Help! How Do I Drop My Maid Of Honor?
Ok, hear me out before anyone gets upset or judges me. I got engaged in April 03. We set our wedding date for June 26 2004. I`m SOOO excited. I asked my good friend to be my maid of honor, of course she has accepted. Here`s the problem. She never talks about the wedding, she has missed 2 appointmentss to go with me to try on wedding dresses. She is so busy trying to find a man and a relationship that she has not been there for me at all! Here is the kicker. She is not working, she received her last unemployment check, her phone was cut off, she has 2 children and no income. How can she possibly be there for me? How do I tell her that I perfer if she gets her life in order and not to worry about me and the wedding without hurting her feelings. I`m not changing my mind about her because of the finances totally (although that does play a big part inmy decision)but because she has so many other things to worry about and she should not have to worry about me and my wedding. There are things a bride needs from a maid of honor and she is not emotionally able to handle those duties right now. My wedding is the most important day in my life and I want my maid of honor to feel the same way. I don`t to feel bad that I have to go for a fitting and she can`t afford to come or even buy her dress. Help, what do I do??? Please it`s my wedding day, don`t I have a right to be a little selfish about my needs and wants????
Posted by Kim; updated 09/04/03
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Just explain to her that you know she is having some hard times right now & as her freind you know that she is under pressure with her finances & that you understand what she is going through. Maybe ask her if she could serve cake or register your guests for the wedding so she is still included just not as much of a expense for her.
Hope this helps
Tami
Posted by Tami; updated 09/06/03
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Personally I feel you may be jumping to conclusions a bit too early. If your wedding isn`t until June of 2004 I`d give this person a few months to get their life in order before giving her the MOH boot. Perhaps the 1st of the year and then address the issue with her. She must be a very near and dear friend to you to be chosen as your MOH. If she is that special to you wouldn`t it be nice to give her the opportunity to get some things in order in her life? You have plenty of time before the wedding to get all the attention you want/need deserve. It`s obvious that your friend also needs some support right now and although you are a soon-to-be-bride and yes that`s important -- but she`s going through a tough time and needs a friend too.
Posted by Kay; updated 09/06/03
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Your wedding is special don`t let it be ruined by your maid of honor. I have been there and it was something I had to get over. She never helped plan anything and the night beore the wedding the dress I approved of because of color and length, was changed at last moment to a different color and shorter dress. It was all so mismatched shoes etc that people ask me what was I thinking.
Give her a chance explain your need, and ask if she can help. If not give her a chance to back out. Nicely. Right now times are diffcult for everyone and she may be too stressed out but not wanting to disappoint you to say this is not a good time for me.
Be nice it is not worth losing a friend over.
I only wish I had followed my own advice way back when.
Posted by Angel; updated 09/06/03
