BRIDESMAIDS THAT DON`T CARE
NEED HELP! I have been friends with two girls for about 8 years that I love very much. About 6 months ago I moved a couple states away and don`t get to see them as much, but we still talk and they have visited me once already, and I go home about once a month. However, hey have been acting fairly shady and not friendly and like the bestfriends they used to be. A couple ofweeks ago I became engaged, and they don`t seem to care, and one of them would not even return my repeated phone calls. When I came home to see my family and friends and show them my ring etc... They did not call or come and see me...and one of them lives only 2 houses down!! My feelings are hurt, I can`t get ahold of them, and I am ready to cancel them as bridesmaids. Am I wrong or acting too self-centered? I have 4 other good friends who are supporting me, so why can`t they? To complicate matters, all of our parents are very good friends. HELP!!
Posted by Amy; updated 09/04/03
Reply
Hi Amy, I`m sorry for your situation. When you get engaged you want everyone to be as excited as you are - and it`s so disappointing when they`re not - especially when it`s your closest friends. Since they are acting so poorly - I don`t see anything wrong with asking them to step down. You want to have people who are honoured and excited to be there for you, not ones who feel it`s a chore. Good luck. You want to remember your day as one you won`t regret.
Posted by Heather; updated 09/04/03
Reply
It sounds to me like they`re jealous. I would cut them out as well a bridesmaid is supposed to be supportive, not constraining.
Posted by Sarah; updated 09/04/03
Reply
Perhaps your parents could find out why they are being "cold." Maybe you said something or bragged about something. Sometimes it doesn`t take much for others to get jealous.
Posted by Pat; updated 09/04/03
Reply
I read in a bridal magazine about this. It said that even the closest of best friends may have a problem dealing with your new life. They may feel excluded and think you and your man have your own life now and they are not included. If they are still single then this may be the answer.
I think that if they are your closest friends and have been for a while, then I would keep trying a little longer with them. Some friends just don`t understand the marriage thing. Especially if you are like most of us who meet the man of our dreams and get very caught up in them, and generally don`t spend as much time with our friends as before when we had all the time in the world for them.
I think your friends will come back, they may just need your time and encouragement. Write to them and tell them how special they are to you. If after a while they are still acting the same, then let it go. Just my humble thoughts! I think friends that you`ve had for that long are worth the effort.
Posted by Vanessa; updated 09/05/03
