How Young Is Too Young?

I totally support you. I am 17 (almost 18) and my boyfriend and I are completly in love. We also want to be engaged by christmas. If God gives you the person who you are supposed to be with at an early age then go for it. I really support you two love birds!!!

Too young can be too young. I have been with my fiance since I was 19 now I`m 24 and ready to get married. We just recently got engaged in September.

At 19, I wanted to get married and I`m glad I didn`t. When you get in your early 20`s (mainly 21 when you can legally drink) things start to change. You grow up a little more and you start to find yourself. My life changed at 23, I didn`t know what to do with myself. I wanted to be independent but also with him. I was so confused. I`m glad that we were not married things would have been so much harder. Now that I know what I want and who I want to be with, we are ready to start our married life together.

Also marriage doesn`t only live off of love... You need resources too... Like money. Are you expecting to go to college? Get jobs? Personally I think 19 is too young... There is so much out there that neither one of you have experienced. I say experience them together and wait until your at least 21, so you can legally drink at your wedding.

I`m sorry, but I agree with your parents. They want what`s best for you and waiting until you`re older to get married is often a wise decision. I know there are many people out there who got married young and things worked out -- I`m very happy for them. However, statistics are stacked against you. I believe in going to college, living life on your own -- supporting yourself on your own, then finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life together.

I`m so happy for you that you`re in love, it`s a wonderful feeling. But, I strongly recommend people be independent before they go and get married.

Best wishes to you!

Hi Im 23 and my fiance is 25. We were friends before we got together after graduation. I was 19 and he was 21 we have been together for 4yrs and we are getting married in April 04. Believe me you are too young. Its different when you actually get into a relationship with a friend. I think i have grown up with him and learned new things. You change as you get older and it really takes a while before you really know them. I think you should at least what a year or two. My parents were not for me getting married. I got engaged on christmas last year and my parents told us both to wait a year or two. I took their advice and we have my parents blessing . It will be a year and 4mths. I think its worth more when you have your parents blessing than not having their blessing at all. I hope you consider waiting a year or two and save for your wedding. That will give you time to get to know him better and give your parents time to get used to the idea :). Godd Luck

I am with all the way!!! I will 23 on oct 14th, and i met my husband since i was 15 and got married almost 2 years ago and now have a 4 month old son!! We have been through alot together and would not change a thing!!! IF you really luv him then do what is right for you and for what makes you happy not for anyone else even if you two dont last, but that is something you guys will have to figure out for yourselves!!! BEST for luck!!!! Amanda

Since I posted this...a while ago...lots has changed!
We got married in April so we`ve just passed 6 months and we couldn`t be happier. We are both at university and both working and everything has worked out fine! As for being able to drink...firstly the legal drinking age in Australia is 18 and neither of us drink anywyay!

Thanks for all your input!.

Hi Hon! I am 21 and have been with my boyfriend since I was 17. I considered getting married within the first few years, but he thought I should go to college as I had always planned. Now, I am in my junior year of college, and will be graduating May of 2005. We are two hours away from each other, which is extremely tough, but it has strengthened our relationship more than anyone could imagine. True love is amazing, as I am sure you know, but something you`ll never get back is the time you spend with your friends. My suggestion: go to college and do it for yourself. Your man will still be there for you when you get back, and then you`ll be more financially stable and definitely more emotionally and socially mature and ready for this huge committment. Good luck!

I have to side with your parents on this one. When I was 18, I met the man I later married. I met him when I was in college. We fell in love and talked about marriage. The plan was for me to finish college first and get established in a career. We dated for two years, were engaged for three more, and stayed married just one year! I felt like I should have known him well enough after 5 years but that`s not always the case. I realized, at age 23, that this guy was not someone I had much in common with. I grew and learned and changed as I went through college and I became a different sort of person than what my first husband wanted. I am thankful now that I got out of it as soon as I did. Please give yourself time to grow and mature. I`m 37 years old and believe me, the kind of man in my life now isn`t anywhere near the kind of man I married in my early 20`s. Take your time. I have heard people say they wish they had waited to get married (for a variety of reasons), but I never heard anyone say, "Gee, why couldn`t I have gotten married at 19?" Something to think about...
Take care.

