I Need A Nice Way To Ask For Money Gifts.

There are other messages about this subject on the board.

The general consensus seems to be that there isn`t a polite way to ask for money. Asking for money is just not considered polite by most people.

I wish it were acceptable to do that, we just bought a house and could certainly use the cash. But we`re definitely not going to ask people for money.

K

It`s downright rude to tell people what to give you cash for a gift. Most people nowadays prefer to give cash, but to tell them that`s what they are going to give you is rude and insulting. Check out all the other postings on this and you will see how many people feel the same way.

I think it saves time and they don`t have to stress on getting a gift you will like. It`s just makes it a little easier for them. You could always try a dollar dance to. And ladies not everybody has seen every posting on this website because some of us have lives.

I think if you word it correctly, it`s okay to ask. People will probably be relieved that they don`t have to spend time searching for a gift. Maybe try a cleaver poem or something like that.

I think it`s rude to tell people that they don`t have lives because they have read other postings on this issue. I still say it`s rude to ask for money and making up a tacky poem doesn`t soften the insult. If people ask you in person what you want, tell them cash would be best, other than that, a gift should be the choice of the giver, not the reciever. Oh, and some people also find it rude to give cash, your gonna get gifts anyways, just be thankful. You also invite people to share your day, not to provide you with the funds for the wedding or honeymoon.

You thinking that it is tacky is a matter of your own opinion. Obviously the person who wrote the comment doesn`t know how to think outside of the box.

To the original poster: I think you should do what makes you happy. If you are questioning yourself about it and don`t feel comfortable then don`t do it but if that`s what you prefer to do, do it and don`t feel guilty.

It`s not about thinking outside the box, it`s about being polite to those who you love and showing a little respect. Since when have manners become an alternative. I think they should always be exercised. And i`m not the only one by the way, check out other postings and you will see how many people are greatly offended by this.

Simply put out a cute little basket or a decorated box for monetary gifts.

You also may want to have a money dance. Between the two you should get a little cash.

But to come right out and ask. It is tacky!

Should you need anything else email me @ Favorsbylacey@hotmail.com

So it`s not alright to come right out and ask your guests for monetary gifts, but it`s okay to pull what they call a "bait and switch" tactic...invited to the wedding but now they have to pay to dance with you? C`mon...

Of course I would like to get money instead of gifts(or as a gift) at my wedding. But what I find to be rude and tacky is registering for gifts, then sending a ton of peices of paper with the invite to tell them what to buy you and where to get it. Hmmmmm is asking for money really any ruder than that????

No, both of those scenarios are rude. Who mentions gifts in a wedding invitation?

I agree - it is extremely rude to ask for money. Be happy you have friends and family to come to the wedding, and want to share this with you. If you can`t afford the wedding and the honeymoon, then maybe you should rethink what you are spending on the wedding, and just take that money to elope and have a dream honeymoon.

It doesn`t sound as if your thoughts are in the right place as far as your guests anyhow, you should be honored they would want to come - not thinking about what you can get from them !!

SELFISH !!

Weddings are special occassions to share with the people that you love, regardless of if you receive anything.You will across as desperate if you ask for cash; why not get another job?

Why don`t you set up an account with a travel agent and ask guests to give monetary gifts there? I don`t see how thats any different from bridal registries.

There are some great poems on the internet about asking for money gifts. If you word it right, you can ask for money, but also say that the choice is theirs. That way people will give you money, and the one`s that would rather get you a gift can.

People are going to get you a gift regardless so i don`t see what the big deal is in asking for what you need. I don`t think this is tacky at all. I know I would prefer to give a money gift than have to shop for something.

I read an answer to this very same question, it was just worded differently, i myself am getting married next year and wanted to ask the same question, hence my stumbling onto this site. The answer given was to insert a poem into the invites,i know from reading all the responses many think it`s rude indeed, but if the guests are family and friends they know you better than to assume you`re greedy in any way, and if they do then they cant be true friends. A few of of my friends have already said that they will give us money as they know we have children and a home already,good luck :>)

[[[The answer given was to insert a poem into the invites,i know from reading all the responses many think it`s rude indeed, but if the guests are family and friends they know you better than to assume you`re greedy in any way, and if they do then they cant be true friends.]]]

That logic sounds just as silly as if I were to say if you know it`s rude and you do it anyway to your close friends and family then you must not be a true friend anyway.

