No Show Matron Of Honor
My MOH did a no show for my Bridal Shower. No call, no email, no nothing. The day prior she said she was coming. She finally contacted me two days later and said she was really sorry but she got the address for the shower and bachelorette party mixed up? Her cell phone was dead, and she tried to call her mom for the address but she wasn`t home.
Everyone I`ve told this to says it`s a lame excuse and that I should find a new MOH! I know my MOH has some personal things going on in her life and she wouldn`t do anything to hurt me but I guess I don`t know how to find out the truth. Or should I press the issue? I need some help fast, my wedding is in less than 7 weeks!
Posted by Jennifer; updated 10/08/03
Reply
It probably is a lame excuse but I think it`s too late in the game now to do anything about it. Just brush it off and go about finalizing the details for your wedding. Let her come to you if she wants to help but stop relying on her for things. You can ask her to step down but do not replace her. Replacing her would be rude to the girl you ask to step up. "I wasn`t good enough to be your MOH before but now since things haven`t worked out, I am?"...it`s the same with replacing bridesmaids.
If you can put your feelings of hurt and anger aside, maybe you can take a minute out from being the bride and return to being a friend...tell her you`re really upset and hurt she didn`t come to the shower and if she persists with the excuse tell her you wish she`d been more prepared. Like having a car charger for her cell phone or double checking the address before she left. But you say she has personal stuff going on in her life right now. Maybe she`d like to or needs to talk about it. If you two have been friends for a long time, put aside your wedding for an hour or two and talk to her about what`s going on in her life. Too often I hear about brides completely forgetting that there is life outside of planning a wedding...don`t be that bride.
Posted by ann; updated 10/08/03
Reply
Jennifer, although it`s unfortunate that this happened to you, I wouldn`t press the issue. Let her know you`re sorry she couldn`t make it and that you missed her not being there. Lend an ear, or a shoulder for her to cry on, if she is having a hard time. From what you said, it sounds like she has some things going on in her life right now and I bet she needs you to be there for her as your friend.
I definitely wouldn`t drop her as your MOH because of this. She`s obviously very special to you or else you wouldn`t have wanted her as your MOH. Cut her some slack and don`t forget to be there for her too.
Good luck!
Posted by Kay; updated 10/08/03
Reply
I definatly think this was an honest mistake. Maybe she wont say something too open to you because she know`s your stressing about YOUR big day. Being a MOH and all, she`s your lady ... Your favourite one .... In that respect, you should forgive her .... In my opinion ...
Hope this helps ...
Posted by Coryelle; updated 10/08/03
Reply
Jennifer, give the girl a break. She missed your bridal shower, it`s not the end of the world. You seem like many brides, you think the world should stop because you are getting married. News flash for you - it doesn`t. Life goes on even though you are getting married in a few months. People do not have to cater to you because you are getting married and it`s not a national disaster if someone can`t make it to your shower. Quit being so self-centered and remember you aren`t the only person that matters. Your friend is having a hard time right now and all you can do is think of yourself and think about how you should have been there for you. Where are you for her?
Posted by Emily; updated 10/08/03
