Bridal Shower Etiquette

I cannot attend my friend`s bridal shower, but wanted to know what the proper etiquette is for sending a gift. Do I send a gift even though I cannot attend or do I just give her a more expensive gift for her wedding? Please advise. Thank you!
Posted by Deborah; updated 08/14/03

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Hi!

I just went through this recently.. I could not make her shower.. SO what I did was send a gift to the Person throwing the Bridal shower.. Added a little note to her letting her know I could not make it to the shower but wanted to send my gift. They called me and said WOW! Thank you for your gift even though you could not make it.. It is very wonderful and thoughtful of you to send your thoughts and happiness.. She will love it even though you couldnt make it!

SO Send anyway.. You will be missed because you couldnt make it, BUT she will appreciate your thoughtfullness in sending a gift anyway!

Holly
Posted by Holly; updated 08/14/03

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Thank you for your response, Holly. I would do that, but the person holding the shower is in flying from out of town to hold the shower at a restaurant and I do not want to burden her with carrying a gift. Should I send it to the bride? Or, any other suggestions?
Posted by Deborah; updated 08/14/03

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Is there any one else that you do know that is also going to the wedding? Maybe you can send it to them instead.. Usually the shower is a surprise.. YET Every bride to be knows she is going to have a shower.. Just not sure what the date is.. LOL

BUT if she does know when the shower is feel free to send it to her and let her know that you couldnt make it..

Good Luck!

Holly
Posted by Holly; updated 08/14/03

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She knows about it as she solicited all of her friends for an address! Thanks for your advice.
Posted by Deborah; updated 08/14/03

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You are welcome!

Holly
Posted by holly; updated 08/14/03

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Ettiquette states that if you do not attend the shower that you are under no obligation to send a gift. If you attend the wedding, just get the same gift that you would have gotten them if you had attended the shower. HOWEVER, if you do decide to send a gift, i would send it to the brides house or parents house (find out first if it is a surprise shower, you don`t want to ruin the surprise). Or arrange for someone you know who will be attending the shower to take the gift there for you.
Posted by Sarah; updated 08/14/03