Plus, just because you put a rude request into poetry form doesn`t make it less rude. It makes it rude and cheesy. It`s wrong to put mention of gifts AT ALL with the invitation. The invitation is meant to be only a heartfelt invite to share in your special event. It is not at all supposed to be a place to mention what you want.

If guests want to know then they will ASK!

The only acceptable time for putting gift information in an invitation is in the shower invitiation. And the reason for that is because the shower is obviously about getting showered with gifts! The wedding invitation is not about gifts.

You can justify it all you like and you can make the cutesiest poem in the world and it still won`t make it okay. Go ahead and keep up with this weird rationalization, basically telling yourself "I don`t care if it`s rude, I`m going to do it anyway and if my guests are offended well then too bad because they must not have been true friends then". Hogwash, my dear. By thinking in terms like that, YOU are the one who isn`t being a true friend.

Well said Linda! I cannot believe the number of people on here that want to beg for money,and think it is OK. I say all the time I am from the midwest and here, we register for shower gifts. In those invitations you can put your registry information. In the wedding invites NO mention of gifts EVER go in. Now I`m telling you 90% or more of your guests are going to bring a card with money or a check to the wedding (WITHOUT your BEGGING)! We do put a mailbox or birdcage or whatever on the gift table for guests to put their cards in but this is not MENTIONED in the invitation. Every wedding I`ve ever gone to I"ve given money but if I ever received an invitation with one of these poams or some web-site for Honeymooon funds, I would run out to the closest K-Mart a buy them a cheap blender! This may be the 2000`s but do we have to forget all our manners and good upbringing just for a few bucks? If you cannot afford the wedding scale it down to what you can afford.

Dear Annie:
Traditionally, it is inappropriate to ask for any type of gift at all, and especially not in the wedding invitation. The reasoning behind this is that you should never assume that someone would be giving you a gift, which is a choice, and not an obligation.
However, most people will want to give you a gift, and they will ask you, your friends, or your family members what you want or where you are registered. In anticipation of this, you could register with the travel agency who will be handling all your honeymoon arrangements. When people ask what you want, this is the perfect opportunity to explain that you are registered with a specific travel agency for your honeymoon.
And if someone does give you a gift that you cannot use, chances are excellent that you can take it to your local department store and return it for something you can use … like new vacations clothes for the upcoming honeymoon! Many department stores now issue gift receipts, and many guests will include them with their gift. Stores are also very flexible these days even if you don`t have a receipt, but just explain that it was a wedding gift that you would like to exchange for credit.
But even if you return a gift, don`t forget to send a thank you note to the giver for sharing your special day as well as their thoughtful gift.
If there is anything further I can help you with, please let me know. Best wishes to you and your fiancé for a future filled with joy and happiness!

Visit our page for more info: Wedding Daze

Gees, its a shame that people end up argueing over what the other has said in response to the question being asked. Annie you do as you please as you can see from this page you will never please everyone, you know your own family and friends so given this you would know there reaction if you was to have a money tree or simular at your wedding. As with a lot of things now days ``traditional weddings`` are slowly going out the window, we are all indiviuals and no one on here knows us, our family or our friends to comment on how they would respond to an ask of money at your wedding, hope it all works well for you, cheers

Kylie, I don`t know about traditional weddings going out the window, but I definitely know that manners are not going out the window and this is a question about manners, not about tradition.

We had a similar problem...this is what I put on out reception invitations.

Your presence at our reception is present enough, but if we are honored with a gift from you, may we respectfully request a gift of money to make the dream of our new home come true.

I haven`t heard anything about how rude it was...I think you take your chances either way.

You`re not going to hear anything from your guests about how rude it is. Most people of course would not dream of telling the bride her invitation is rude. But just because they don`t say anything to anyone about it doesn`t mean they aren`t offended.

I`m very curious as to why some of you feel that you should take the emphasis off the actual purpose of your invitation by including what you want to receive in it.

I`ve been to weddings where on the invitation, it`s written, " (Bride`s name) and (Groom`s name) are registered at (name of department store) but monetary gifts are preferred."

I didn`t think anything was wrong with that. Some people find it rude, some don`t. I personally think it`s okay if you phrase it this way because you`re giving your guests a choice. They`ll know you prefer cash but if they can`t give you cash, at least they know where you are registered so they`ll still be able to purchase a gift for you and not feel like they aren`t giving you what you want.

