Wedding Gifts

I have a couple of close friends who attended my wedding but have not given a gift or acknowledged that they are getting me one at a later date. I know etiquette states that people have up to a year after the wedding to give a gift but one of the friends that hasn`t given me anything is getting married at months end. Do I buy a gift or wait and see what happens?
Posted by Sheila; updated 09/09/03

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That happends to me too. I will give her a present, because I think that it is the right thing, some people are always late for everything, who knows she may surprice you. Do not take it to heart, you awill be the only one with the hurt. Be the bigger person. Good Luck
Posted by Reme; updated 09/09/03

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I forgot to mention that this same person attended another wedding and I heard she didn`t give a gift either (and that was a couple of years ago). I`m trying to figure out whether she thinks it goes unnoticed or is she just that forgetful.
Posted by Sheila; updated 09/09/03

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It`s been a long time since I`ve been to these boards and now that I`m back at school (last year!!!) it`s good to see not a lot has changed--Everyone still hates David`s Bridal, wants chair covers, etc. Especially that all you brides, even after the fact, are still so darn concerned about gifts! Apparently you didn`t receive enough from your 100-plus other guests? Get over yourselves. Why don`t you ask the non-gift givers where their gift went. You could fabricate a story like, you were sure you saw a gift from them (or a card) but now you`re not sure what it was they sent (blame it on your MOH for not properly documenting everything) so could they please refresh your memory so you can send a proper thank you note. Then they`d feel like a jackass and run right out and get you something that you probably wouldn`t like anyway. Could you be more selfish? When did brides turn into such materialistic people, focused more on how much loot they can rake in than the purpose of a wedding day? What did you do, keep a copy of the guest list and check off everyone`s name as you opened gifts to make sure they fulfilled their end of the "deal?" When your friend received the invitation it probably said ..."The honour of your presence" and she probably thought that really meant you wanted her there. Why don`t you call her up and tell her what you really meant? Did you include your registry information in the invite? If you didn`t, how the heck would she possibly know where to get you a gift? If you did, maybe she thought it was rude and tacky (rightfully so) and decided not to get you (and the other friend) a gift to prove a point. I`m getting married in May, right after I graduate, and either I`m in the minority or I truly know what a wedding day`s purpose is. Let it go, it`s ONE freakin` gift.
Posted by Kimmieb; updated 09/09/03

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If they are `close` friends can`t you just ask them? As for the upcoming wedding, if you normally would give a gift at a wedding, then I would do so. Just my opinion. Just because people`s ideas are different on giving gifts at weddings, it shouldn`t reflect on your friendship.
Posted by Vanessa; updated 09/09/03

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Some people just haven`t been raised with the same values or social teachings as most of the rest of us. I bet when your friend gets wedding gifts she will feel little guilty for jilting you.
Posted by Pat; updated 09/09/03

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Since she is getting married, recommend that she read this message board and perhaps she will learn something about being a wedding guest (and friend).
Posted by Pat; updated 09/09/03

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Wow, you must be really upset over not getting a gift from your friend, i can not believe you have taken the time out to write a message on here regarding it. There was most likely a reason as to why you did not receive a gift from her, does it really matter? Yes i would bring a gift if i was invited to a wedding as i beleive it is only the polite thing to do. I am getting married in 3 days and i can honestly say i will not be scanning my gifts to find out who did or did not bring me one. Please out of respect and to avoid embarressing your self do not ask her about it, you would sound and be acting so desperate. OH and by the way you should take a gift to her wedding, two wrongs dont make a right, being spiteful wont get you anywhere.
Posted by kylie; updated 09/10/03

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If she doesn`t give wedding gifts she probably doesn`t expect them either. Don`t take her one. They aren`t important to her, so do something for her that she does consider important. Take her to lunch or for a manicure- spend it talking and being close friends, instead of obsessing. If she knew how much it meant to you she would probably have bought a gift. Everyone has different priorities, try to tune into hers instead of forcing her to toe the line by getting her a gift or making a big show of not getting her one. It`s not going to help the realtionship. Good luck repairing your friendships.
Posted by Jewel; updated 09/10/03

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Sheila,

You should go ahead and buy her a gift. You never know, she may have given you a card or a gift and it got misplaced or stolen.

Just go and buy her a gift and if you never receive one from her then oh well......life goes on.
Posted by Kay; updated 09/12/03