Who To Invite..?

I am having the same problem with my fiances dad. He said if we invite certain people he will not be there. To tell you the truth it will not hurt me if he is not there, but it will hurt my fiance. I think eventually he will give in and come. Hopefully your mom comes around too. It would be a shame if she was not there, but it would also be a shame if your aunt was not there. It is a hard decision.

I am sick and tired of people who think that they have to right to threaten (and yes it is a threat to ruin your day) someone that they "love" in order to hurt someone else. Inform your mother and father in law that the wedding isn`t about them and their personal feelings but about you and your fiancee joining your lives together. I would go ahead and invite whoever you want there, just make sure to seat the warring parties across the room from each other. If they truly cared for you they would suck up their feelings for one day and allow you and your spouse to enjoy the afternoon with no worries about warring family members. Tell them how you feel about this (chances are they won`t even really see each other anyways) and even if they do, they don`t have to talk. Tell them that you don`t expect them to make up and become best friends but that they can and should act like adults (civil). I had this same problem and then realized that it isn`t my problem to deal with. Their relationship is what it is and i can`t change that, but it doesn`t affect my relationship with either party, and they should be willing to accept that. If they threaten again, inform them that your decision stands as it is, that they are welcome to attend and you hope to see them there. If they don`t attend, feel proud that you didn`t allow yourself to be manipulated by such childish behaviour (of the kind - i`m taking my ball and going home). They are the one`s who will be losing out in the end anyways, not you, because you will feel safe in your decision knowing that you gave them the option. They will regret their decision not to attend when they realize that they missed out on their childs wedding because of some petty arguement with someone they never see. (besides - and point this out to the parents - who is more important to them, their child, or someone who they obviously don`t get along). I`m betting that if they love their child more than their fight with relatives, they will attend. Remember, don`t make your wedding ammunition for them to hurt each other, focus on the true meaning of the event and remind all parties involved that it is focusing on love, not hate.