Just a quick one for Linda, the very fact that i posted the question on this site is to get feed back on how people felt about money trees, wishing wells etc in wedding invites, and yes i do care if it offends people which is why im doing this to help me make up my mind! Some people on this site get so touchy, chill out Linda!!

Yeah, but why in the invitation???

And as for this comment:
"I personally think it`s okay if you phrase it this way because you`re giving your guests a choice."

Don`t you think they already have a choice without you stating on the invitation what you want? They have a choice to give or not to give a gift at all. They have a choice to ask where you are registered and purchase a gift from your registry. They have a choice not to ask or care where you are registered and purchase something they decide upon themselves. They have a choice not to purchase a gift at all and make something or give a family heirloom. And they have a choice to write you a check for the amount of their own choosing. So what do you mean you are giving your guests a choice?

And as for this comment:
"They`ll know you prefer cash but if they can`t give you cash, at least they know where you are registered so they`ll still be able to purchase a gift for you and not feel like they aren`t giving you what you want."

Okay, but again why put it in the invitation? Guests always ask if they would like to know where you are registered or what kind of gifts you prefer. I think the rudest thing of all is to put your gift wish list in your invitation!

Linda, I`m not going to argue with you over the internet. First of all, I don`t know you. We just have different opinions. You feel offended by asking for money. Others feel that it`s okay. It really depends on the individual guest. Even more important, it`s what the bride and groom want. After all, it`s "their day". As a guest, I feel priviliged to even be invited. Just the mere fact that the bride or groom thought of putting me on the guest list is a privilege in itself. If I feel that it`s offensive for them to ask for monetary gifts, then I won`t go to the wedding. No one is forcing me to attend. I`m just saying that as a guest I`m willing to look pass the whole money issue and be there with 2 cherished friends that are celebrating the most important day of their lives.

No no no. I do not find it offensive that the bride and groom would like money. I find it offensive that they put their wish lists in their wedding invitations. If the bride and groom are ASKED by the guests where they are registered or what they would like, then I see no reason why they shouldn`t answer the question.

I’m sorry ladies, I really don’t want to offend anyone, but Annie, if you are asking the question to find out the correct etiquette, Linda really is correct. Traditionally, it is inappropriate to ask for gifts or to include your registry with your invitation. The reason I say “traditionally” is because this is really where etiquette begins ... With tradition. Linda is also correct when she says that whenever anyone asks what she would like, it is perfectly appropriate to say that she is registered here or there, or that she would really prefer money. And this may not be true in all cases, but the ones who will most likely be offended if you add the wish list to your invitation are the older generation. The younger folks will probably think nothing of it.

I’ve never done a wedding with a money tree, but at least half of them have money dances. I find that guests are pretty much split down the middle on this … almost none feel that it is rude, but some say they think it is “tacky” (their words, not mine). However, the brides and grooms who do them have a lot of fun dancing with everyone, and they sometimes get quite a nice sum of money. If the DJ does it right, most people enjoy it, and no one feels obligated to participate if they don’t want to.

Annie, here is something you could do that would accomplish the same thing and probably not offend anyone … you can set up a web page with all the information about the wedding including the name of the place, the time, and some photos. You could also include a little information about yourself and your fiancé, your bridal party, and maybe even your families. In addition, you could include the menu, if you would like, and whether or not there will be a cash bar or a hosted bar. You could then include an enclosure with your invitations that says, “To find out more about our wedding, go to www.whatever.com”. Then include a link to your registry and / or wish list on your web site. This would be a nice way to lead your guests to the information you want them to have without coming right out and asking them to give you anything. I hope this helps.

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I do not normally respond to others comments only the question being asked, but in this case i really can not help myself. Linda it shows very much on here and other sites i have seen your name ( you most likely will say it is not you) that you are so hung up about responding to others who comment on the asked question. Why bother we all have our own opinions, this is what this site is all about, everyone sharing there advice. When i read your replys which are mostly directed at what others have wrote, as opposed to the asked question , alls i read is a person who cannot accept another person disagreeing with her. I know you will reply to what i have said here as this is what you do, but please dont expect a responce back as i come on here to address peoples questions and to give them MY opinion, not to scroll through and comment on everyone that disagrees with what i have said.

