Money Shower

Personally , i think it sounds rude. A shower is to shower gifts, not money. A gift should never be requested, especially demands of money. If you can`t accept gifts, don`t have a shower. Most people will be offended if you tell them to bring and give you money. I know your intentions are innocent and practical, however, insults don`t always allow for practicality.

I agree. And a large part of the whole fun of a shower is to watch the bride to be opening her gifts. If it`s all money then it`s boring because everyone already knows what all the gifts are. Showers are definitely gift opening occasions. I`d say if you can`t be inconvenienced by the packages then skip the shower.

It shouldn`t be up to you to have the shower. That is something for your bridal party. The word could be spread around but never in an invitation. They can do a money tree for you or something similiar. This is when something is designed to tie money bills onto which is a fun but not rude way to let people know you could use cash instead of gifts. Expect people to bring gifts anyway. You could always take them back for store credit and buy them when you are over there. I will say depending or when you are moving to it may be cheaper to ship your presents over then actually wait to buy them there.
Good Luck.

Mary,

I`m sorry but I agree with all these ladies. Having a "Money Shower" is not proper and I wouldn`t recommend it -- also, it`s not appropriate for you to host a shower for yourself. Showers are to be hosted by someone else -- MOH, co-worker, friend. Since it is an event where gifts are typically given - it`s not right to have one for yourself. Asking for money for a shower or a wedding is not acceptable.

On a positive note, since you aren`t registering anywhere more than likely everyone will give you money for your wedding. Not registering is a way of telling people -- without really telling them -- "hey, we really don`t need anything so if you want to give us something -- give us money."

Good luck with your wedding!

I live in upstate NY and it`s very popular here to have a Jack and Jill party instead of a shower. Many of the brides here are already settled and have homes so they don`t need all of the "shower" type gifts. The parties are run pretty much like a Stag Party, so everyone pays for a ticket, raffles etc. Everyone who wants to attend knows that the purpose of the event is to raise money, so it takes away the need to specifically ask for monetary gifts. It also helps that there is (usually) a set price for a ticket so it prevents the guests from worrying about whether or not they gave too much or not enough etc.

Kelley,

I`d never heard of that sort of party before - sounds fun though. Then again, I`m in the midwest and things tend to be different in different areas of the country.

The Jack and Jill idea is great and will be very helpful to those who are needing money rather than gifts. I love learning what different parts of the country do and what is acceptable in their specific area.

Here in the midwest it wouldn`t fly -- but it would certainly be beneficial for many brides/grooms!

Also, I love the way you spell your name -- my sister is also a "Kelley" and we`ve never seen anyone else spell the name with the ey before.

Mary, I strongly recommend that you do not go ahead with a money shower. Please don`t listen to Eric, my goodness he could barely type out a coherent sentence. It`s obvious that he is lacking in manners and social graces.

Please take Sarah, Linda, Kay, and my advice and not have this money shower. The very idea is such a social faux pas that it makes my heart beat fast.

Even if guests are not willing to say to your face that they think it`s tacky, they will talk about it behind your back and you will be ridiculed for being rude.

I simply don`t understand why people feel that as time goes on etiquette doesn`t have to adhered to. Etiquette never goes out of style.

Please know, take it from me, if you have real friends then you can pull off a successful and tasteful money shower. Be clever in the way you present it. You can plan all details with a friend or relative and ask a relative to appear to be the host. This is what a loved one is for.

Oh, and Rome fell because it never changed. You are the master of YOUR ship, not the small handful of people commenting here. There`s a HUGE world out there, Sweetheart, and you will love Europe, especially if this is your first trip there.

Good luck and you do what feels right in your heart. Surf the net for ideas on how to tastefully present a money shower according to your situation, your surrounds, and your group of people attending. Just explain on the invitations that due to the situation of going over seas, a money shower is going to be presented. Both big and little donations will be truly appreciated as well as thanking them for their understanding.

I almost forgot, I`ve been to at least 4 in the last 6 years. Everyone had a wonderful time at each one of them and each of them were enjoyable for all as well as a positive situation. Just make sure to be very gracious and thankful for even the slightest of donations. Make sure they are instructed to enclose them in a sealed envelope too. You could even turn it into a couple`s shower for both of you, including the spouse/friend of the invited guests. Be sure to have gifts to give for prizes for planned activities and great food. Have a small thank you token for everyone who comes and always be genuinely gracious, especially to those who cannot give much but that you know would if they could. Allow people to also know it will be enjoyable for them. Make it fun, make it lively, and again, have great food and you can`t go wront.

Good luck on your leap of faith, my friend.

Why bother with the expense of a shower? Just send a self addressed stamped envelope and ask for a donation.

Don`t be silly, Eric. I`m in my mid twenties and I agree that a money shower isn`t acceptable. I also agree that this woman should not be throwing her own shower or planning the details. I don`t care if you`re 15 or 50, manners are still required and good etiquette always applies.

