Groom`s Mother Interfering

Maybe she was just making suggestions. If not, who cares? If the bride and her mother want a cake from Joe Blow Bakery then they go order it. If they want Flowers from Jane Doe Florist then they go order them. If they don`t want to shop for dresses with the groom`s mom, then they go shopping without inviting her. I don`t see what the big deal is really. All she has to say to the groom`s mom is "thank you for the suggestions, we haven`t decided yet on that". It isn`t something anyone should be in tears about and it isn`t something she should tell her daughter to do something about. The daughter does not need to be the middleman for the two mothers. I say carry on with whatever plans they want to make and thank the groom`s mother for her suggestions and move on.

Thanks Val for the helpful advice. You`re right, my friend has come off the weak one here; right from day one the correct response should`ve been, "thanks for the suggestions, blah blah blah..." Thanks ago, you sound like a pro at this wedding stuff. ;-)

I am in this same situation, only i am the bride. I am pulled in 2 different directions, wanting to plan the wedding with my mom and not wanting to hurt my future mother in law. I tell you, it is causing more stress to the bride than her mother. I believe though that the grooms mother has a right to be involved in the wedding planning. Include her in the dress shopping. Include her in choosing the sites, just remember, it is neither the mob`s or mog`s wedding, it is the bride and grooms and they are the ones with the final say. I would tell your friend to be accommodating, her daughter is going to be related to this woman for a long long time. She doesn`t want to cause hurt feelings and resentment at the start of a marraige, that will only lead to failure in the marraige and desent between the bride and groom. Tell her to talk to the bride and let her know that it is important about what SHE wants (the bride), not anyone else (not even your friend - the mob). Tell her to do what she wants for the wedding and that she will willingly be there for help. If the bride wants to include the mog in the planning, so be it. It will lead to happier times in the future anyways. And just because someone suggests something doesn`t mean it has to be done. Just remember, the mog is just as excited about the wedding as the mob and her child has just as much involvement. I informed everyone involved that i loved to hear suggestions, but told them that if i didn`t take them all into action, it wasn`t that i didn`t appreciate them, just that i had different ideas about what i wanted. Remind your friend to be civil (for her daughter`s sake), and include her. If the bride doesn`t like something, then she can reject it. Just don`t cause more fighting because it will hurt her daughter in the end and everyone`s relationships will be strained. Just remember, a wedding is about love, not competition and rivalry.