Please join us at our wedding,
We`ll have cake & beer & food
We spent a lot of money
To set the wedding mood

The problem is we spent too much
Our bank account is needy
Do you think the phrase "no gifts -- give money"
Will make us sound too greedy?

We don`t earn much, we haven`t saved
There`s no budget in our life,
But we deserve extravagance
When we save "man & wife."

Please send a check -- and make it soon,
We also need a honeymoon.

Well you`re wrong - I will reply to you. You are entitled to your opinions and can state them freely for any topic or quesiton you choose to participate in. So can I and anyone else. In this case though, it`s not my opinion I`m stating, but rather the correct answer to the original question - the only way to politely tell your guests that you`d like money is to wait for them to ask you what you would like. Yes, maybe I`m overkill with replies in this area. Unfortunately it bothers me to have someone ask a question and get a whole bunch of people telling her it`s perfectly okay to do something that is rude and tacky. I`m so entirely sick of this "it`s MY day and I`ll do what I want no matter who I step on and I don`t care if anyone thinks it`s rude" attitude. I won`t let it bother me anymore though.

I also am getting married but we already have a house and do not need anything else but cash, but no one thinks its a good idea. Can you ask for gift certificates to like home depot or lowes??? Is that tacky guys?? help im not sure. And to the comment who asks for gifts on the invatation? Doesnt everyone include those "we are registered here" cards isnt that the same????

Good heavens I can`t believe I actually sat here and read this whole thing! This is way too long! Come on people what`s so difficult to understand here? You don`t ever put any gift requests, information or registry stuff in your wedding invitation. It`s as simple as that. If your shower hostess wants to put that info in the shower invitations then she can do that. Period. End of story!

Vicky you mention that it`s o.k for the hostess of her `shower` to put in a request for certain gifts so i fail to see how it can be different for a bride and groom to do the same with their wedding invites. I`m from England and we dont have wedding `showers` here, well not to my knowledge anyway, lots of responses on this site are i think from American women who have showers before their big day so as a tradition can expect presents from their girlfriends, what then is the difference?

The answer to your question was explained in an earlier post. I`m not sure which one. But basically the reason is that whole reason for a shower invitation is to invite people to shower the bride with gifts, so gift information is pertinent. Also note that the host(s) of the shower are not the bride or groom themselves. But the wedding invitation is not about gifts whatsoever and it is hosted by the bride and groom or their parents. All a wedding invitation is supposed to do is honor the invited guests by asking them to share in your special milestone. It`s really insulting to say we would be honored to have you join us and here are the gifts that we want. Hey I`m not speaking for anyone abroad though. I`m in the United States and I don`t know what other countries customs and etiquette are with weddings.

I`m from canada and we do have wedding showers here. I` have never seen gift info on the shower invite. I do also believe it is rude to put it on the wedding invite. The purpose of an invitation is to extend your wishes for the person`s company, not to extend your wishes for a gift. If they ask, for sure tell them that you would appreciate cash, or gift certificates, or registry info, whatever you want, however, do not put it on you invite, it is presumptuous and rude. If in doubt, ask an older member of your family and see what they would think, i am willing to bet most would be offended. You want people to come to your wedding to share your day, not to provide you with the funds for it.

Again this goes back to how each individual feels. Speaking of traditions, old ones are thrown out and new ones are formed as time goes by. Personally, I feel that we are at a point in time where a transition is taking place. It depends on where you are from, how old the crowd is, and what each guest is used to seeing. Every wedding I`ve been to has included gift registry information along with the invitation, perhaps not on the invitation itself but in a card or some other paperwork which is included with the invitation (1/4 of those politely ask for monetary gifts as a preference). Then again, I`m from California and I`m not part of the 40 and older crowd. No one that I know finds it offensive to include gift registry information with the invitation. Maybe this is a new tradition forming...who knows. The bride and groom should have an idea of what is generally acceptable based on who the guests are and what the common practices are in the area they`re from.

For the record I asked that my bridesmaids NOT include registry information in the invitations for my shower. It`s generally acceptable in many places for the shower invites, but I do not like the idea. Sometimes I`ve seen them in the shower invites and sometimes I don`t. I`d much rather leave it up to the guests to ask my bridesmaids or my parents (or me!) where I`m registered if they want to know.

