Young Couple With No Money!! Please Help!

Congrats, I am also apart of a young couple but we are holding off our wedding until 2005 in order to have more of the dream day we both envision. But if you don`t have loads of planning time, get on the internet for ideas. The knot, like someone else mentioned, is a great site for tips, but while the stuff looks pretty cheap It`s really not! the hands down best place to shop is wal-mart or meijer!!! we got our ring bearer`s pillow which is more than $40 at david`s bridal for $14.99 are walmart, the matching flower girl basket cost $9.99 (was nearly $50 at the bridal shop) DO NOT be fooled, you don`t have to spend an arm and a leg on items to make your day special. If there`s not enough money for great photography have someone you trust take your engagement and wedding photos, have a homemade buffet or a potluck dinner, make the invitations and wedding programs on your home computer, and most importantly look for clearance items and big sales in craft stores. Have a great time planning and I wish you a long and happy marriage

Hi, Lauren!

"Elegant" doesn`t mean "expensive"! You really can do this, but first, decide the absolute maximum of your budget.

Let me describe 2 weddings for you: a $1,000-1,500 one, & a $4,000 one. We created & performed the ceremonies for both.

(1) For their May wedding several years ago, April & Sean rented a hillside & a recently renovated adjacent barn for $150 from the Conservancy that runs it. They hired us to create the ceremony (back then, for a customized ceremony we charged $300).

April & all her attendants wore the same dress bought in a regular store: a sort of peasant look, & one that could be worn again & again. The attendants were all in varying colors, while April`s dress was white. A friend volunteered to play music for the hillside ceremony. The couple created a simple invitation on their computer, asking their guests to "let their presence be their gift", & to bring a covered dish.

A friend of the family went to a wholesale flower place, buying everything necessary to create decorations, bouquets, & hair wreathes for the wedding. This friend in fact created all of these herself. The day before the wedding, the couple, along with friends, decorated the barn with ivy, other greens, & twinkle lights.

Since everyone brought the food, no caterer was needed. Another friend made the cake. April & Sean, in advance, had bought up plates, cutlery, glasses, etc, at flea markets, yard sales, & thrift shops for use in their reception. The couple`s largest expense was likely wine & beer they supplied.

Their wedding was rustically lovely, which was just what they`d wanted. Afterwards, so many of their guests told us how well the wedding represented Sean & April ... & how they wished they had been able to do what they wanted at their wedding.

(2) Our own August 1998 wedding cost closer to $4,000 for 80 guests. It was held in a Moroccan restaurant that charged $25/head for a 7-course meal.

Planning this over only a 3-4 month period, we created slightly fancier, theme invitations on our computer, & printed them ourselves. Ditto maps to the site, & a menu. The vellum for these was purchased at a local discount paper place.

At 2 discount fabric stores, we chose gorgeous material for our non-traditional attire (more robe-like, in keeping w/ the Moroccan theme): a silk of reds/oranges/golds for me, & a patterned earth-shades material for Walter. My then 78-yr-old mom sewed my outfit, & I began Walter`s but mom finished it. A friend from whom I`d bought jewelry, offered to create my wedding necklace & earrings as a gift.

Since the restaurant itself was lavishly ornamented, we added no decor. And, having experienced our share of wedding "favors" as being toss-aways, we decided against that extra expense.

This restaurant`s 7-course meal consisted largely of "finger food". Knowing my mom & other relatives would be turned off by this common dipping into food, we followed April & Sean`s strategy in hunting up plates, cutlery, & goblets for a champagne toast. The champange & wine came from a winery in the area. We also purchased cases of beer. Keeping costs down, we offered no mixed drinks.

We asked Walter`s musician friends to play for our ceremony. For the reception, we simply borrowed the usual Middle Eastern music the restaurant typically piped in softly.

My mother picked up disposable cameras very cheaply at a local twice-weekly flea market (a mistake to use these!), while a photographer who wanted to work more closely with us offered her services for free, other than the cost of development & travel to the wedding site.

Oh, & we created an interesting place-card arrangement for the tables ... Which unfortunately backfired! Having hired no florist, I collected cuttings from hardy shrubs on our property (holly, evergreen, etc.), supplemented this selection with some dried flowers from a craft store, & assigned each table just one of these as its "centerpiece" -- the "holly" table, the "ivy" table", and so on. Attached to the centerpiece was the meaning of that particular plant (if we couldn`t find it out, we simply made it up!), with a request that guests at that table offer up that particular wish for our marriage. Then, we attached each name card (computer created & printed at home) to a sprig of the plant at their table. We attached the name-cards alphabetically on a left-over panel from a Japanese screen we`d had in the garage, & planned to place the screen in the restaurant`s foyer.

It could have worked well but for 2 unforeseen things. First, our friend transporting this screen arrived later than planned. Second, too many of our guests arrived way too early. So some chaos reigned!
_____________

Could go on & on ... But won`t.

The point is, in both weddings, lots of unnecessary costs were eliminated. No limos. No party favors. No Vera Wang wedding gowns. No special yet uncomfortable bridal shoes. No tuxes rented. No florist hired.

What you need to do, after determining your budget, is separate such things into: essential for you/him, non-important, & everything else. But that`s too simplistic a rule.

Suggestion: visit our 2 websites for further ideas, since I`m tiring out tonight. You can find them at:

... Http://www.logoswed.bigstep.com/
... Http://pages.ivillage.com/celebrants/

Good luck! As said, you can indeed do this!

-- Bon
Logosophias@netscape.net

You are so lucky to join us military wives?!! It is good. The hubby to be can go to his local BX/PX and purchase a book on military weddings, this is less than 15 dollars and will tell you step by step. If they do not have it in stock, then they can order it. Check with his chain and their wives, I`m sure the family support group will be more than willing to help or even take over! I did plan my wedding by this book, it has everything from the proper invites for seniors and thankyous - to picking up a bag of rose pedals from the BX/PX for a dollar. Christmas lights to decorate fake trees are probably in the supply closet . And of course dress uniforms, Swords and Sabers can be used for your walk down the long, yet rewarding trail of military wife. He will need to talk with his chain of command. Remember to plan and not stress!! If something falls through the cracks it`s OK and meant to be. Good Luck to You Both