Beach Wedding In NY, CT Or RI

Hello,
I just read the emails about the beach wedding - and I know they are a few yrs old...but I am now in the same boat! We`re getting married in 2010 and want a fun, casual yet elegant (I think that can work!) wedding on the beach. I`ve been looking to rent a beach house and have bridal party/family stay there - but am having a hard time...any suggestions? We`d like to do a clambake and have a tent in case it rains. We don`t want to spend 20 grand on a wedding - just a nice beach location and do a lot ourselves...I would be grateful for any suggestions...this has been much more difficult than I imagined. Thanks for your help!
Christine