Hey Katey, I`m also from CA (and in the twenty something crowd). I live in Costa Mesa. Where are you? Just curious.

WOW!!!! Everyone feels so strongly. If anyone is interested in my opinion . . . My fiancé and I have lived together for some time and also have everything we need. Although we would love to receive cash, we feel it is in poor taste to ask for it. To do so is to imply that you are EXPECTING a gift which is not what the wedding should be about. Instead we have made no mention of gifts whatsoever. We figure that most close friends and relatives know that we would prefer money and will either spread by word of mouth or we will not receive gifts. Since we do have everything we need (as previously stated) no gifts would be fine as well. Also, it is not your guests responsibility to send you on a honeymoon. If you cannot afford one, perhaps you should postpone until a later date when you can. Thanks.

The way I see it is that 99% of the people who attend a wedding are going to bring a gift, unless you specify "no gift". So why not simply write in in the invitation what you would prefer if they are wanting to give a gift, but always give them the option. People will always bring a gift anyway, even if the invite is for the pleasure of their company only.

Sometimes I think people would prefer to know what you want, and they will ask anyway. Afterall, we all have engagement parties right? Well we do here in Australia. So you are getting all the little things there like glasses, vases etc.

I agree that you have to give people the option if you are going to say `we would like money`, and those who don`t think its appropriate will bring a gift.

I have been to 3 weddings and a birthday party where the hosts have asked for money gifts and I didn`t hear one person get even slightly upset over this. Its your wedding, do what you want!

Vicky, Linda, etc. I`m totally with you. Marcie, you`ve said it perfectly as well. It seems that most people have forgotten what a wedding is really about and that the bride and groom are the hosts. Grace, class and etiquette should always come before money. Do not include registry information in your invite or that you want money. Do not have a money dance. Do not play any silly games to make money. Do not do anything to help you pay for your honeymoon or to reimburse yourself for the wedding.

People don`t say anything re: faux-pas in this category because they have the class not to call you out. Seriously, what guest is going to call you when they receive your invitation and bitch you out for tackiness or hug you in the receiving line and say, "You look beautiful, I`m glad I could help you pay for that dress," or "Where am I sending you on your honeymoon?"

It would be so cool if Home Depot and Lowe`s had registry, wouldn`t it? I wonder when they`ll start doing that...

That last poem was like a bad air freshener. It just covers up the rancid smell of making any mention of gift preferences.

Get back to the basics, ladies, remember what the day is about. Need help? It`s about you and your fiance, your family and close friends, and everyone witnessing and celebrating your love, happiness, the time you`ve been together and the new chapter in your lives.

The best idea so far? Registering with a travel agency! It doesn`t seem any different than registering with a store, and the people who choose to give you gifts instead of contributing to the honeymoon, will more often than not be very close to you and will give you an unexpected and beautiful gift from the heart that you never would have thought of. I had a friend do this for her wedding, and even the older guests did not find it tacky at all!

Ladies! Ladies! So touchy. Not that Annie is even reading the responses any longer, but the first response is right on. There is no polite way to ask for money. So don`t. More than likely most will give you money anyhow, especially if you already had a bridal shower with a registry. No, it`s not about the money or the gifts, blah blah blah...but let`s face it... Bottom line...it`s going to happen, because it`s also very rude NOT to give a gift. So I think Miss Annie was already assuming that everyone would understand that, and wanted a simple answer, not a Philosophy201 on wedding ediquette followed by a heated debate and cat fight.

Joe,

It`s not rude not to give a gift. You were asked for your presence on the wedding day. Not presents. Gifts should never be expected. The last wedding I went to I had $5 to my name (I had gotten laid off). I`m sure the bride didn`t even notice in the mountain of gifts she received that there wasn`t one from me. She also would understand because we worked together when it happened. On my wedding day, gifts, whether monetary or from our registry will be cool. But I just want my friends and family to be there with us and have a great time. If I happen to notice someone who attended the wedding didn`t get us a gift I`m not going to care. You can`t deny that the people on this board seem extremely preoccupied with their wedding being about money and gifts, helping with the honeymoon or replenishing their account. That`s just not right. But to each his own. No amount of bantering back and forth is going to change the fact that on this board we are totally divided on this subject, we all feel strongly about it and of course we all think we`re right!

