TO INVITE NOT TO INVITE
I was in my childhood friends wedding seven years ago since then I have moved out of state, and we have not talked at all. Do I ask her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding or just invite her to it. We always agreed that when one of us got married the other would be in the wedding party. Help :(
Posted by Lee; updated 09/05/03
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This happened to me too. You all are adults now and they will understand if you don`t ask them to be in the wedding.
Posted by Pat; updated 09/05/03
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If you`re not talking now - then most likely you won`t talk post wedding. Why have a person in your party who you are not very close with? Choose the people you know are lifetime friends.
Posted by Heather; updated 09/05/03
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Being a bridesmaid in someone`s wedding doesn`t require that you reciprocate by asking them to be in your wedding. Besides, you haven`t spoken to each other in seven years. I don`t think she would feel comfortable if you asked her to be in your wedding party now.
Posted by Tammy&Mark; updated 09/05/03
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No, I don`t think you are required to have her. It should be who ever you are closest with. Who knows maybe she`ll be relieved you didn`t ask her. She could be thinking...".We aren`t close and haven`t seen each other in 7 years and now I`ll have to spend all that money......I hope she doesn`t ask me!"! LOL
Go with your heart!
Posted by Felicity; updated 09/06/03
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It`s funny you posted this because I am dealing with this as well and was going to seek advice about it...was MOH in my childhood best friend`s wedding 5 years ago (they divorced 9 months later) and I moved out of state first, and then she moved out West about 3 years ago. We talk maybe twice a year and have totally grown apart, are into different things and it occurs to me that we may still be close if we still lived down the street from each other but as of right now we are at two different ends of the spectrum in terms of lifestyle (not lifestyle in terms of money or anything like that). I will probably ask her just because I feel like I should base her status as BM on the 20-plus years of close friendship we had and also her mom and my mom are still close so I don`t want her mom getting upset.
Why have you and your friend grown apart? I`m guilty because I don`t call her (and neither does she). She rarely uses the computer and doesn`t know how to type whereas I am always on my computer and thank god for email so that I can keep in touch with my friends back in Chicago. I feel like I should have her in my wedding based on 20-plus years of friendship, not our status right now. But then I have another childhood best friend who is a doctor now and therefore I talk to her maybe once a year. She`s so busy with residency she doesn`t have time to answer my emails either. I feel like if I ask one I should ask the other because they were both my best friends from the age of 3 through high school and a little beyond. But I also don`t want the doc to be put out either... This was supposed to be advice for the original poster and now I`m more confused than I was...
Posted by ann; updated 09/08/03
