Invite Some To Reception But Not To Ceremony?
I am having a dilemma with my parents. My dad works at our church and we are pretty involved in it as a family. There are a lot of people whom I would love to invite but I can`t afford it all. My parents` solution to this is to invite everyone to the ceremony and then some (around 150) to the reception. I do not agree with this because I don`t feel it is fair. My parents say that people will understand if they are not invited to the reception. My stand is that people will understand if they are invited to neither one of them; it`s either all or none. My parents and I are paying for the wedding. What is the correct ettiquette on this matter? Any advice from experience??? Help!!
Posted by Carolina; updated 10/08/03
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37 years ago, my mother in law insisted that we invite her canasta girls to the wedding and not the reception. I felt that was rude, but did it, but later regretted it. Once, my husband and I were inviteded to a wedding/cocktails ,and then felt very awkward /hurt when most of the other guests stayed for dinner. At my daughters wedding a few months ago -- everyone invited stayed for everything. We had only our nearest and dearest (and that was a lot). Mama Judy
Posted by Judy; updated 10/08/03
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It`s never proper to invite someone to the ceremony and exclude them from the reception. It basically says to them "you are good enough to come watch me get married and send me a gift, but you are not important enough to celebrate with us". It`s quite an insult. I feel it`s even more insulting when the hosts say " oh, they`ll understand". Understand what? That you can`t afford to entertain all your INVITED wedding guests so you picked the ones you like best? The ones who mean more to you? Ouch. Yeah, they`ll understand alright. It`ll be crystal clear.
Posted by Linda; updated 10/08/03
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Carolina,
Linda is 100% right -- it`s not appropriate to invite someone to the church and not the reception.
It is all or nothing.
Posted by Kay; updated 10/08/03
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I agree with Kay 100%. If they aren`t good enough for your reception, then they arn`t good enough for the wedding .... Plain and simple ...
Posted by Coryelle; updated 10/08/03
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I do not agree with any of them. I am a bride to be in January 2004, well I am also an active church member in the church. The type of formal reception that I am having I can not afford to invite all of the church congregation as well as my closest family and friends. So what I`ve done is that I am having a pre-reception in the lower level of the church immediately following the ceremony. My family is cooking some good homemade foods. My closest family and friends that are invited to the reception will immediately leave the church following the ceremony and make there way to the reception while the church members will be in the lower level in the church dining on some home cooked food. We will have a seperate wedding cake as well as a receiving line. This will work for everyone and noone feeling will get hurt.
Posted by LATOSHA; updated 10/20/03
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I think it depends on the situation. Are the ceremony and reception in the same place? I am planning a wedding for June 2005 and right now will be planning on inviting some to the ceremony but not the reception. There will be an hour ot two between events and they will be in distinct locations. My reception is also going to be for about 200 people even if I invite some only to the ceremony.
Just remember, this is your wedding. In the end, the decision needs to be yours.
Posted by Kristin; updated 10/20/03