Hey, I just have to say I support you. You are more than old enough to know what you want. In the good ole days people were married at 12 and 14. And I think you`ll find more of them still together than these current people that say 18-19 is too young. The thing is if you start liveing a dream at an early age you don`t look in so many directions and find so many other things.Also the drinking thing, if alcohol ever gets in your life you are autimatically headed down hill.Young couples that are happy can be happy without drugs and alcohol and never have to try it. Also not everyone has to go to college.Not everyone`s dream requires it.I`d personally rather live in a cardboard box with the one I love than in a mansion alone. Actually I am building us a cabin, and probly wont be done for a year or so, but it`s not going to cost me an arm and a leg either. Good luck Hope u stay happy

Re the response left by Daniel: You don`t mention your age. My guess is you are pretty young yourself--very few mature adults would say an 18 year old is more than old enough to know what he/she wants out of life. You don`t to have to live in a mansion to be happy, and believe me, ask any homeless person how cozy and romantic it is to be in a cardboard box with the one you love! Get real! By the way, no, you don`t have to have a college degree to be fulfilled or to earn a very good living, but statistics show it certainly does help. Judging from the misspellings in your post, you could use a little more education. Have fun in the woods!

Hi,
I am 18, my fiance is 20 and we are getting married in a few months when we will still be 18/20. Our families and friends are happy for us. In fact, the only people who are concerned about us getting married so young are people who do not know us very well and do not know our relationship. So I listen to their advice, but don`t take it to heart because they have no idea about our relationship at all.

18 is a young age to get married, but whether it is `too young` is different for each person. If your parents are concerned about it, you should listen to them because they have your best interests at heart, they have experienced hardships and may be able to judge whether you are ready for them or not.

And you do need a bit more than love in order to make a marriage survive. It doesn`t just have to be a close relationship but also a strong one. You need commitment, understanding, sharing and communication... Plus a lot more things that I can`t be bothered typing at the moment! But it`s my understanding that all these things can be reached in a relationship no matter whether the people are 15 or 115!

Oh, and Susan - I think daniel was using a hyperbole in order to make his statement. Surely anyone with a bit of education should be able to realise that (and therefore not take it too literally).

There is a famous quote (i can`t remember who it is by though) that says `A woman unsatisfied must have luxuries, but a woman in love would sleep on a board.`
This is quite in line with Daniel`s comment...
Anyway, now I`m sidetracking :)

I will have to disagree with you Sazzy. Daniel was not "using a hyperbole in order to make his statement," he needs to go to school (back to high school or maybe think about taking English 101 at your local junior college).

What kind of example are you setting for your kids? Is love going to buy all the necessities for a family? Telling them that it`s okay not to go to college... If it`s not your kind of thing. Getting a college degree now a days is equivalent to getting your high school diploma… and you know how far a high school diploma is going to get you.

Age shouldn`t really be an issue if you have lived life a little. When you get married at 18 you probably haven`t lived on your own, paid your own rent, started college, LIVED LIFE, meet new people (not the same old people you went to high school with), travelled a bit. Come on, think about it.

At 18 what have you done without your parents help? Worked in high school so that you can go out with your friends on to see a movie?

I know some people are not the norm (I`m not). I moved out the my home at 17 (still in high school), I had to get a job to pay rent, grocery shopping, phone bill, etc. And I even saved up to travel in Europe for a couple of weeks. I paid my own way through college and I will start grad school in the fall next yar. Without that I don`t think I lived life a little before starting my relationship at 19. We have now been together for 5 years and just got engaged.

Take time, you only live once.

Dear Bubs,
I must say congratulations first on your future engagement. Then secondly, your parents do have a point but you are also 18 and have the right, but having the right isn`t the best way. The important thing is that you want to make everyone happy that loves and cares for you. There are questions to ask yourself is, are you ready for death do part? Are we financially ready? No regrets? What does love and marriage mean to you both? I was married young and I don`t regret that one bit, I know that god brought us together at a young age, because he had plans for our future. Be smart about the decision and respect your parents. It does take a while for parents to take in the engagement and marriage idea because to them their child is all grown and won’t need them anymore, which we all know is false. But it doesn`t mean that they aren`t happy for you or love you less. Talk with your parents, do things together that has a meaning to all four of you ("quality time"). When you have respect for them and your future marriage, they will have respect for you. It`s a win-win situation. Good Luck and God bless.