Marrying Into The Military?

Rules
Love him and pray for him
Follow all the military rules on base so he and you will not get into trouble.
Be open minded when he can`t tell you everything about his job ect, so you don`t get angry because he is following orders.
Protect him from those who are being nosy about the military by saying only he`s fine happy, ect. Tell them nothing else.
If he is deployed do not get upset if he can not tell you his mission or destination.
Make friends with other wives it is easier because they know what you are going through.
Really follow rule number one and all the rest fall into place.
Best wishes to you and your soldier hero.

BUY THE BOOK "married to the military" by Meredith Leyva very good book for us girls marrying to a GOOD looking guy in uniform :) also you can go to www.cinchouse.com it is the books website.

I`m not marrying a military man, but my father and brother were in the military. Here are some suggestions:

1. Ask your fiance if he has any friends who are married whose wives might help you get acquainted with military life.
2. Get involved with the Officers` Wives Club or NCO Wives Club (depending on your fiance`s rank) as soon as possible after you marry.
3. Ask HIM!! :) He will be flattered that you are interested in his work.
4. Be open-minded about people who are different from you. We lived a number of places with a variety of cultures and races. If you live in military housing, there is no segregation; you do not get to choose who you live next to. Diversity is a good thing, though. Meeting children of different backgrounds enriched my life greatly.
5. Follow rules regarding driving on base, use of the commissary and post exchange, etc. Don`t be a no show at medical or dental appointments. Be courteous to call ahead if you are going to be late or can`t show.
6. Don`t wear clothes that are too revealing -- even at summer events (i.e, July 4th Fireworks & Picnic, etc.).

The bottom line is that what you wear and how you behave reflects on your husband. I don`t know how the military is now, but when my father was in the Army, it was common for a soldier to be called in by his company commander and for the commander (the Big Boss) ask the soldier, "Soldier, can you not manage your own home? Your wife was seen doing x, y, z..." If it`s not the company commander, then it`s one of the ladies in the Wives` Club taking the wife aside and gently confronting her about her behavior or dress.

Best of luck to you! Are you having a military wedding? Those are usually wonderful ... And usually a lot less expensive to have the reception on base, too.

Hope this helps!

Girl, i`m also marrying an soldier. The best thing to do is search everything you can find about the army. Here`s a website for army wives, fiances and girlfriends that will help you, and its a good place of support, and you can ask any questions and they will tell you. Www.solo-ups.com. Here`s another site. Www.usarec.army.mil, also www.armywives.com, http://31rct.tripod.com/armylingo.html, http://www.ilovemysoldier.com/armyranks.htm, and there`s another site and others, can`t remember them now. But this should help you in the mean time. If u need more help, u can contact me back.

My father is Air Force and I grew up knowing that what ever you do on base goes on his record and reflects on him. And I mean everything including drive the speed limit. The one thing my mother aways said was military wives stick together. She has many friends that we have meet living all around the world. It is also a good idea to make friends with the wives of the people in his unit, because if he gets deployed they all get deployed and these women can be your lifesaver in many ways from watching your children to being a big support.

Congrats on your upcoming marriage!!

I`ve been "married to the military" for 5 months now and I absolutely love it. A lot of times you will hear of the negative, but let me fill you in on the positive. My husband is active duty Air Force and we live on a base, where we don`t pay rent, don`t pay for utilities, don`t pay for electricity, do not even pay for our garbage to be hauled. Our neighbors, women who know exactly what I`m going through, are ALWAYS there to lend a helping hand in any way they can. I`m 19 years old, going to college, coaching cheerleading, and trying to have a baby. None of which I could be doing if we weren`t "military". They say being a military wife is the toughest job in the military, but I think it`s the most rewarding job in the world.

I am a military female and my fiancee is civilian. I will tell you what I have told him be open minded and ready for change. I have been in the military for 8 years and the most important think a spouse can do is listen and get involved around the base. Respect his fellow officers and make sure they respect you. Good Luck and have fun. Look at the Army as a free travel agent every post if what you make of it. Take the good with the bad. Stay on your knees praying because when the first few times come when he has to go into the field it will seem unbearable but God has your back

My family is all military, so me marrying into the miltiary wasn`t a big adjustment. My biggest advice is to find a support group. All miltiary bases have a family support group..especially for wives. They will become your best friends. Also, never believe everything you hear about your man, especially in the area of unfaithfulness. Believe him, trust him until you have a reason. I`ve seem many marriages end because of a rumor.

Hey sweetie
I don`t know if you wedding has happened yet or not but i would like to give you my advice. I just got married to the military in feb of 2003 and my husband was sent overseas in march i have not seen my husband since he left. Military life is hard on some and easy on others, You learn as you go. Be patient with him. But at the same time mkae the best of a bad day. I love my army man and I know that this means alot to him so be supportive. If you are stationed near fort hood give me a line and you are more than welcome to hang out with me and my friends that i have met through this deployment. Deployments are probably the hardest of it all. Don`t try to be someone you are not. If you don`t fit in with one crowd then try another. There are many different types of people in the service and there is good along with the bad as in anything. Good Luck, if you ever want to talk my email is posted......Heather

My fiance and I have been engaged since the first part of August.he left for his deployment on Aug.29.he won`t be home until April and the wedding is in May.Thanks you everyone for all your advice.It is nice to know that I am not alone in this new "military" world.