It would also help get your point across if you typed in sentences. That is one long sentence you wrote and difficult to figure it all out. Try using a single period at the end of each sentence and commas to separate thoughts. All those dots every few words makes people not even want to bother reading it.

Not trying make you feel bad. Just offering some advice if you want people to take what you have to say seriously. I`m sure I`ll get an insult or two thrown my way because of this, but I guess that`s the way it goes.

Good luck.

Actually Eric, you are the one who is sounding uptight, snobby, legalistic, superficial - since you had not only one, but 3 money showers. Get over yourself already...you`re sounding like one of those "typical" americans we all don`t want to be associated with.

Eric, I think you are way out of line. I too am in my mid twenties, and I would not say that I am old fashioned. However, you say that it is acceptable to talk about someone behind their back because you didn`t like their gift, well, people will talk behind your back because of your rude manners. No, it is not old fashioned to tell people what to give you, it is still common knowledge and ettiquette, even in today`s world to practice good manners. Geez, I could just see you bitchslapping someone because you didn`t like their gift! Manners are about respecting those around you and showing them that respect, not about looking "proper" as you put it. I live with my fiancee, something that a lot of people still look down upon so looking "proper" doesn`t really apply to me. I will not tell people to give me money because I love and respect my friends and family too much to be so utterly rude. Throwing your own shower is tacky (let alone 3), and tells those around you that all you are interested in is the gifts or money involved. If your friends and family were so great, they would have thrown you a shower themselves, or perhaps they didn`t want to be embarrassed by your rudeness and lack of class. I encourage every person out there who is to be married to not even concern yourselves with the showers. Those who love and respect you will throw one for you. If they don`t, oh well, a wedding and engagement is not about how much money you can make, it`s about planning and spending the rest of your life with someone that you love. If you lose sight of that because of the $$ signs in your eyes, maybe you should rethink your marraige all together.

Eric, I`m sure you`ll be surprised to find out that I am 28 years old and live in the midwest. I`m also sorry to inform you that I do not have a pacemaker. I do however have manners; this trait is something you obviously lack.

The fact that you referred to "collecting" over $5,000 at three showers makes me cringe. I have never heard anyone refer to gift giving as `collecting.`

I had three bridal showers thrown for me in the past month and received many lovely gifts. I never once told anyone, or even thought, "hey I collected loads of gifts." I was however touched by the very fact that people who are my friends and family wanted to throw a bridal shower for me and give me a gift.

I have read many of the posts by some of these ladies above and applaud all of them for knowing what is proper and what is not.

Eric I pity you for being so oblivious to what is rude and what is not.

Eric...once again. So, you will take a load of cash from your "closest" family and friends, yet won`t sleep with your fiancee? Get your priorities straight.

You must be gay.

For your info Eric, I don`t feel hurt by what you say or think. My fiancee is the only man I`ve been with and I certainly am not a hypocrite. I have class, unlike you so why don`t you just go away and leave all of us normal people alone. (and by the way, MOST people DO live with the person they are to wed first, so I am not going against the norm. And as for pointing out spelling mistakes, take a look at your previous messages buddy. I, like everyone else, am fallible, but at least I have the class to admit when I make a mistake. You, on the other hand, are to ignorant and rude to do so. And by the way, what is a married man doing on a wedding website anyways. Get a life. Spend some time with your wife. Oh, she`s probably tired of your incessant whinning and ignorant views herself. Can`t blame her, I wouldn`t want to spend time with an impotent ignorant loser such as yourself either.

I think Eric`s gay.
I think Eric`s wife is frigid.
I think Eric is a self obsessed, ignorant loser.
I think Eric needs to get a life.
Eric probably never fucks his wife.
I think Eric is a greedy jerk.

His wedding invitations probably said:
Eric, the most greedy man in the world
Is to wed Sally, the woman with the lowest self esteem
They want to to attend their wedding
BUT ONLY IF YOU PROMISE TO EMPTY YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS
Don`t even bother to RSVP if you can`t give us money.
All others are welcome, but for those who can`t afford to come: screw you and never talk to us again

QUESTIONS:
Eric claims he`s married, so what is he doing on a website for weddings?
Eric claims to be an english teacher, so why is his english so atrocious?
Eric claims that no one minded giving them money, but how does he know what is said behind his back?
Eric claims to be decent, so why is he so rude to all of us?

ANSWERS:
He`s not married. (heck, he`s probably still a virgin)
He`s not an english teacher. (my bets are he`s still in high school)
He never had a wedding to begin with. (and if he did, God help his wife).
Eric`s on drugs. (or raised by socially inept morons).

SOLUTIONS:
Lets all just ignore his rude comments and hopefully he will just go away and get a life. C`mon ladies, lets ban together. If any one of us talks to him anymore, it will not work. So lets just shoo the dog away.