Is It Tacky To Request $$ As A Gift?
So, thanks to all of your responses I`ve booked a country club where I grew up in Glendale California for May 2003. It`s gorgeous! (We had orginally thought of Valentines Day but realized it may be to imposing)
For $1000.00 we will have hors d`oeuvre`s, drinks, cake cutter, cd player and the use of a photographer, plenty of parking. I couldn`t be happier...
However, if a couple has all they need for their home and we really would just like cash gifts <--- this sounds so cheesy, how do you go about requesting it tactfully and not offensively?
Any suggestions ladies, help?
Brendan
Posted by Brendan; updated 09/27/03
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Brendan -- you asked the one question that causes the most heated debates!
I`m adament on this issue that it is not appropriate to ask for money as a gift; It`s not proper etiquette. People will aruge and call eachother names, etc over this very topic -- but I feel strongly on this -- do not not ask for money.
If you and your fiance opt to not register anywhere that is essentially telling guests that you really don`t need anything and they in turn will more than likely give you money. Also, it`s typically the MOB, MOG, MOH, and others in the wedding party to `spread the word` as to where you are registered. If these people tell people "well, they have everything that they really need so they aren`t registered anywhere" that will tell anyone, without saying it, "give them money."
I really hope my response doesn`t cause WWIII because this topic often does. But I think most people agree, asking for money is not appropriate.
Good luck!
Posted by Kay; updated 09/27/03
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Yes. It is tacky. Whether cash gift or otherwise, it`s tacky to request a gift period. To advise your guests as to what you would like to receive assumes that you`re EXPECTING a gift.
Posted by Jenna; updated 09/28/03
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I have seen people register for a very limited number of things and once those are bought- people can give cash or go off and buy something on their own.
From our point of view it was easier to give cash than guess.
Posted by advice; updated 09/29/03
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Yes, unequivocally - it is tacky. Guests are just that - Guests. You invite them because you want them to share your joy - no one is required to give a gift - any gifts you receive are a bonus to the enjoyment of sharing your day with friends and family.
Posted by Mirish; updated 09/29/03
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Thanks ladies for your honest replies...
Most appreciated, and I now know what to do.
Brendan
Posted by Brendan; updated 09/29/03
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Where were you ladies a month ago when I was posting the same responses but getting shot down right and left by ladies on this board who thought it was okay to ask for money or include gift registry info in their invites?
Posted by ann; updated 09/29/03
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Congratulations!!!!
I think that asking for money is tacky, but if you have lived together before being married and have everything you need, my advice is a limited registry.
It says we have everything we need but if there is something you know we need that is not on the list feel free to buy it but unconsiously says please give money instead and that way it is not tacky.
Congratulations again.
Posted by Dawn; updated 10/01/03
