most guests are from out of town and are staying for the night at the hotel as well) - but this is apparently unacceptable to the sister (doesn`t want to leave the child with someone she doesn`t know)....... I don`t know what to do!!! I would love to just give in and say to just bring them along, but at the same time I how distracting it would be --- The dinner only starts at 7:00 - which is usually the child`s bedtime ..... So what happens when the baby gets tired and cranky??? Do the parent`s have to leave as well??? My fiance`s mother has offered to stay with the baby in the hotel room (she lives far away and doesn`t see him often) - but that would mean her missing almost all of our wedding dinner!! Any advice would be appreciated!!! I don`t want to offend or hurt anybody - but I just don`t think that the type of wedding/reception we are having is appropriate for toddlers..........

Thanks, Mae :)

IN my personal opinion, i think kids should always be included. They are a part of the family and your lives, and they always have a ton of fun, dancing and playing with the other kids. Im getting married in april and we are inviting all kids and adults. Good luck in your decision and best of luck!

Denise,

To invite or not to invite children to a wedding is the based on the personal preference of the B&G and those hosting the event (ie, those writing the check if other than the B&G). There isn`t a right or wrong way -- it`s simply preference.

I chose not to invite children to my wedding. I simply opted to not put their names on the inner envelope and when some of my relatives asked me if children were invited I told them no, that I preferred to have an Adult Reception. Several told me that they wouldn`t be coming then -- and that is their decision.

I`ve seen too many children cause a scene (ie, scream during the vows, etc) to want them at my wedding. It`s not that I don`t like children, I just prefer to have adults only. Also, the day gets very long for children and they often get tired and cranky and their parents aren`t able to enjoy themselves as much as they could since they are always having to keep an eye on their kids.

One thing you could do is hire a babysitter to sit for the kids while their parents are at your wedding. That way, they don`t have to worry about finding their own babysitter. You could also simply tell people that you really want them to be there on

Again, it`s not an issue of what`s right or wrong so hopefully WW III doesn`t start as it sometimes does with some topics. It`s an issue of personal preference and each couple needs to decide how they want things to go at their ceremony.

Good luck to you as this isn`t an easy thing to decide and follow through with!

We are inviting all the children in my and my fiance`s families. We`re not inviting all our friend`s children or coworker`s children.

That question was worded in an interesting way though. I`m not allowing or disallowing guests to bring children. I`m inviting the children who we want to be there with us.

I think that there is a definite distinction between kids and toddlers. Kids aged 4+ can stay in a room and watch tv by themselves - whereas toddlers (the age that Mae`s describing) require constant attention. Since you seem to be having a formal dinner (which I`m sure you paid quite a bit for) - I would say not to worry about telling guests to leave the toddlers at home. They should know first hand the kind of attention that their babies need and the disruption that they can cause at such an event - and not be so rude as to tell you what to do on your wedding day. You`ve already offered a babysitter - if they are not willing to accept that - then tough!!!!

Like a few other people said, it is your decision. It is your day, but realize that people are coming to celebrate with you. So you may also have to bend a little for them.

Maybe you can have a little table for the children with foods like pizza, hot dogs and fun stuff. That way they can entertain each other, while the parents have fun.

I do not have a solution for children under 2 years, because those require more attention. If the guests are from out of town- finding a babysitter will be hard.

Once again- Good Luck with everything. Just remember to have fun on your wedding day!

We have decided not to have children at our wedding. My side of the family has numerous young children and we are worried tha they will misbehave and act up during the ceremony and reception. Also, we are having a formal wedding that will include alcohol and will last until late. In my opinion, children should not be exposed to that environment. Additionally, the price per person for dinner is expensive, even at the child`s rate. My fiance` has a niece and nephew and we have decided not to include them in the wedding either, which caused some hurt feelings among my fiance`s mother and brother and sister in law. But, we are going ahead with our decision because it is our day and we are only getting married once so we want it to be our way.

I got married in October. The price per person was very expensive. We made the decision not to allow any childer under the age of 10--with the exception of the ring bearer and flower girl. We didn`t write this on the invitation. We simply passed it by word of mouth. Sure, some parents` feelings were hurt. However, most of them were mature enough to understand our reasoning behind our decision (too expensive, too many possible interruptions, etc.). Everything worked out beautifully in the end. Ultimately, it`s you and your fiance`s choice. Go with what your head and heart tell you to do. Whatever makes you the happiest!

I got married in October. The price per person was very expensive. We made the decision not to allow any childer under the age of 10--with the exception of the ring bearer and flower girl. We didn`t write this on the invitation. We simply passed it by word of mouth. Sure, some parents` feelings were hurt. However, most of them were mature enough to understand our reasoning behind our decision (too expensive, too many possible interruptions, etc.). Everything worked out beautifully in the end. Ultimately, it`s you and your fiance`s choice. Go with what your head and heart tell you to do. Whatever makes you the happiest!

We are inviting kids as well. We will ahve a table and play area set up with pizza and drinks. As well as games and puzzles and other fun stuff.

I did have quite a few kids at my wedding; fortunately they were all well-behaved. There are some however, who are not. Some parents think no matter what their kid does, its "cute", you know?

I am getting married in Oct and there will be no children under the age of 12 except the two in the wedding. Each guest will receive a reception card that says Adult Reception. The cost to feed our adult guests is high enough, we just had to say no to children.

We had argued with this Issue as well what we came up with is there will be a Area at the Reception set up for the Children with activities for them. Such as Bubbles, Washable crayons & Coloring Pages of cartoon characters, A small T.V. With either a video player or D.V.D. Player & some finger foods for the kids.

I am planning a wedding in October, who is ... Not inviting any children to the country club. We will be having several girls to babysit the kids at the house while the adults enjoy themselves. For babies, mothers will have to make a decision to come or not to come.

Do not include this on the invitation, spread it word of mouth and address only the adults.

Good luck!

I`m getting married this June and have decided to let children come to the reception, just not the ceremony.
Reason being, I don`t want to be in the middle of my vows when a baby starts crying or a bouncy toddler gets loose and runs the aisles.
I am however, providing a nursery at the church for those with children 5 and under.
In reference to the reception, unless you`re going to have a drunken bash I think inviting the kids is fine. Really if you`re inviting a lot of out of town guests with children, it could prevent their coming if their children aren`t invited. It`s hard for someone 300 miles away to find a babysitter in your town.

Sometimes, adults can act worse and cause ten times more problems at weddings than children can.

I`ve opted for the Adult reception also. The reception invitation states adult reception so there won`t be any confusion. Plus the inside envelop will list the names of any young adult that would be invited. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and feeding children can get expensive. Not to mention we are having an open bar and I do not want to have to censor my words or actions for children. Everyones opinion will differ on this but it boils down to what the bride and groom want.

We are having the same problem at the moment! Between us , my fiance and I have three kids and we think we will have a adult reception. That included not having our OWN children at the reception. Its a hjard one, but who will look after them when the sun goes down and they gat cranky and tired. What if they fall over and cry . We want our adult guests to be able to enjoy an open bar and not have to watch their language around the little ones.
Im not sure if you agree with us or not, but I think it will end up being that way.