My fiance is in the army on basic training, once he comes back home we are planning on getting married, people say is cheaper to get married on base. If anyone knows help me out telling me your experience cuz im trying to see what would be better, nice and cheaper for our wedding cuz we are tight on our budget. Thanks

I just wanted to thank all of thoes who replied to the first post. It was not me who posted it but i too am a little over a month away from "gettin hitched" to a man in the Army. We won`t be living on base for a while, but we will be living in the same building as several of his married military buddies. I benefited from everyones advice i`m sure as much as the origional poster did. Thanks agian,
DeWitney

Hey everyone...i was wondering about living on base. What are the rules/regulations on going off base...and do all millitary wives live on base if they move to the base to be with their spouse. Meaning do some live off base and near by? anyone know anything about army bases in germany? sorry about all the questions, thanks for the help! : )

My husband is in the military and a friend of mine married a man in the Army as well. I don`t know where you and your families are stationed but out here in Hawaii it was not a plesant experience. I`m a "local" and some of the other soldier`s wives didn`t like me right off the bat. I`ve heard that people have a harder time adjusting to this base so that might be a reason. My husband is just your average enlisted (E-4) so he hangs out with other guys his rank. Because I`m in college, the other wives think I`m "too good" for them because none of them work or do anything but make babies and drink all day. I`m not saying that all wives are bad, because I`ve met some very nice ones. If your husband`s an officer or an NCO then you might be better off because I`ve heard that for some reason their wives are nicer (I don`t know why).

I would like to recommend something different for you. No books, because the books may help on programs and things you can do, but I have yet to read any books that really detail the inside politics that go on between wives. The non going rank game that is sometimes played. If I were you, I would first of all get involved. Don`t worry about what your husbands/fiance rank is. That should not matter! Wives do not carry rank. Please remember that. I have been a military wife for 10 years and I can say this is the biggest thing that I still yet to understand. Learn to help one another. Be respectful but stand your ground as well. Support him by being involved. I feel as if all the books that are out there, are only wrote by officer wives and I dont agree with them all. The life is not as great as they can put it sometimes. Find a book that has maybe been wrote by both sides. Just remember the best advice is always best: Be yourself and prepare for anything!!!!

I just recently got married to a guy in the marines in August 2004 and he was shipped to iraq exactly a month after we got married. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through. I have not been married long but have learned alot the best advice about being married to someone in the military is to learn to be strong and your own person. It is hard some days to do the things that i need to do, but that is the job that he choose and so now i have to do the same, i just enrolled in college and hope to have a hold on my carreer by the time he comes home. Like heather said it is easy some days but hard alot of the time. Be strong and support your husband is the best that i can say.

Hey Ladies,
Are there any military wives on an overseas base? I am getting married in a couple of moths and I will then be going to Yokota Japan. My fiancee is already there. I wanted to know, since he is already married will they move me and our son? Also, I want to know how is that base. I have lived on Mcguire AFB and It was not pretty. It was DRAMA city. I would love to have feedback, comments, or just paln ole advice on being a military wife.
-Ashley

Yokota Air Base is a WONDERFUL place- but like any assignment- it is what YOU make of it! As a spouse, you will have tons of opportunities to explore Japan through base tours and adventuring out on your own. The train system is easy to follow- and the Japanese are so friendly. There is even an opportunity to teach English- which is really not teaching from square one but having conversation to keep the Japanese English current in their skills! But if you didn`t like McGuire, you might not like Yokota-because as I said before, it is what you make of it!

I have never lived in a military setting nor has anyone in my famly..but i am goiing to get married to someone that is in the army. I dont mind a long disstione relashionship. But i dont know if i can go years.. All i know is that i love him with all of my hart..were old high school sweet harts... My qustion is if i married him...does that mean i will have to move alot in a year.ya know like from base to base....or will have time to make firends....i just hope that i can do this.....i mean mental i know i can. It just .....my fellings...with all of the missing him.and stuff.... Right now he is in geramy but..i am in michagain....and if we do get married i may not want to let him go.....but i know that deep in my hart he will be home soon. And i can put my arms around him...god i miss him so much.....anyways i just needed to get that off my chest....i cant wate..my qustion is , what is the rules for living on base just so i dont get surpried..lol

Hey,
I have the same problem. I am seventeen years old and getting married to the man of my dreams. I am scared out of my mind. He is a soldier who loves his job more than any thing... Except maybe me. I have to agree it is scary. We are getting married when he returns from Iraq in Decemeber of 2007. The only thing we can do is hold on to that love and know that they will come home to us. The loving part is easy it is the waiting. Don`t worry God will take care of all his soldiers.