Dear Anine,
I can`t believe so many people got so uptight about "YOUR" day. Listen, I am in my thirties live in California. I have two properties and a stable job. My fiance and I have been living together for 1 year and we have everything we need. My "opinion" is that we are hosts. Hosts of our wedding. We are inviting guests to dine, dance and have a great time in celebrating our marriage. I woul much rather prefer to get cash then a waffle iron or candles (have closets full of those). As a host however I feel it is inappropriate to request ANY gift at all. What we have done however is when family and friends ask us what we need, we answer "nothing really". "We have all we need"! A great deal of friends and family have told us "well you probably could use a little money for the honeymoon." I respond wow tha would be wonderful but, really you do not need to get us anything. Just come and have a good time." At the wedding we plan to place a Mailbox (bought one at Home Depot for $6) and are putting our Last Name on it. We will place it on the gift table for cards. We plan to leave it at that. Let your family and closest friends be your messengers. They may even want to collectively give you a monetary gift for you honeymoon. You just should not bring it up. I have been to many, many weddings and I can tell you that I much rather give cash. It saves me a great deal of time shopping and trying to figure out what the couple wants. There is nothing wrong with it. Annie, do what ever the heck you want it is your DAY>:)

I just read Ann’s response to Joe. OOPS...MISSED THAT IF NOT I WOULD HAVE COMMENTED EARLIER. I AM SORRY ANN BUT IT IS VERY, VERY, VERY RUDE NOT TO BRING A GIFT TO A FUNCTION YOU WERE INVITED TO. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A COSTLY GIFT. WHEN SOMEONE INVITES YOU OVER TO DINNER, YOU SHOULD BRING A BOTTLE OF WINE OR FLOWERS...OR SOMETHING FOR THE HOST. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT HAVING ONLY $5 TO YOUR NAME. I HAVE BEEN THERE. I ONCE WAS INVITED TO A WEDDING OF PAST COWORKER. I ACCEPTED THE INVITATION. I WENT TO BIG LOTS BOUGHT A NICE FRAME FOR $3 AND PLACED HER INVITATION IN IT. I MAILED IT TO HER THE WEEK OF THE WEDDING. SHE PHONED ME AND SAID IT WAS SUCH A THOUGHTFUL GIFT. THAT HER DECORATIONS WERE SO EXPENSIVE AND SHE WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT. SHE DECIDED TO PLACE THAT FRAME WITH HER INVITATION ON THE SIGN IN TABLE FOR THE WEDDING. EVEN IF IT IS FLOWERS FROM YOUR GARDEN WITH A HOMEMADE CARD...BUT, NEVER, NEVER ARRIVE EMPTY HANDED. I CAN GAURANTEE THAT YES THEY NOTICED THAT YOU DID NOT BRING A GIFT.

Indi,

Why are you "yelling" your response at me?

As the bride, I do not throw a wedding so I can receive gifts. As the bride, I do not think it`s rude for a guest not to bring a gift. I host my wedding so that people can celebrate the beginning of my marriage to my fiance, NOT so we can rake it in. If people bring a gift, it is a blessing. A registry is NOT a demand list. It is a suggestion and a courtesy to those who wish to bring gifts. Registries were started in our society to help young couples furnish their new home and get started in their new life together. These days a lot of us are getting married later and have already established careers and homes and most of us each have our own source of income.

As a guest, I have felt rude for not brining a gift. But any bride with any class knows the real reason for a wedding. My friends wanted my presence, not my presents.

As a dinner party guest, I have often brought a bottle of wine and always sent a thank you note the day after, and at ANY party, I always offer to bring a dish or help out in any way I can. Who doesn`t like receiving gifts?But as soon as you stop having birthday parties as a child an invitation to anything never means a gift is required.

At the same token, I would hope that my guests really want to celebrate our day with us. When I get invited to a wedding, I don`t view it as a free meal or an open bar (I`ve heard some people look at weddings that way and hopefully they are not in the majority). I am honored that I was invited and that I get to share their day with them.

Gifts are always optional. If you think it`s rude not to bring a gift and if you notice at your wedding that someone doesn`t bring a gift then that`s pretty shallow. If you get laid off right before my wedding and you can`t afford a gift but feel like it would be rude to come empty handed I would want you to know that I am having a wedding and reception so that you can take part in our day. Gifts have nothing to do with why I am getting married or why I have invited the people I have. I know my guests--my FRIENDS-- understand that.